Yours, Mine, and OURS??????
  • hotmess211
    Posts: 19Member
    My husband and i are both on our second marriages and we both have a child from our previous relationships... the thing is that he wants another baby so we have the yours, mine and ours family.. my son just turned 6 and is in kindergarten and his daughter is almost 4 and currently in preschool. We have sole custody of each child so we have 2 children full time already... i am on the 'no' side of having another baby but i see him stare at babies with a look in his eyes that makes me feel so guilty. And now just today, we found out very good friends of ours are pregnant with their second child.. i need help in my decision.. if we are going to do it think now is the time to start trying before our kids get much older... but i just dont know what that will do to our already full and busy family! Thoughts?!
  • DemandaDemanda
    Posts: 5,920Member
    Dude! We're trying to decide on this as well. Our kids are a lot older than yours, though. (13&9) *sigh* All I have to do is give the word and he'll impregnate me, as long as I finish school first. So... We could start trying in August I guess. I can't decide.

    Sorry, I guess that wasn't very helpful. If it was me, and my kids were that young, and I'm going to go out on a limb here and assume we're older than you (35&40), Id totally go for it. But really, only you can decide.
    "The truth will set you free. But first, it will piss you off." ~ Gloria SteinemPhotobucket
  • DemandaDemanda
    Posts: 5,920Member
    Oh, I should add, I adore my bonus daughter, but I never ever wanted to have only 1 baby. She was 9 when I met them so I sorta missed out on the little kid stuff, and I wish I hadn't.
    "The truth will set you free. But first, it will piss you off." ~ Gloria SteinemPhotobucket
  • serenitynowserenitynow
    Posts: 2,210Member
    Me and dh decided to have 1 more (well it started as let's try...) and ours are 8,7 & 5. I'm 34 and I thought I was getting old and it was now or regret not even trying. Dh and I agreed on a time period where if it didnt happen by we would be okay with not trying anymore. All of our older kids will be in school all day starting in fall so sometimes it's like what were we thinking starting over?!, but we're all excited and got 4.5 weeks,left!
  • undercoverbanana
    Posts: 12,609Member
    you are the one who will spend most of the time taking care of three kids. thik about it realistically, andmake sure HE is being realistic. remind him of the unpleasant baby stuff. colic. teething. middle of the night fevers. ear infections. all the booster shots. the hit your sex life is going to take. the hit your finances will take. etc. borrow a toddler for a weekend. i'm sure there is a mother of a toddler who needs a break. if he can't handle a toddler for the weekend, he doesn't need another baby. i babysat a beautiful and freakishly well behaved toddler for one day, and it cured my baby fever permanently.
    i'm nekkid.
  • gramalibbygramalibby
    Posts: 3,744Member
    All good advice , I will send good thought out vibes , u n he wrote out the good the bad the ugly and see what comes up. Communication is the key
  • somanyboysandmesomanyboysandme
    Posts: 361Member
    I brought 2 boys into our relationship. He had none so I had two more. My older boys were 8 & 6 when the first was born. It really wasn't that bad and they (well the8 yo) were helpful. It was kind of fun going through the baby stage again because I was older and it seemed a lot less stressful than the first two times.
  • RosamundiRosamundi
    Posts: 1,412Member
    As a child coming from a blended family, I would advise against it. Your kids have been through a lot of drama and had to share their bio parent's attention with not only new love interests but with another child as well. Bringing in another child to compete with, at least immediately, would be kind of unfair to your current children IMHO. They deserve a little less upheaval. And having an "ours" kid completely changes the parenting dynamic and makes it harder for the step parent to form relationships with the existing children.

    Sorry. I know this isn't what you wanted to hear, probably.

    I wish you well! No judgement on you, you do what's best for your family. :)
  • ChickieChickie
    Posts: 158Member
    If you want to wait? Wait. When we married my SSs were 4 & 6 and here full time. We decided to wait until they were older (the youngest starting high school) before having a baby. This worked for me since I was on the fence about it. :) LO is 14 mo now & her brothers adore her.

    sometimes karma needs a nudge
  • forkinthehead
    Posts: 482Member
    I have no clue though I do wish you luck on whatever you decide. It's a shame men can't get pregnant...
  • missmama5missmama5
    Posts: 6,874Member
    It's not the same, but dh &I are about to welcome our first child together. I have a soon from a previous relationship who dh loves and treats exactly as his own, and refers to him as his son not his step son. I cannot wait to see dh as a bio dad for the first time it's going to be an amazing thing, and it's so wonderful that we get to share this together. :) I hope you do decide whatever is right for you both!