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knock, knock!
  • undercoverbanana
    Posts: 7,731Member

    what's the dumbest joke you know? or one that is so lame, everybody laughs, because they just can't help it?


    somebody else posted this a while ago, but i love it....and once had a parent /teacher conference over this stupid joke, because dd's teacher decided she was a very disturbed child, and was horrified that i laughed my ass off when she recited it back to me in that concerned "this is very serious" flat tone. and the very prim pursed little mouth with the implication "would you like to explain this?" expression annoyed me, too.


    how do you get a one armed clown out of a tree?


    hit him in the face with an axe.

    i'm nekkid.
  • fatchickonabikefatchickonabike
    Posts: 5,494Member

    Kock, knock.
    Who's there?
    Interrupting cow.
    Interrupting cow wh--
    MOO!

    "The most essential gift for a good writer is a built-in, shock-proof bullshit detector.” - Ernest Hemingway
  • undercoverbanana
    Posts: 7,731Member
    my kids loved that one!
    i'm nekkid.
  • Ashdawn684Ashdawn684
    Posts: 850Member
    How do you drown a dumb blond?

    Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool

    (No offense to my blond SMs both my aunts are blond so I heard a million jokes growing up)
    ~Live life to the fullest, or die trying~
  • BeerWenchBeerWench
    Posts: 2,820Member

    Kock, knock.
    Who's there?

    Banana

    Banana who?

    Kock, knock.
    Who's there?

    Banana

    Banana who?

    Kock, knock.
    Who's there?

    Banana

    Banana who?

    Kock, knock.
    Who's there?

    Banana

    Banana who?

    Kock, knock.
    Who's there?

    Banana

    Banana who?

    Kock, knock.
    Who's there?

    Orange

    Orange who?

    Orange you glad I didn't say Banana?

    :¦:-•:*'""*:•.-:¦:-•** She who leaves a trail of glitter is never forgotten**•-:¦:-•:*'""*:• -:¦:-
  • shouldcleanshouldclean
    Posts: 2,370Member
    Knock knock.
    Who's there?
    Boo
    Boo who?
    Don't cry its just a joke

    This is the favorite for ds5 and dd3
  • gramalibbygramalibby
    Posts: 2,629Member
    Make like a tree and leaf , ok no coffee yet !!!
  • momofdbbmomofdbb
    Posts: 9,074Member
    Knock knock

    Who's there ?

    Doctor

    Doctor who ?

    :-B Silence shall fall

    " Wibbly wobbly timey wimey ......." The Doctor
    " I'm a leafe on the wind..watch how I soar ." Wash :((
    " Oh the wall had it comming.' Sherlock Holmes
    yea I am geek !!
  • undercoverbanana
    Posts: 7,731Member

    knock knock!


    who's there?


    me.


    me who?


    no, really, it's me. i'm telling a knock knock joke.

    i'm nekkid.
  • RuralRebellionRuralRebellion
    Posts: 1,830Member
    fatchickonabike said:

    Kock, knock.
    Who's there?
    Interrupting cow.
    Interrupting cow wh--
    MOO!



    That's the one I was thinking about LOL

    I also just realized everyone is saying KOCK knock and it's making me giggle.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.
  • shouldcleanshouldclean
    Posts: 2,370Member
    This was popular when I was in elementary school.

    Want to hear a dirty joke?
    6 white horses fell in the mud.
  • WickedDunkieJunkieWickedDunkieJunkie
    Posts: 5,849Member
    What did the daddy tomato say to his son that was falling behind?

    C'mon... catch up... (Ketchup)
    WDJ_Avatar_zps4536679b
    We Are The Music Makers... And We Are The Dreamers Of Dreams...

  • GingersnapGingersnap
    Posts: 7,293Member
    My friends and I put on a performance about puns. It was basically just a play on words. 
    image
  • MarySunshineMarySunshine
    Posts: 5,446Member
    A pirate walks into a bar with the ship's wheel in front of him. The bartender says, "Eh, Pirate, you know you brought the ship's wheel with you right?" The Pirate says, "Arrrr! It's driving me nuts!"

    :ar!
    I'm as sexy as a burp mid-kiss. Watch out!

  • MarySunshineMarySunshine
    Posts: 5,446Member
    A brunette, a red-head and a blonde were in jail when they decided to break out. The girls broke out and the brunette said, "Let's hide in that barn, they'll never find us."
    So they climed up the ladder and then the blonde threw it down.
    The next morning, the cops said, "Come out with your hands in the air!"
    The red-head said, "Hide in those baskets, they'll never find us!"
    So the Brunette got in the first one, the red-head got in the second one and the blonde got in the third one. Meanwhile, the cops were getting a ladder set up and trying to get up there. Once they got up, the seargent ordered them to kick the baskets.
    So the cop kicked the first one: "RUFF."
    "It's just a damn dog!" yelled the cop.
    The cop kicked the next one: "MEOW."
    "It's just a damn cat," yelled the cop.
    The cop kicked the next basket and the blonde yelled, "POTATOES!"
    I'm as sexy as a burp mid-kiss. Watch out!

  • shate98shate98
    Posts: 2,804Member
    What's white and black and red all over?
    A newspaper

    What's white and black and red all over?
    A nun falling down the stairs

    How do you make a hanky dance?
    put a little boogie in it

    How do you know a blonde has a blonde boyfriend?
    She has bruises all over her belly button

    "As you wander through your life, whatever be your goal,
    keep your eye upon the doughnut, not upon the hole."
  • rockmomrockmom
    Posts: 286Member
    There was a family of moles. The daddy came out of the mole hill and yelled back "Mommy mole, look! Come and see what I see!"
    The mommy mole came out. She yelled back into the hole "daughter mole, look! Come and see what we see!"
    The daughter mole came out. She yelled back into the hole "Brother mole, look! Come and see what we see!"
    The brother mole came out. He yelled back into the hole "Baby mole, look! Come and see what we see!"
    The baby mole came out, and looked around, puzzled. He said "What do you see? All I see is molasses!"



    Bahaha. My mom told me that when I was like ten, and I almost lost it because my mom said "asses".
    That's all I've got, unless you want to hear corny rock jokes. I give my geology students extra credit every now and then if they write rock jokes on their papers for me, so I've got an arsenal of those. :D 
    tripp175a
  • djbillie
    Posts: 23Member
    Whats green and smells like Miss Piggy?

    Kermit the Frogs finger

    Makes me laugh everytime!!
  • DinoDangerDinoDanger
    Posts: 428Member
    What'd the fish say when it ran into a brick wall?

    Dam.
    Our integrity sells for so little, but it is all we really have. It is the very last inch of us, but within that inch, we are free. - V for Vendetta
    I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night. - The Old Astronomer, Sarah Williams
  • forkinthehead
    Posts: 480Member
    Haha! Someone already did the banana, orange knock knock joke. The only other joke I remember is this: What do you get when you cross a cabage patch doll with the pillsbury dough boy?

    An ugly little bitch with a yeast infection.
  • fulgurous2003fulgurous2003
    Posts: 189Member
    did you hear about the kidnapping?



    oh don't worry about it he woke up :)
    "Your children are not your children, they come through you, but they are life itself, wanting to express itself." - Wayne Dyer
  • fatchickonabikefatchickonabike
    Posts: 5,494Member

    What did the baby banana say to the mommy banana?


    I don't peel good.

    "The most essential gift for a good writer is a built-in, shock-proof bullshit detector.” - Ernest Hemingway
  • fulgurous2003fulgurous2003
    Posts: 189Member
    @rockmom i wanna hear the rock jokes my kids will love them 

    "Your children are not your children, they come through you, but they are life itself, wanting to express itself." - Wayne Dyer
  • pennypenny
    Posts: 802Member
    @Gingersnap I had to hug you b/c there's no Groan button. Well done.
  • GingersnapGingersnap
    Posts: 7,293Member
    @penny - thanks! 

    (attention @SAHM1020 & @Shate98 as well) Hey, did you see there's another Browncoat here? @Rachelh19 's signature is: "Jayne, your mouth is talking. You might wanna look to that. - Malcolm Reynolds"
    image
  • bendorbreak bendorbreak
    Posts: 475Member
    My dad taught me to tell this joke when i was super little. Memories :)

    How do you catch a polar bear?
    First you cut a big hole in the ice. Then you put peas all around the hole. When the bear comes to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole.
  • grumpymamma
    Posts: 29Member
    How do you make a tissue dance?
    Put a little boogie in it.
  • DinoDangerDinoDanger
    Posts: 428Member
    @Gingersnap Yep definitely a Browncoat ;)  DH wants to name the baby Inara if it's a girl, haha!  I'm not so sure on that but one of my top names for a boy is Malcolm Flynn (the Flynn is for Tron ;)).  We're geeks... We embrace it :D
    Our integrity sells for so little, but it is all we really have. It is the very last inch of us, but within that inch, we are free. - V for Vendetta
    I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night. - The Old Astronomer, Sarah Williams
  • DemandaDemanda
    Posts: 4,467Member
    I made this one up in grade 2 all by myself. I remember it because no one but me thought it was funny. I told my son when he was like 5 and he didn't laugh either. I'm so misunderstood...

    Knock knock.

    Who's there?

    Cargo.

    Cargo who?

    Car go "beep beep" for the Easter Bunny.

    =)) =)) Classic.
    "The truth will set you free. But first, it will piss you off." ~ Gloria SteinemPhotobucket
  • GingersnapGingersnap
    Posts: 7,293Member
    Two cannibals are eating a clown. One turns to the other and says, "Does this taste funny to you?"
    image
  • VegantasticVegantastic
    Posts: 3,443Member
    Gingersnap said:

    @penny - thanks! 


    (attention @SAHM1020 & @Shate98 as well) Hey, did you see there's another Browncoat here? @Rachelh19 's signature is: "Jayne, your mouth is talking. You might wanna look to that. - Malcolm Reynolds"



    Browncoats unite!
    "Be the change you wish to see in the world"
    "Don't Panic"
  • dasnax
    Posts: 91Member
    Did you hear the one about the rope? Aw just skip it.

    How about the one about the roof? Nevermind it's over your head.

    Whats black and blue and in a ditch? A brunette that told one too many blonde jokes. (said in good fun of course)
  • Strawberry
    Posts: 298Member
    My hubs told this kne to mu dd8 she couldnt stop laughing!
    What animal eats with its tail??
    All of them! Because they don't take it off to eat! :o3 :@) :(|) :D
  • momofdbbmomofdbb
    Posts: 9,074Member
    SAHM1020 said:

    Gingersnap said:

    @penny - thanks! 


    (attention @SAHM1020 & @Shate98 as well) Hey, did you see there's another Browncoat here? @Rachelh19 's signature is: "Jayne, your mouth is talking. You might wanna look to that. - Malcolm Reynolds"



    Browncoats unite!




    Yeah !!!! Browncoats !!!!!!!
    " Wibbly wobbly timey wimey ......." The Doctor
    " I'm a leafe on the wind..watch how I soar ." Wash :((
    " Oh the wall had it comming.' Sherlock Holmes
    yea I am geek !!
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