• CirceCirce
    Posts: 2Member
    first off, hi. i go by dani. i'm 22. i was recently divorced; four years together, two of those married. he is exactly 21 years older than me. that all aside, i have a lovely daughter, one of the few things he did for me. i find myself in another relationship very soon after my separation. he is a great guy. he loves me. my exh was verbally and emotionally abusive, almost physical - he pulled a knife on me, but i left before he actually touched me. he was an alcoholic. i come from generations of abused women; i want the best for my daughter.

    now it comes down to what i do about now. i love the bf; he is much closer in age to me, 27. we moved relatively fast, and now i can't back out, though i'm balking a bit at the sudden talk of babies and marriage and everything else. i told myself i didn't want any other babies by anyone except the exh.....and now....now i cant keep that promise. or i don't feel i can. i also am still wretchedly in love with the exh. we separated july 2012. i lost a baby by him in june due to the stress he put me through. i have never forgiven myself for that. on top of all this, i've been diagnosed with EDNOS, depression, anxiety disorder, and pending bipolar. i dont think i should be a mother again, let alone a girlfriend.

    im so lost.
  • TheMomFactorTheMomFactor
    Posts: 5,092Member
    I think it was right to leave. And, yes, way too soon to be talking babies and marriage with the new guy. Tell him that you want to slow down and take things easy, that you aren't ready to take any drastic steps right now. If he can't understand that, then he isn't the guy you should be seeing. *hugs* Starting over is hard, and you'll always love your exh, because you have a daughter together. I still love my xh, we have two sons, but I could never be with him again. And that's okay. Chin up, lady. Things will start looking up.
    "Anybody remotely interesting is mad in some way."-The Seventh Doctor

    "One may tolerate a world of demons for the sake of an angel."
  • mamafinmamafin
    Posts: 892Member
    You are still so young, you have many years to have another baby if you want. Just focus on you and your DD, and if your BF can't understand that you want and need to slow things down, he's not the right guy for you. You've been thru a lot in a short time.

    You sound like a smart woman and a good mom.

    Hugs!
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  • SurferMom
    Posts: 49Member
    After my divorce, I was super wary of the Rebound Relationship. Take care of YOU, not a man, and make sure YOU are happy and healthy. Men are replaceable (sorry, but they are), but children are not. Bless your heart, my thoughts and prayers are with you.