Confessing...
  • BellaBefanaBellaBefana
    Posts: 10,374Member
    I thought a long time about posting this and decided to send all the OMG, me too's to mine a hug.  Most of my confessions of late have been pretty dismal and depressing, most regarding finances, or lack there of, I've certainly bitched about it enough on threads.

    I'm not going to go into specific numbers, I'm that embarrassed by them, but yesterday I was looking at one from last week.  There were 39 OMG, me too's.  I cried, I simply hate with a passion as bright as the sun that there are other parents in a position where I never dreamed I'd be and feeling as down in the dumps about it as I do.

    So.  HUGS TO ALL OF YOU.  You're in my thoughts and my prayers.  I think it's every parents' goal to provide a better life than they themselves had, no matter how good it was and my parents took very good care of us, I know I do and right now, that's just not happening for far too many of us.

    I pray that you all will have the kind of life you want for your children and that they deserve. 
    Bite me, cupcake!
  • RuralRebellionRuralRebellion
    Posts: 2,817Member
    Hugs to you too.  I've also complained a few time on the boards about how financially destitute we are right now, it's a struggle I never thought I'd know.  We both grew up with thrift shops and struggles, but together we never thought we'd get quite as bad as we are now.  It's a horrible feeling to be sinking and unable to get up and gasp for air.  Every time we think we see the surface, something else happens to throw us right back in the deeps.  

    Today for example, we get our baby bonus money tomorrow, but our electricity is going to be cut off the next day if we don't pay it.  Money is gone before we even see it.

    I hope for everyone in this situation that the sunshine breaks through the clouds, even for a little while, so we can all pick ourselves up and be able to move on.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Most everyone's mad here. You may notice that I'm not all there myself.
  • MomaFive
    Posts: 1,539Member
    I was so excited last week because (as a manager) I was given a "bonus" on my paycheck - $500. Do you know what kind of relief an extra $500 is when you're living paycheck to paycheck? OMG I was elated. But, that same day some jackass pulled out infront of me (I had the right of way). In order to miss a collision I slammed on my breaks, hard. :o( Shortly after that my breaks made this horrible grinding noise, and as I breaked to turn a corner the fucking things locked on. To the repair shop I went. $839 later... there goes my bonus, there goes bill money too. Well, bills still need to be paid, and that leads to a dip into grocery money. With a family of 5, me pregnant, and DH on & off medical leave due to his bloodpressure... that $839 bill was like a kick to the lady-regions 
    All I could think was "why the hell am I bringing more kids into this mess?"

    Sometimes when I'm in that mood - the confession boards are my only light. As sad as I am to know other people out there are stuck and hurting like me/us - I'm glad to know I'm not alone. Something like "well, at least not everyone else has shit always handed to them, happy to know I'm not the only one living this way"

  • BirdieBirdie
    Posts: 2,377Member
    I couldn't believe the omg me too's on a confession I posted yesterday. I live all of you ladies and I'm praying for you!

    SMSM_s_5

  • HorridWenchHorridWench
    Posts: 702Member
    >:D< all!!!
    "She Dances in a Ring of Fire and Throws Off the Challenge, With a Shrug" - Jim Morrison
  • RuralRebellionRuralRebellion
    Posts: 2,817Member
    Hugs @MomaFive  Story of my life.  I was actually ELATED the last time DH got into an accident, because it was so much the other guy's fault that he got charged.  It meant FOR ONCE we weren't going to have to pay deductible, get screwed on rates, AND got a brand spankin new (16km on odometer) rental for a week.  It's really sad when you find out your DH has been in a car accident and you're more worried about the cost than whether or not anyone was hurt.

    But then insurance changed our rates anyways because it made them notice we had moved.  And apparently you can move 10 blocks and your rates go up.  Fucking bullshit.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Most everyone's mad here. You may notice that I'm not all there myself.
  • KrabbyKay
    Posts: 5,914Member
    I made a confession and there are a bucketload of OMG Me Too-ses on mine as well. HUGGLES to ALL you betches that feel like that!!
    And to youse above me too!!!
  • gramalibbygramalibby
    Posts: 3,744Member
    Yes , tomorrow is food pantry day , no we should have not gone away , had some home drink food , but crap crap crap we never go and it was DH hubby's 65 th ........I need my car 375 bucks is a biggie , next weeks pay ck is gone for the car , yes IKEA was a real luxury . We really did in retrospect get needed items minus Glens items . I am not sorry we went so there !!!! Actually , if we could not go Ron would tell me and that would be it . So I guess the word we streachhhhhhhedddd it. Also sometimes you just do it.....we had fun....
  • shouldcleanshouldclean
    Posts: 2,808Member
    We are in the same boat. Hugs to you @BellaBefana and every one else. It really sucks when you take one step forward and five steps back.
  • PurpleFlowersPurpleFlowers
    Posts: 6,043Member
    Big hugs to all of you / us who are going through shit right now. >:D<
    Stay away from my chocolate and nobody gets hurt!

    I think I like who I am becoming...
  • WhoDatIsWhoDatIs
    Posts: 1,453Member
    I cry way too much over the reality of my life resulting from being completely broke. I don't even qualify for cash assistance anymore and I don't know what else to do. 

    HUGS for every mommy who feels the way I do. 


    You and me, we go way back.
  • MollyGrahamMollyGraham
    Posts: 1,446Member

    >:D<  for all. I know the feeling. DH's business has been going steadily downhill since Nov. and it looks like we might have to either close it or declare bankruptcy. If we close it, that means he's out of work and I don't know how long it would take him to find something else. Not to mention that we used my retirement money and our son's college fund to buy the damn thing in the first place. Sucky and scary.


    Hey, anybody want to buy a bar?

    :D
    Normal people never change the world.
  • KeepstaringKeepstaring
    Posts: 2,086Member
    >:D<
    Same here, we have a s**tload of taxes due and no idea how we are going to pay them. Never thought we would be in that situation. Every month I hope there is light at the end of the bankacount, but alas.
    “Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.”
    ― Albert Einstein
  • LesboMomLesboMom
    Posts: 3,812Confessional Manager
    I am so glad this was not another thread dedicated to complaining about confessions not getting posted!!!

    I am so sorry that you are in the situation you are in - and that at least 39 others people are, too. 

    I hate when I see heart wrenching confessions and there are ANY OMG Me, too clicks 

    confessional-manager

    Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see a shadow. -- Helen Keller
  • meandmy243meandmy243
    Posts: 9,474Member
    Money is tight and i heard a rumor that they are going to take fed min wage up to 9.00 an hour... cost of luving expencies will go up outta the roof if that happens.. we already get 9.19 here an hour min wage and you cant live on it at all.. i wish the college day care was hiring again so i could get back on.. 12.14 an hour helps alot.. but tgey are over staffed as usual.. rest of the daycares pay minwage and 16 hours a week.
    let them eat cake! because id rather have pie!!!
  • BellaBefanaBellaBefana
    Posts: 10,374Member
    @meandmy243:  yeah, I loved how the president seems to think that $9 will solve everyone's problems...I made $9/hour over 20 years ago and it wasn't enough then, I can't imagine trying to do it with a child...
    Bite me, cupcake!
  • Lakegirl34
    Posts: 2,814Member
    We are struggling financially as well right now but for different reasons (unexpectedly paying for my dad's funeral, paying medical bills for current pregnancy, unexpected increase, etc). Anyway, I get overwhelmed, scream, cry, and feel hopeless at times. I just want to add my hugs.
    And @bellabefana I've always admired your kind, intelligent, helpful, calm responses to me and others on the board as well as your sense of humor. I feel we are kindred spirits as "older moms". I hope that things improve soon, and please feel free to PM if you need to vent. >:D<
  • WickedDunkieJunkieWickedDunkieJunkie
    Posts: 8,649Member
    @MomaFive try to think of it this way, had you not gotten that $500 bonus, that guy probably world have still cut you off...you still would have heard your brakes grinding.
    Thank GOD you had that extra $500... because otherwise you'd have had to go to the garage without it. Yanno?

    Daniel & I should have been getting back almost $2,000 from the IRS... but they took it instead. Rather than us continuing making payments to the IRS every month to pay the back taxes that we owe.
    We're getting only $90 from it. I would have liked to have that $$ because we NEED a second car, but I just try to think of it as, at least we no longer have that monthly bill. Or have it hanging over is that we owed the IRS.

    WDJ_Avatar_zps4536679b
    We Are The Music Makers... And We Are The Dreamers Of Dreams...

  • pinkmama
    Posts: 29Member

    Without sounding condescending, what is the best way to help people in this situation?  Some have more, some have less.  It is our responsibility to provide those with less.  But how do I do this?  None of you are standing on a street corner where I can physically help.

     

    Prayers for everyone.

  • Newb
    Posts: 256Member

    Without sounding condescending, what is the best way to help people in this situation?  Some have more, some have less.  It is our responsibility to provide those with less.  But how do I do this?  None of you are standing on a street corner where I can physically help.

     

    Prayers for everyone.



    Donate to Scary Mommy Nation. Or, donate to your local women's shelters. It is very kind of you to want to help.

    Bellabefana, this was a fantastic post.
  • WickedDunkieJunkieWickedDunkieJunkie
    Posts: 8,649Member
    pinkmama said:

    Without sounding condescending, what is the best way to help people in this situation?  Some have more, some have less.  It is our responsibility to provide those with less.  But how do I do this?  None of you are standing on a street corner where I can physically help.

     

    Prayers for everyone.



    @pinkmama
    You may not be able to help THESE particular women, (unless you donate to SMN & they receive a payout) you can help others in your local area by donating to your local food pantry. If there is a BOGO sale at the store, give the *get one* to the food pantry etc.

    If you have a friend that you know may be having troubles... invite her & her family to dinner. Believe me, when I was broke, knowing I didn't have to make dinner that ONE night...

    There's a lot of little things you can do.

    WDJ_Avatar_zps4536679b
    We Are The Music Makers... And We Are The Dreamers Of Dreams...

  • Zooy
    Posts: 167Member
    Lots of hugs going around. We hit the bottom of our barrel in September and have been working with a trustee to try and sort ourselves out. I aim to not live paycheque to paycheque (seems impossible with one of us working in radio and the other at McDonalds) but it would be nice just to have fall back money.
  • BellaBefanaBellaBefana
    Posts: 10,374Member
    I'm very lucky in that my mom can and is helping me. Doesn't make it any less embarrassing that at MY age, my retired mother needs to help me. I spent 20 years building my career all I want is to be back to work.

    As for helping? SMN, food banks, your church, St Vincent de Paul are all great ways to help. SMN helps the moms here that we talk to everyday and have gotten to know.
    Bite me, cupcake!
  • WickedDunkieJunkieWickedDunkieJunkie
    Posts: 8,649Member
    I understand that @BellaBefana.
    If it was just Daniel & I, we would be doing great . But, my dad, my dear wonderful retired dad, helps out so much because of my ex & I needing help financially with the kids.
    And, I just did his taxes tonight. He really can't afford to.
    I work because of my children, because they are MY responsibility, not Daniel's.
    Until we get a 2nd car, my dad driving me back & forth to work is a godsend.
    If they need anything, & neither I nor their father can provide it, Grampa is there for them.

    WDJ_Avatar_zps4536679b
    We Are The Music Makers... And We Are The Dreamers Of Dreams...

  • MsAsdy
    Posts: 246Member
    I'm so glad I read this. It nearly brought me to tears. The past three weeks DH and I have had nothing. It's killing me to try to explain to DD4 why we have no food and why I can't just find her a snack that she wants. Luckily DD1 is off formula...but still on diapers. And we've got money coming back from taxes but have to pay the utilities to keep them from getting turned off, pay the backpayments on DH's car that we owe for the past six months and lord knows who else. Hugs to you all. This isn't a fun place to be in the slightest. And without sounding wrong...I'm glad I'm not facing this alone.
  • Luvlyssa
    Posts: 2,744Member
    *hugs* to all of you.... it's rough.... it's good to have others who understand (and bad at the same time) I'm so sorry for all of you... I wish we could all magically be above the poverty line and not worry about feeding ourselves, let alone your children. There IS some help.... it's just that there are so many in need you have to hit it at the right time :( 

    I love you all so much.... you're all so amazing. I'm grateful to have you in my life.
    Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming. What do we do? We swim, swim.
  • RuralRebellionRuralRebellion
    Posts: 2,817Member

    Without sounding condescending, what is the best way to help people in this situation?  Some have more, some have less.  It is our responsibility to provide those with less.  But how do I do this?  None of you are standing on a street corner where I can physically help.

     

    Prayers for everyone.



    Donate to food banks.  Since we've had to use ours so much lately, I promise that if I ever get out of this hole, I will give back to them as much as I can.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Most everyone's mad here. You may notice that I'm not all there myself.
  • Ariel
    Posts: 4Member
    I think I found a "home".  I have a group of girls that I talk to online, however, most of them are SAHM by choice.  They really don't understand really financially struggling.  They think they do.  But when your electric is shut off or you take your kid to the food pantry so you don't look so pathetic, you can't decide which to do buy milk or gas with the last $5 you have - that is struggling.  It sucks more than anything else I've ever had to go through, esp with kids.  Hugs to you all.
  • MomaFive
    Posts: 1,539Member
    @WickedDunkieJunkie oh I am super well aware that it definitely could have happened at a less ideal time - and I've been there too - day before my wedding I got run off the road by some asshole and had to replace my tire & tire rod (leaving less money in the acct & resulting in us not having $$ for my hair/makeup the next day)
    I was basically just giving an example as @RuralRebellion had said : money is spent before you even get it.. gone before you know it 

    Damned monies!

    HUGS AND LOVES TO ALL S.M. WHO HAVE EVER HAD TO LIVE PAYCHECK TO PAYCHECK AND NOT KNOWING HOW YOU'LL FEED THE KIDS TMR!

    @Ariel - when we first moved to town DH and I were dead set on making it on our own. But we would live for 2 wks on $60 to buy groceries and sometimes less. Our kids have lived on powdered milk, cold oatmeal (just the oats with powdered milk - reconstituted) and frozen peas w/ichiban noodles over and over night after night - and that's when we had good money. My bff is a SAHM and I'm super jealous of her some days because she has this unreal financial stability and never worries about making sure her kids are fed (her hubs is an amazing man with a great job). Somewhat annoying when I'm budgeting $6 until payday (in 7 days) and know I have countless things I need to pick up between then and now. Hugs to you & welcome to Scary Mommy! <3 we all understand where you're at and are here to lean on and listen if you ever need be....
  • jewels67jewels67
    Posts: 17Member
    Ladies, I went to bed praying for each and everyone of you that feel the desperation.  I have been there, and then I wasn't for many years and *bam* am now in the last 2 years "dumped"--a single mom (of 2 beautiful daughters!) after nearly 20 years of marriage...so am teetering on that edge again.  Want to know what got/gets me through?  I am blessed to be surrounded by family and I know that sadly not everyone has that, but let those that WANT to help, help you.  I know, I know, I KNOW--it SUCKS to need help, ask for help, etc. (Been there!) 
                                                                                                                                                       But here is how I had to set my thinking (and it took awhile and some pride swallowing believe me!)   .... 1) I would do it (help) for someone and  2) I WILL do it for someone when I can and 3) There are people/organizations that thrive to and want to help others that need it, what right do I have to deny them that gift that they want to share?  THAT is what gets me through the shitty low-down times.  Last year, my first Christmas as a single mom, some angel sent me a $50 giftcard to our local grocery store. Imagine my thrill (and all the tears) to know that someone cared.  I never did find out who it was. Guess what I did this year though?  I paid it forward to a fellow co-worker that is struggling horribly with four kids, on her own.  

    We are all in this TOGETHER.  Hang in there.  I know it sucks and I have a hard time counting my blessings on some days still.