CONSTANT crying
  • Greekgirl1616
    Posts: 11Member
    Any advice PLEASE!! My son is almost fifteen months old and constantly cries. Literally about eighty five to ninety percent of the day. I am at my wits end and do not know how much more if it I can take. Shitty mother that I am. I actually screamed at him that I f- ing hated him and wish he had never been born. Any suggestions, thoughts, relatable stories. Anything that can preserve my sanity and/ or shut him the hell up
  • GingersnapGingersnap
    Posts: 9,696Member
    See his pediatrician - he shouldn't be crying that much. check for bowel problems, allergies, sensory defensiveness... I don't know what else. How long has he been this fussy?

    Get yourself a break. You need some time away before you completely snap. 

    O, and by the way - you can relax a bit - so much of this motherhood gig does *not* come naturally and we do not have unlimited wells of patience just because we squeezed a kid out. 
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    “The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.” ― Joseph Campbell
  • undercoverbanana
    Posts: 12,609Member
    is this something new? Or on going? If he is cutting molars, they for fucking ever. Give him some baby Tylenol and see what happens. When they have been crying a while, it makes them sick and gives them a headache. He may have tummy issues, too. Is he eating much? Is he drooly and slightly feverish (when not screaming). What else is going on with him? What sets him off?
    i'm nekkid.
  • GingersnapGingersnap
    Posts: 9,696Member

    is this something new? Or on going? If he is cutting molars, they for fucking ever. Give him some baby Tylenol and see what happens. When they have been crying a while, it makes them sick and gives them a headache. He may have tummy issues, too. Is he eating much? Is he drooly and slightly feverish (when not screaming). What else is going on with him? What sets him off?



    O yeah. Teething. DERP.
    image
    “The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.” ― Joseph Campbell
  • eappleeapple
    Posts: 1,997Member
    That is a lot of crying! Hugs mama.

    But we need some more details. Why is he crying? Is he just whining and being petty or is he crying because something is wrong? Has he always been this much of a cryer?
    And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music. ~Nietzsche
  • GingersnapGingersnap
    Posts: 9,696Member
    Maybe baby ibuprofen? It's less taxing on the liver I've heard.
    image
    “The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.” ― Joseph Campbell
  • momofdbbmomofdbb
    Posts: 10,900Member
    See if his ears are bothering him . Or teeth ? It seems a bit much. I would check with his dr.
    " Wibbly wobbly timey wimey ......." The Doctor
    " I'm a leafe on the wind..watch how I soar ." Wash :((
    " Oh the wall had it comming.' Sherlock Holmes
    yea I am geek !!
  • momofdbbmomofdbb
    Posts: 10,900Member
    Oh and don't be hard on yourself about getting mad at him. That's normal and aththe age he is he will not remember it when he is older !
    " Wibbly wobbly timey wimey ......." The Doctor
    " I'm a leafe on the wind..watch how I soar ." Wash :((
    " Oh the wall had it comming.' Sherlock Holmes
    yea I am geek !!
  • KellynnKellynn
    Posts: 2,284Member
    There has got to be something physically wrong with him that is causing all that crying. It is not normal, especially at that age. I would take him to his pediatrician asap. Poor little guy has to be miserable over something.
  • Greekgirl1616
    Posts: 11Member
    He has alwAys been a crier. He has seen three different pediatrician and they all say the same thing. Say there is nothing wrong with him, that he just has severe separation anxiety. Hubby and I thought he might have gluten intolerance but his blood work came back normal.

    When he stays with either grandparents they. All report he is an angel. No constant crying or anything, but the moment he sees me the tears begin and they just don't stop. Even holding him does not always help. Still cries. My oldest was never like this.
  • Greekgirl1616
    Posts: 11Member
    I feel like I must have done something or am doing something wrong but like I mentioned I have a three year old and he was never like this
  • JustJulia
    Posts: 86Member
    Find out what they are doing that your not, they might be nursing/holding him 24/7 when he is them.
    I had to tell my mother to leave our child alone unless she needs to be picked up for something.
  • Greekgirl1616
    Posts: 11Member
    I have asked them and they say he will sit and play contentedly. He will fuss and cry when I drop him off but shortly after they say he is just fine
  • Greekgirl1616
    Posts: 11Member
    Thank you ladies! Leopardgirle - he will play by himself or with his brother first thing in the morning. Usually right after he eats a meal he is good for twenty minutes or so. He will play with me and is happy as long as I am in the room with him. But the moment I leave all hell breaks loose
  • Greekgirl1616
    Posts: 11Member
    He is like that in big gatherings (either at our house or somewhere else) which I can understand, but when we are home and it is just us I cannot understand it
  • RosamundiRosamundi
    Posts: 1,412Member
    Huge hugs! I don't have any advice, really, but you have my support. <3
  • meandmy243meandmy243
    Posts: 9,474Member
    Is there a toybor stuffed animal that you can make yours for a few days and give it to him.. it still smells like you.
    let them eat cake! because id rather have pie!!!
  • Greekgirl1616
    Posts: 11Member
    We tried doing that with a 'lovey' type monkey and his brother became more attached to it. Thank you though!
  • Strawberry
    Posts: 504Member
    I agree with @leopardgirle, my ds was the same! He would cry as soon as I put him down just to get some water and be right back in front of him! I know it's hard but I just let him CIO, in a way that he could see me in the room and i would sooth him with words only, without carring him, or I would go to another room and talk to him from there until he found me, and when he did it was like a game of peek a boo. he is now like a tail on a dog with me! He will go everywhere in the house with me....EVERYWHERE! It took some time, actually I think more than a month but he got used to it, I also entertain him with music, he loves music so when he starts going crazy I turn on pandora and he chills! :) just be patient he will grow out of this soon!
  • undercoverbanana
    Posts: 12,609Member
    Lets think about this. @gingersnap has a good point. What sets him off, and what soothes him? Because molars or not....he might be whiney and fussy and bitchy and crying, Maybe even chomping things in frustration, but not screaming. What time of day is he happy? what's going on when he is happy? Lets start there. is it whiney fussy crying, or ear splitting screaming? Or wailing?
    i'm nekkid.
  • GingersnapGingersnap
    Posts: 9,696Member
    Okay. He cries 85 to 90 percent if the time he is awake *with just you*? but not when he first wakes up, not for 20 minutes after a meal, not when you're playing with him, and not after he's adjusted to being in the care of someone else? So, if you play with him, he's okay, but if you just hold him he cries? Is he demanding to be engaged? When starts crying can he be distracted or soothed?
    image
    “The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.” ― Joseph Campbell
  • TheHeadacheslayer
    Posts: 2,472Member
    Check with the foods your parents give him vs what he's eating at home. And goodness honey, lots of crying sets me off like nothing else!!

    Off the top of my head--tummy issues, food sensitivities, teething (that was a 4 letter word in our house), ears (my sons ears NEVER hurt when he has an infection), easing into a new milestone (like a growthspurt or frustration at not being able to talk yet).

    Damn handbook got lost for my kids too. And yeah I dropped the f bomb quite a bit. Hang in there mama!!! Try some soothing music in the background--for both of you! *HUGS*
  • Greekgirl1616
    Posts: 11Member
    DH thinks its frustration with not being able to communicate. I think he just sucks. I have tried doing things in same room with him and walking away but still talking to him but I did not do it for a month. After week or ten days I just got so frustrated with results. He does this ear splitting,makes you want to jump out a window, screaming bullshit. When he is screaming he also lashes out with his hands and does this face raking thing to me that makes me batty. When he is happy he is just the sweetest most adorable and cutest little baby and I feel such insane guilt for having such horrid thoughts about him.
  • GritsGrits
    Posts: 4,370Member
    Don't feel bad, mama! Constant crying will drive a saint to swear!

    My oldest DD was like that for a little while. She eventually outgrew it and we never really knew what the deal was. My youngest was also like that for a couple of months, only not to that extreme. He really just wanted to be entertained. Everyone above me has pretty much suggested everything I would have. Hang in there mama! It will pass, I promise!
    "I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day, and I believe in miracles." ~Audrey Hepburn
  • just_mejust_me
    Posts: 1,035Member
    Oh man! ((((HUGS)))))) I feel for ya...I know what its like to have a small baby cry all the time and that is frustrating but fairly normal. Having a toddler cry all the time has to be even harder! Just remember that you may not be able to make him stop and PLEASE PLEASE put him somewhere safe and step outside if you need a minute. No shame in that! Good luck... (((hugs))))
    I can't be perfect all the time...so give it up already!
  • beambeam
    Posts: 1,579Member
    My DD who is 17 months went through a few crying/whining phases. One was "dolphin phase" (annoying high pitched shit), the "car alarm" phase around 14-15 months (shut it off!) and very recently the worst, the highest loudest most painful ear bursting noise you could (but most here have heard) imagine.... she knows she goes directly to her crib for a few minutes when these "tantrums" happen so they don't happen much any more at all. When we are out and about, or now at home, she'll only getting whiny when she is hungry or thirsty. BUT *I believe* there are phases that you have to set limits and boundaries:  "no I will not pick you up if you are whining" and stick to your guns... or tell them, if you don't stop you're going to your crib... and if they don't, off they go, later you get to say "crib?" and they stop.... I imagine it is all a part of testing our reactions them being mostly non-verbal... but yeah I wondered what my neighbors were thinking since she was crying a lot at times

    but it goes away...

    ...and will come back again and again

    ...until they leave the house

    .....no until, well, until forever.

    But hugs, and take breaks when you can.          
    A broken heart is a rite of passage and, looking back, I must have wanted one pretty badly. "Kick me," I demanded, and when somebody finally did, I burst like a cheap piñata. - DAVID SEDARIS
  • 3bluetulips3bluetulips
    Posts: 19Member
    I'm there with you lady. My 20 month old was recently doing the same thing. He was starting to get super fussy, crying for up to three hours a day, for no reason. Then he got the stomach flu, so I held him all the time, poor little guy, was too tired to cry. Then he got over it, and it was like he turned into a banshee, ear splitting screaming, face scrapping, stopping, kicking, hitting, little shit ever. I was like, WTF. It was horrible. My husband thought I was making it up. Then this weekend, he saw the truth. Thank God, I was thinking it was just me. The someone suggested, since he has the flu that he couldn't tolerate cows milk. We just took it out of his diet, even though he did not test for an allergy, and today was the best day we've had in months. He didn't cry all day, until Daddy got home. He's a very picky eater, I mean will go a whole day without eating, cause he don't like anything I give him. He will eat when he's hungry enough. So I guess what I'm trying to say, is I know what your feeling. I thought I was the worst Mom, and yes, I yelled at him, thought of tossing him out the window, cried with him, laid on the floor and just let him crawl over me. I hated every minute. One thing, we got him into speech therapy, and are teaching him sign language so that he can communicate with me, he doesn't do a lot of sounds. We are hoping this helps. Does your little once talk? Maybe he is just angry that can't tell you what he wants. Sending you lots of hugs lady, I so hope it gets better for you. Try diet and helping him communicate his needs.
    You are not a bad Mother, we all have these thoughts. I've told so many people, that it's good my kid is so cute, cause if he wasn't, he'd have been out on the street at like 6 months.
    The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don't have any. Alice Walker
    Always be a first rate version of yourself, instead of a second rate version of somebody else. Judy Garland
    Don't get comfortable with who you are at any given time - you may miss the opportunity to become who you want to be. Jon Bon Jovi
  • momofeveryonemomofeveryone
    Posts: 1,917Member
    how is he sleeping?
    i want a nap. and some chocolate. who's with me?!
  • Greekgirl1616
    Posts: 11Member
    Thank you ALL!! I have many options to try
  • SasafrasSasafras
    Posts: 1,627Member
    Dd has been a bit of a needy child, refusing to watch any tv, play by herself, I had to get really inventive, Tupperware with spoons so she could drum as much and she wants, don't forget the lids in case he wants to try putting them on and taking them off. A huge metal pot with a spoon, she also liked to sit in there. Put music on dance and sing. Crayons and tons of paper! Even finger paint. He maybe trying to get you to do something, and not communicating, which causes a lot of frustration