To This Day Project (bullying)
  • GingersnapGingersnap
    Posts: 9,696Member
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=ltun92DfnPY#!

    This just popped up in my FB feed. It was published on YouTube yesterday, Feb 19th. i was bullied, so I identify pretty strongly with this. 



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    “The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.” ― Joseph Campbell
  • GingersnapGingersnap
    Posts: 9,696Member
    bump
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    “The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.” ― Joseph Campbell
  • JustAConfusedMamaJustAConfusedMama
    Posts: 4,527Member
    Whoops didn't see this when I posted my thread.  Crap. It just came up on my fb feed too.
    If you would like to sponsor me for the Imagine Walk for Autism in April, for my friend's son please click the below link and donate.
    http://www.firstgiving.com/fundraiser/sfamily/12th-imagine-walk-and-family-fun-day-for-autism
  • JustAConfusedMamaJustAConfusedMama
    Posts: 4,527Member
    I am going to have that thread deleted and just post my comment here.

    This touched me very deeply.  In high school, I had my ass grabbed, I was hooted at, I was asked on fake dates(I knew that is what they were because I saw the same boys do the same thing to a friend of mine and they were stand her up and then talk about how gullible she was.  I tried telling her but she wouldn't listen, but I knew enough to say no), all because I was overweight.  My friends and I were walking down the hall one day and we were all overweight.  Some boys walked behind us and sang "Who Let the Cows Out," instead of the popular at the time, "Who Let the Dogs Out."  I walked as quickly as I could away and into the bathroom where i cried my eyes out.  I even wrote this scenario in a story I wrote.  It was a way of processing the pain and humiliation.  This is all why this video touched me so deeply and made me cry and realize that I can no longer let those little idiots still effect my self image.  I may still be overweight, but I am Beautiful in my own way and so are all my SM's here.  To anyone who has self image problems, I hope this helps you the way it did me.

    If you would like to sponsor me for the Imagine Walk for Autism in April, for my friend's son please click the below link and donate.
    http://www.firstgiving.com/fundraiser/sfamily/12th-imagine-walk-and-family-fun-day-for-autism
  • GingersnapGingersnap
    Posts: 9,696Member
    @dolphinlover26 - I cried too. Thanks for sharing your story.
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    “The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.” ― Joseph Campbell
  • TheHeadacheslayer
    Posts: 2,472Member
    Bawling so fucking hard it hurts to breathe. Because to this day....I am still the bad girl, the ugly girl, the fat girl, the lazy stupid girl, the bad mommy, the crazy person. And it's not kids at school calling me these things. It's my parents. I am 42 fucking years old and I still hurt because it doesn't stop. It won't ever stop. The things the kids did and said in school don't even come close. And yeah I'll take a broken bone any day over this. Every day.
  • JustAConfusedMamaJustAConfusedMama
    Posts: 4,527Member
    @Theheadacheslayer, don't know what to say other than huge hugs.  They don't deserve to have such an awesome daughter as you.
    If you would like to sponsor me for the Imagine Walk for Autism in April, for my friend's son please click the below link and donate.
    http://www.firstgiving.com/fundraiser/sfamily/12th-imagine-walk-and-family-fun-day-for-autism
  • GritsGrits
    Posts: 4,370Member
    @TheHeadacheSlayer, you are none of those awful things. I hope you know that.

    And to anyone else, I hate that you ever had to deal with any of this. I'm seeing my oldest begin to deal with some of this at school because she's a little chubby, and I hate it. It makes me want to hurt people. Big hugs to anyone who needs one today. Big, huge hugs. >:D<
    "I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day, and I believe in miracles." ~Audrey Hepburn
  • TheHeadacheslayer
    Posts: 2,472Member
    @Grits oh man it hurts so much to see your kids bullied! BUT if there is any silver lining to bullying--we know how our kids feel and how to help them.

    My kids are definitely passionate about anti-bullying efforts (doesn't hurt that I am a strong supporter of Jaylen's Challenge Foundation). Both have faced bullying (and most of the time, there's a big difference between boys and girls getting bullied--girls are vicious, boys can be but it's usually physical). I've been able to use how I've been hurt to help them feel better and help them deal with the situation.

    With DD I never had to get too involved, but I've had to call school a couple of times for my son (for really over-the-top bullying). I really do feel that judo has helped both of them be more confident and less afraid of anyone trying to physically bully them.

    When I'm with DH and the kids, I'm ok. But around my family.....I just want to die sometimes.


  • Matt115
    Posts: 1,334Member
    Hugs to you all and anyone else who needs one. People can be so mean and nobody deserves any of it. I've been bullied too, it really can put one in the darkest of places.
  • MistressHeidiMistressHeidi
    Posts: 984Member
    Hugs to everyone!!!

    This had me in tears. I remember being bullied. I was fat and ugly and stupid and treated like I was nothing through out all of grade school. I attended a public school in a very upper middle class area, my parents were very far below middle class. My clothes were never "cool" enough. My hair was never right, my shoes were all wrong. Everything about me was below everyone else. I still have major self esteem issues and hate what I see in the mirror. It can be a constant battle for me to teach my kids to love themselves, when secretly I have very little love for myself.

    I've watched my kids carefully, and nipped bullying as soon as I was told about it. I don't want my kids to endure what I did. I don't want any kids to have to feel that way.
  • TheHeadacheslayer
    Posts: 2,472Member
    @misstressheidi707 (((Hugs)))) back atcha!!

    Oh wow, do I remember this....the shoes/hair/clothes.....my mom bought us the cheapest clothes and so fugging ugly.....I was in middle school, dressing back in after PE (a nightmare unto itself) and....the zipper on my culottes (yes omg I wore those) BROKE. It was a crappy crappy plastic zipper. I couldn't untuck my shirt (school rules) so I had to find someone with a safety pin (that kept popping open) and get thru the rest of the day. Word got around, how I was SO FAT and broke the zipper....even my "best friends" asked why my clothes were so cheap that they broke? Couldn't my mom afford to get me good clothes?

    I am amazed that I didn't find a hole and die that day. I'm 42. That happened like 30 yrs ago and I can still remember it vividly. I'm sure I got into trouble for "breaking" my clothes (my parents always were on me how "fat" I was) and I never told them how I was bullied. I was so humiliated and ashamed.

    Sorry, didn't mean to hijack your post. 
  • MistressHeidiMistressHeidi
    Posts: 984Member
    @TheHeadacheslayer Isn't amazing how vividly those memories come back and haunt you. So many years later.

    I can remember being at school and no matter what I wore it was made fun of. One year, poofy, ruffly skirts were all the rage. And my mom made me one. (she can sew just about anything.) I loved that skirt. I felt so cool in that skirt. I wore it to school once. The girls in my class made fun of it and me. One of them said I looked like a a "poodle that had eaten too much."For months after that I was called poodle girl. They only stopped calling me that because I tried to lighten my hair to give myself high lights. (I used lemon juice and sat in the sun for hours.) It turned out kind of badly and they started calling me the bride of frankenstein.

    I'm sorry your parents were just as much a part of the bullying as the kids at school. I'm not sure what I would have done if I hadn't had the safety of home to go cry in.

    Now I'm thread hijacking. Sorry.
  • GingersnapGingersnap
    Posts: 9,696Member
    I hereby decree: Sharing experiences of being bullied isn't thread hijacking.

    My hair was all wrong. I'm a redhead, not a blonde, and blonde was all the rage. My hair is curly, but it didn't curl "right" (Spiral perms with poofy bangs, anyone?) I wasn't overweight as a young child, but constant teasing from my oldest brother and reenforcement from my parents made me not want to be seen outside, so I did become that way. (Also, my parents deprived me of proper nutrition because I was "fat", so I was actually eating less than my peers.) I was smart - you get picked on for that, too. In middle school, I couldn't get through a day without being bullied and physically assaulted. I'm not exaggerating. I learned to walk in such a way that it was almost impossible to trip me. In high school I wore headphones outside of class even if my batteries wore out - it was easier to pretend I couldn't hear the awful things said to me or about me. The physical assaults stopped. I went to Germany for a year, in large part to escape. When I came back, people who had been unspeakably cruel wanted to talk to me. I told them I'd love it if they went away for a year, butnot much beyond that. My senior year was the best because I had been nice to all of those younger than me and my year abroad gave me more status. Sure there were still a few assholes, but they were outnumbered and caught up in senioritis.

    I had a tight circle of friends that really saved my bacon. I owe them my life.
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    “The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.” ― Joseph Campbell
  • jennygoat
    Posts: 492Member
    Yup teased and bullied from late grade school to Sr in high school when I decided to become a wicked bitch and no one would dare to my face. Oh I am sooooo sorry that bathroom door just slammed into your face.
    Years latter I found out this boy that teased me and sexually teased me in middle school had been sexually abused by his father. He disappeared from school because CPS took all the kids out of that home . Kind off made me think that the bullies might have some deeper pain they are trying to deal with.
  • TheHeadacheslayer
    Posts: 2,472Member
    @Gingersnap oh god yes. My mom tried to give me a spiral perm and then...I don't know WTF she did....but I wound up looking like a brown haired Orphan Annie. SO horrible.

    I was teased by my family about my breasts. So humiliating. Most of my body image problems come from my family--not bullies at school. Mealtimes were *so* much fun (not). I was told to eat less, my younger sister was told to eat more....needless to say my youngest sister and I both wound up with eating disorders. How my younger sister escaped I don't know....but she has scary memory loss about our childhood. Like, she doesn't remember any of it.

    I think though I was lucky to get out of school when I did. My youngest sister went to the same HS I did (we're 7 yrs apart) and girls were getting sexually assaulted in hallways, kids got mugged. And this was a "good" school in a "good" part of town.

    @jennygoat yeah I have tried to tell that to my kids--that there must be something wrong with their bullies to make them act that way. My son came home upset last year, a boy told him that he (my son) "raped little boys". I was so angry and the school apparently did deal with it. All because my son's eczema creates more creases on his palms (hyperlinear palms) than the average person so his hands look "old". But yeah I had to wonder HOW that kid came up with such a vulgar thing.
  • GingersnapGingersnap
    Posts: 9,696Member
    @theheadacheslayer>:D< 
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    “The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.” ― Joseph Campbell
  • SuperSarahGeeSuperSarahGee
    Posts: 62Member
    Man I'm going to sit down and do some thinking about this.  I recently had a friend from elementary school tell me, over facebook, that I had once said to him after he'd been berated for his weight, that I thought he was really brave and strong for having just tolerated it.  I told him that I didn't think I could be that brave.  This story made me feel good, in the preset day, about what influence I'd had on the people around me, because my own memory of my adolescence, anyway, was pretty rough.  In fact, I just wrote an essay about my experience at a summer camp that was all about inclusion... until it wasn't.  Feel free to read if you're interested:  Camp IN Club (at Quack Baby)
    http://www.quackbaby.com ... Think a little. Laugh a lot. If you don't like it, well, go quack yourself.