Im sorry I'm wasting space. ( long rant)
  • Bubandsis
    Posts: 113Member
    First of all im sorry that this is long just need someone to talk to irl i have no one but my mom and shell just have me committed again for depression.Im at work right now bawling hard. First my df is an alcoholic just wont admit it he wont stop no matter what i say im last on his list when he drinks he treats me bad screams pushes me verbally abuses . I used to cheat on him its been while because i just want my kids happy . He always brings all the bad stuff up ive ever done yells at me for being bipolar i cant have friends but he can stay out all night who knows where. I feel like i cant leave because i dont my children to not have a dad i work full time so i can afford it but i cant stay away im so miserable depressed. Please people make me feel loved i know my sms can do help love yall guys.
  • CrashCrash
    Posts: 10,571Member
    Big hugs to you! You *are* loved, don't ever think you aren't.

    Why be a king when you can be a God?
  • BeerWenchBeerWench
    Posts: 2,819Member
    (((hugs))) I'm sorry you are having to deal with this while you are at work.  Know that you are loved and that your children love you.
    :¦:-•:*'""*:•.-:¦:-•** She who leaves a trail of glitter is never forgotten**•-:¦:-•:*'""*:• -:¦:-
  • kittykisses80kittykisses80
    Posts: 1,012Member
    ~big hugs~ keep pushing through the storm. There's a happy ending somewhere. Your doing good keepin strong for your lo's. Your loved!!! Remember that.
  • VegantasticVegantastic
    Posts: 4,225Member

    >:D< >:D< >:D<  Bipolar is no joke- Your hubs should be supportive not making you feel bad for something you can't help. Stay strong mama and we're here for you!

    "Be the change you wish to see in the world"
    "Don't Panic"
  • katz_meowkatz_meow
    Posts: 6,380Member
    Big Big hugs!!! You are loved, we will be here for you. If you need help figuring out how to leave, if you need a shoulder to lean on, if you need anything at all. We are here.
    There is nothing to be gained from treating others poorly.

    Don't be a dick.
  • Lulu
    Posts: 279Member

    Isn't your children not having a dad better than them having an alcoholic, abusive one? He screams at you, pushes you, and gets abusive...how long until one of the kids gets in the way and gets pushed or worse? If he can hit you, he can hit his child.


    You and your children both deserve happiness, but first and foremost you deserve safety. In the situation you described, neither yourself nor your children are safe.

  • momofdbbmomofdbb
    Posts: 10,900Member
    I agree with @Lulu it's not safe. Hugs you are not a waste of space ! You are a mommy ! As I have heard ( not sure if this is exactly right or not but it's close to the quote ) Mother is the name of God on the lips and hearts of children. " meaning mom is most important to the kids ! That's you !!!
    " Wibbly wobbly timey wimey ......." The Doctor
    " I'm a leafe on the wind..watch how I soar ." Wash :((
    " Oh the wall had it comming.' Sherlock Holmes
    yea I am geek !!
  • deviltwinsmommadeviltwinsmomma
    Posts: 2,743Member
    sweetheart, there is help out there! don't let this guy get the best of you. you are so much better than this.
    trust me this will get worse, first it's pushing you around, then its slapping you around, and you know where it goes from that. you don't want your kids to see this.
    please sweetheart, if this man is not making you happy there are a ton of men that are out there that are willing to take his place. TRUST ME!
    my mother used to sing me a song. It went like this: "Life is short, life is shit, and soon it will be over.
  • Bubandsis
    Posts: 113Member
    Thanks yall. He is a good dad and he keeps all his meanness behind closed door s when their asleep if i come up with any bruises he says i freaked out on him and he restrained me but i couldn't hurt a fly and would rather sleep before 9 than stay up and fight
  • sunnymommasunnymomma
    Posts: 2,171Member
    Listen to lulu and devilstwinmomma read it over and over and over until it makes sense. I know you understand what they are saying, but sometimes you have to keep reading it until it clicks. Its so much better on the other side with out an alcoholic daddy, it really is. I know its all to much to think about at once, but one thing at a time and you will figure this out and be happy. Then you will wonder what took you so long!!! My Exhubby was a bad alcoholic, I stayed way to long so DD would have a father figure(he wasnt her dad) and I regret every second she spent around him no matter how much they loved each other. She is better off I am better off and ya know what? Ex hubby is waaaaaaay better off, I still keep silent tabs on him because at one point I was head over heals in love with the douchetard, he is better, not sober, but way fricken better and he is happy. YOU ARE NOT A WASTE OF SPACE.  heres a tissue, splash some cold water on your face and lets figure out what you want. hugs momma 
    I am me, and I am loved
  • Lulu
    Posts: 279Member

    Honestly @bubandsis if you're not going to do it for yourself, do it for your kids. He keeps his meanness behind closed doors when they're asleep.


    Do your kids never get up to go to the bathroom, or get a drink at night? Unless your children are deaf, they probably know, and hear, more than you think.


    Be the kind of spouse and parent you want your kids to be. Would you want your daughter staying with her husband if he hit her and screamed at her? Would you tell your daughter to stick it out for her kids, or would you tell her to get the hell out?


    Would you want your son to follow in his dad's footsteps, using his dad as a role model? Would you think it's okay for your son to hit and scream at his wife, as long as it was behind closed doors? The cycle of abuse isn't pretend, it can be very real. By staying, and enabling, you are potentially setting your kids up to have similar relationships in the future.


    Look at yourself deep and hard and ask yourself if you really want this life for your children.


    I'm not trying to be mean about it but this really is a matter of safety and security.

  • Bubandsis
    Posts: 113Member
    i dont care about my safety anymore im in.such a dark place right now my daddy was the same way so im repeating my moms steps they stayed together through it all he just passed away in nov so leaving hurts even more.
  • Lulu
    Posts: 279Member

    I wasn't referring to your safety. I was referring to the safety of your children.


    You are responsible for the safety and well-being of your children. You're their mother. And as their mother, why are you denying them the chance for a happy and healthy future? Why do you want your children to continue this, when you can stop it right here, right now?


    Also, if anyone finds out about it, or your kids say anything at school, CPS can intervene and you can lose your children altogether. You're so worried about them not having a dad, what happens when they have neither a father OR a mother, and end up in foster care?

  • gramalibbygramalibby
    Posts: 3,744Member
    Start w finding and talking to someone who has been there stayed and then got sense and left . Think not of you but of the children and the example he projects Ie bruises cause I had to PLEASE  such an excuse.....If you decide to leave , plan if you can , put at a safe place clothes ect.....dont fly off the handle , plan a safe smooth exit , not always possible I know....We have resourses as to where to turn , some Scaries are great at this . You are special , there are those of us who love you surround you and have many hugs
  • GPAMomGPAMom
    Posts: 562Member
    Lulu said:

    Honestly @bubandsis if you're not going to do it for yourself, do it for your kids. He keeps his meanness behind closed doors when they're asleep.


    Do your kids never get up to go to the bathroom, or get a drink at night? Unless your children are deaf, they probably know, and hear, more than you think.


    Be the kind of spouse and parent you want your kids to be. Would you want your daughter staying with her husband if he hit her and screamed at her? Would you tell your daughter to stick it out for her kids, or would you tell her to get the hell out?


    Would you want your son to follow in his dad's footsteps, using his dad as a role model? Would you think it's okay for your son to hit and scream at his wife, as long as it was behind closed doors? The cycle of abuse isn't pretend, it can be very real. By staying, and enabling, you are potentially setting your kids up to have similar relationships in the future.


    Look at yourself deep and hard and ask yourself if you really want this life for your children.


    I'm not trying to be mean about it but this really is a matter of safety and security.



    I thought what @Lulu said was so important, I'd quote it so you could read it again. I'm sorry you're hurting and it's difficult. I hope it gets better for you and your children soon.

    **hugs**
  • Gianna
    Posts: 142Member
    Keep pushing momma. It's hard to figure out what's worse, an alcoholic father or the trauma of your parents separating. Maybe talk to your children. And know how they are feeling about what's going on. Maybe that can give you some clarity in what you need to do. I will keep you in my prayers tonight. That god may bring you and your children peace. This too will pass. Always put your children first. *hugs*
  • WickedDunkieJunkieWickedDunkieJunkie
    Posts: 8,649Member
    You are describing my life before my divorce.

    I don't know how old your children are... but my kids figured things out. The older ones at least.

    They know that their dad pushed me against walls, squeezed painfully on my arms/neck causing bruising... forced rough sex...

    He drank to the point that he blanked out... he didn't always have a recollection of what he did.


    He NEVER EVER touched the kids...
    But, I realized that he could have in one of his black outs...

    You have to do what is best for you & your children... please.
    WDJ_Avatar_zps4536679b
    We Are The Music Makers... And We Are The Dreamers Of Dreams...

  • CrashCrash
    Posts: 10,571Member
    You don't deserve that kind of treatment. No one does. You are a human being who deserves to be loved, and to be touched with love. You deserve all the best things in life, and that includes a husband who respects you and cares for you. Hugs.
    Why be a king when you can be a God?
  • Bubandsis
    Posts: 113Member
    Im staying with my momma for a break so I think have space let him realize what its like without us hopefully im strong enough.to stay away. Thanks everyone one step.at a time I guess
  • MarySunshineMarySunshine
    Posts: 7,953Member
    Yes, one step at a time. If you find yourself doubting your choice to go to your parents come back and reread this thread!

    My parents fought at night when they thought we were asleep. I heard *every* fight. It was never physically or emotionally abusive, but it was my parents yelling at each other. That was enough for me to figure out things weren't good between my parents, despite whatever smiles they wore the next morning.

    Break the cycle.
    "I don't poop. I create magic."- ABC

    I'm as sexy as a burp mid-kiss. Watch out!

    For every loser there's one that has to win. So bite your tongue, grit your teeth and grin...
  • deviltwinsmommadeviltwinsmomma
    Posts: 2,743Member
    HUGE (((((HUGS)))) sweet momma, stay strong girl. i have faith in you. :)
    my mother used to sing me a song. It went like this: "Life is short, life is shit, and soon it will be over.
  • GingerLynn
    Posts: 242Member
    Big hugs!!
  • undercoverbanana
    Posts: 12,609Member
    hugs. i'm sorry. your past does not justify him being a bastard, now.
    i'm nekkid.
  • tothemoonandbacktothemoonandback
    Posts: 3,934Member
    If you can, maybe find an Alanon meeting (it's for friends and family of alcoholics) and can teach you how to set boundaries and live with an alcoholic if you choose too.  I don' tknow who said it, but I always think of this quote, "it's better to come from a broken home than it is to live in one".  Hugs to you!!
    Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius, and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring. - Marilyn Monroe
  • Bubandsis
    Posts: 113Member
    thank everyone