How to be "young"?!
  • irishlassirishlass
    Posts: 7,057Member
    I am 21, but I really don't feel it, and I don't look it! After having benji at 17 I jumped into the typical mummy role so quick. I concentrated on my son and being a good mother and keeping a good house and studying. Now he is 3.5 and at nursery school 4.5 hours a day 5 days a week and I feel like I am starting to integrate back into the real world again, and I am able to relate to people who aren't parents again. I am reall enjoying it! But I feel a bit lost. The thread on make up was really good. It reminded me how much I used to enjoy getting ready to go out. And so today I waxed my eyebrows myself. (I look a little bit surprised...) I am going to a concert on wednesday night and I am ready to actually enjoy it!
    I have been listening to loads of songs lately they all seem to say 'its okay cause I'm young' 'go on and live while your young' I am being bombarded with pressure to have fun! Lol
    I guess I am looking for ideas. What fun things did you guys do when you were 21? I want to make the best of my youth!
    "Be who you are and say what you feel. Because those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter." - Dr. Seuss
  • katz_meowkatz_meow
    Posts: 6,380Member
    Two words. Bars and sex. Lol
    There is nothing to be gained from treating others poorly.

    Don't be a dick.
  • VegantasticVegantastic
    Posts: 4,225Member
    Ummm... Got pregnant and married lol
    Guess I'm not much help
    "Be the change you wish to see in the world"
    "Don't Panic"
  • PurpleFlowersPurpleFlowers
    Posts: 6,043Member
    katz_meow said:

    Two words. Bars and sex. Lol


    ***like*** :D
    Stay away from my chocolate and nobody gets hurt!

    I think I like who I am becoming...
  • irishlassirishlass
    Posts: 7,057Member
    @katz_meow lol!! I have already done a lot of that lol! Shockingly... But did you ever feel that the world was just open to you? I'm feeling very ambitious!

    The bars and sex is appealing. I just don't want to build up my 'number' any more!
    "Be who you are and say what you feel. Because those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter." - Dr. Seuss
  • LittleTalksLittleTalks
    Posts: 1,376Member
    I had dd at 20 and I pretty much felt done with the whole partying and sex thing by then. I did enough of that from 14-19 to last me, I don't miss drinking and I was never gonna do all the drugs ever again anyway. But last October my best friend (my female soul mate) came to visit from canada with her girlfriend for 6 weeks. I took a weekend off (the longest I have ever been away from dd - 2 nights!) and we went with my other friend up north, did the causeway coastal route. We camped one night and went out drinking, the next night we stayed in this little bothy (however you spell it) that had no electricity and we told stories and played games, the next day we went horse riding and explored this insanely cool old castle and caves. Not to mention I smoked weed during the day for the first time in almost 4 years. Getting away from everything with some of my favourite friends really was amazing. (But I was totally ready to get home to dd at the end of it).

    Eta: maybe I'm weird but I'm a lot more psyched about almost being done with my degree and the postgrad world this is gonna open up to me. I figure ill be young enough to still do a bunch of travelling when my kids are grown up AND ill have proper money to do it, instead of staying in the crappiest cheapest places possible like I did when I travelled before.
  • Lakegirl34
    Posts: 2,814Member
    At 21, I had already been with my husband for a few years so the sex part was just him, and I did do a lot of drinking, but what I loved most about my 20's is we traveled, I finished by Bachelor's and Master's degrees and we bought a home. I had fun but I also built a life for myself that carried me into my 30's. I went to a lot of concerts, girls' nights out, and beach/lake time too. And I will add too that at 37 even with a toddler and being 8 months pregnant, I find ways to build fun in my life even though it's hard some days!
  • SassySassy
    Posts: 4,488Member
    I don't know. I'm in the same boat. I'm 22. I've drank heavily probably five times in my life so I can't hold my alcohol, and I don't like being drunk so I don't bother. 

    What I'm going to do is try to get into extracurriculars at my school this next year, and try to find volunteer opportunities near me, so that I can get out and about. I don't even listen to "modern" music most of the time. I listen to classic rock! 

    Anyway, I'll be stalking this thread....
  • katz_meowkatz_meow
    Posts: 6,380Member
    @irishlass I'm 37, and only now am I starting to feel like the world is open for me. And my bars and sex was a bit of joke. Although that's what I was doing at 21. Lol.
    There is nothing to be gained from treating others poorly.

    Don't be a dick.
  • KeepstaringKeepstaring
    Posts: 2,086Member
    Going to concerts, dancing, partying, hang out with friends, sex, travelling, reading, studying
    That about sums up my twenties.

    When dd1,5 goes to school (at 2,5 years here!) I hope I will find a fun daytime course to enroll in, I plan to spend some more time with my friends, read a lot and get a better grip on the stuff that needs to done around the house, maybe
    ;)
    “Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.”
    ― Albert Einstein
  • RosamundiRosamundi
    Posts: 1,412Member
    I got married and had a baby at twenty one, so I'm afraid I'm no help either. :(

    What I DO know, is that I always feel the most, I don't know, daring?, alive?, young?, when I'm accomplishing something that either scared me to try or that I was told I couldn't do. I learned how to paint, to sew, tried out singing, acting, set design, and theatrical makeup, joined a volleyball team, quit the volleyball team, taught myself how to really bake and landed two pastry jobs on the back of that knowledge, volunteered with at risk kids, the list goes on.

    So maybe it's not the typical "be young, have fun" stuff, but I'm a better person and mother for testing my own boundaries. And I never needed bail money, either. :D
  • TheMomFactorTheMomFactor
    Posts: 5,092Member
    At 21, I already had two sons. Honestly, focusing on my kids is the part I'm loving. I partied in school and have no real desire for it anymore. I like going out with my SO and getting a babysitter so we can have a night to ourselves, but that's about it!lol
    "Anybody remotely interesting is mad in some way."-The Seventh Doctor

    "One may tolerate a world of demons for the sake of an angel."
  • Tranquil
    Posts: 616Member
    At 21 I was into going out with Bf and friends, travelled quite a bit and shopped. A little drinking but not as much as my late 20's lol
  • GingersnapGingersnap
    Posts: 9,696Member
    The following is not advice on how to be young:

    Be yourself. Don't worry about what you think you "should" be doing "at your age". Do things that excite and interest you. Being genuine is the greatest thing that you can do for yourself and others. 
    image
    “The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.” ― Joseph Campbell
  • RinRin
    Posts: 2,174Member
    I agree with @gingersnap i was with my 1st husband at 21 and didn't do any of the things i really wanted to do, any of the things that were "me" and looking back there are so many things i wish i would have done.....do what makes you happy, not what you think you "should" be doing because you are 21.

    Life is too short for the should haves, do what youwant, what makes you come alive. And always remember to be you, and be the best you that you can be....and as the saying goes then you can look forward with confidence and look back without regrets!
    "There are many things in life that will catch your eye, but only a few will catch your heart.. .pursue those"
  • VegantasticVegantastic
    Posts: 4,225Member

    The following is not advice on how to be young:


    Be yourself. Don't worry about what you think you "should" be doing "at your age". Do things that excite and interest you. Being genuine is the greatest thing that you can do for yourself and others. 


    #LIKE
    "Be the change you wish to see in the world"
    "Don't Panic"
  • meandmy243meandmy243
    Posts: 9,474Member
    I get rid of the kids!
    let them eat cake! because id rather have pie!!!
  • katz_meowkatz_meow
    Posts: 6,380Member
    @Gingersnap nailed it. For real.
    There is nothing to be gained from treating others poorly.

    Don't be a dick.
  • BassmomBassmom
    Posts: 474Member
    katz_meow said:

    @Gingersnap nailed it. For real.



    Yep! I had a kid at 22 and i still found time to just be me and do what i like! We are meant to enjoy life!
  • TorturedbyTWINSTorturedbyTWINS
    Posts: 1,543Member
    I did things I wanted to do... showed my horse, worked at an animal shelter, tried to do my "dream job" and found out it didn't pay enough to survive off of.  I made mistakes, learned, got taken advantage of and became "unsheltered" because my parents didn't really prepare me for life.  I also learned financial responsibility and discovered who I was.  I became comfortable in my own skin when I realized that everyone pretty much goes through the same crap and we all have similar worries and issues.  I think your 20's are a time of self discovery and learning the world does not actually revolve around you, like it totally used to when you were a teen.  I also figured out my parents were human and had major flaws in my 20's.  The only one that can teach you about yourself, is you.  Chase your dreams, do shit that scares you as often as possible and be bold.  Most of all enjoy it with Benji as a sidekick!  :-D
  • LoveLove
    Posts: 14,066Administrator, Moderator
    I agree with @gingersnap i was with my 1st husband at 21 and didn't do any of the things i really wanted to do, any of the things that were "me" and looking back there are so many things i wish i would have done.....do what makes you happy, not what you think you "should" be doing because you are 21. 
    Rin said:

     Life is too short for the should haves, do what you want, what makes you come alive. And always remember to be you, and be the best you that you can be....and as the saying goes then you can look forward with confidence and look back without regrets!



    Totally.

    I got married when I was 18, and commenced to popping out babies LOL I skipped a lot of the partying until after my divorce, and then I kinda went a little wild.
    I'm 35 now, but I FEEL like I'm 25, and I enjoy life a LOT more now, than I did in my 20's, because I know what I want, what I don't want, what I like, what I don't...and I can see now that a lot of things I used to do, I just did because it was expected because of my age and status quo.

    I say fuck that. Do what makes YOU happy. Just do it responsibly :D

    community-manager


  • irishlassirishlass
    Posts: 7,057Member
    I sortove feel worried now that I am going to look back and say 'damn I WISH I had...'
    I already feel 35!
    "Be who you are and say what you feel. Because those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter." - Dr. Seuss
  • HorridWenchHorridWench
    Posts: 702Member
    Love said:


    Totally.


    I got married when I was 18, and commenced to popping out babies LOL I skipped a lot of the partying until after my divorce, and then I kinda went a little wild.
    I'm 35 now, but I FEEL like I'm 25, and I enjoy life a LOT more now, than I did in my 20's, because I know what I want, what I don't want, what I like, what I don't...and I can see now that a lot of things I used to do, I just did because it was expected because of my age and status quo.

    I say fuck that. Do what makes YOU happy. Just do it responsibly :D


    You just told my life story..literally.
    "She Dances in a Ring of Fire and Throws Off the Challenge, With a Shrug" - Jim Morrison
  • katz_meowkatz_meow
    Posts: 6,380Member
    irishlass said:

    I sortove feel worried now that I am going to look back and say 'damn I WISH I had...'
    I already feel 35!


    I think that's common for women with children, especially young single moms. Just live the way you want, be happy with who you are. We all think you're awesome
    There is nothing to be gained from treating others poorly.

    Don't be a dick.
  • SasafrasSasafras
    Posts: 1,627Member
    I was planning a wedding and in the process of buying a house at 21, which is ok because we were having fun together, random midnight drives to big cities, going to concerts, heading to amusement parks etc... At 29 we still do those things we just take our dd with us.
  • rockmomrockmom
    Posts: 332Member
    I got married at 21. Drinking and partying was almost entirely out of my system by then (although I do really miss weed!). I'm almost 25 now...and about once a month we drop ds off with my mother or sister and DH and I go out to eat together, catch a ballgame, whatever. 

    With the field I'm in in school I have to travel in the summers for several weeks without ds, and that is fucking hard. I love to travel, but my idea of fun is being home with my family and a good book, at least until ds is big enough to travel with me. 
    tripp175a