If he fell off a fucking cliff, life would be so much better!
  • sidsmommy3sidsmommy3
    Posts: 2,522Member
    I fucking HATE the ex so much.

    You all know he stole my half of the retirement money.  He is in panic mode because the court date is coming up and he doesn't have the money to pay me back to avoid the contempt jail time.  

    Again...he is putting the kids in the middle.

    My oldest just called.  She is trying to go back to college.  I can't afford to help.  I don't have that kind of money.  Way back when......when she was offered the choice of a Catholic High school or help with college.  She picked high school.  50K later (yeah....)....she is trying to finish her degree.

    He has been putting this bug in the oldest's ear about what her sister gets from social security every month...because he is disabled.  (but...I am sorry....there are people who need it so much more than he does)....he does not pay child support because she gets disability. 

    Lianna called Sarah earlier....and told Sarah to go into the bedroom to talk.  Actually asked her for 300 a month towards her college.  Sarah didn't know what to say...and didn't tell me.

    Lianna called me about a half hour later...to talk.  She wanted to be the voice or reason.  She wants a relationship with dad...so does Sarah (and that, my friends, we all know is bullshit)....I said.....Lianna....I do not want you in the middle of this.  I am in the middle...Sarah is in the middle....you always talk to me about this.

    I NEVER talk to her about money....or the court bullshit.  

    The conversation ended with her telling me that she needs a break from me.  She is depressed and I am not helping.....she can't have a relationship with her father if he is jail.  She doesn't have a relationship with him anyway.  She needs a break from me.

    I called the ex and kind of ripped him a new asshole.  Told him he was a total jackass for daring to put our children in the middle and jeapardizing my relationship with my children.  I told him I would see him in court in February.  And, may have called him a jackass.

    UGH..I am sorry for the rant...and thank you if you got this far.
    Mary :-)

    Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain.
  • KrabbyKay
    Posts: 5,914Member
    You *may* have called him a JACKASS??? OMG you're the very model of restraint! You don't even WANT to know what *I* would say.... >:D< Big ones, hun.
  • sidsmommy3sidsmommy3
    Posts: 2,522Member
    @krabbykay....I should have called him a lot more.

    Meanwhile....poor Sarah can't stop crying.  UGH
    Mary :-)

    Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain.
  • sidsmommy3sidsmommy3
    Posts: 2,522Member
    @leapardgirl....thank you.  She is applying...the thing is....she was at community college for 4 years....was more interested in being in plays than finishing the few courses she needed for her degree.  Now she knows she should have studied harder and is freaking out.  

    He got pissed on the phone.....he will NEVER change.
    Mary :-)

    Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain.
  • sidsmommy3sidsmommy3
    Posts: 2,522Member
    Thank you.  This crap makes me so tired.
    Mary :-)

    Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain.
  • GoddessGoddess
    Posts: 2,637Member
    I have nothing useful. I just want to give you a hug.
  • sidsmommy3sidsmommy3
    Posts: 2,522Member
    @Goddess - thank you!
    Mary :-)

    Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain.
  • Lulu
    Posts: 279Member

    From what you've written, it's not ENTIRELY your ex's fault. Your oldest daughter seems manipulative. The ex might be "planting the seeds" but she's certainly taking it and running with it. If she finished 4 years of college, she should be old enough to get a job and take out a loan or pay for it on her own.


    She's "depressed" because she's not getting what she wants. Do what you have to do to take care of your youngest...your oldest will learn her place eventually. Take your ex to court. Your older daughter is making assumptions and acting on what she thinks is the full story. Can you be honest with her and tell her the extent of the damage he caused to your retirement?


    Sorry if that sounds harsh. I'm probably a little older than her and I was the same way. Don't budge...your daughter can learn to be responsible for herself. And take his ass to court.


    Maybe you can use this as a lesson for your youngest daughter...For every choice, and every action, there are consequences.

  • MarySunshineMarySunshine
    Posts: 7,953Member
    >:D<
    I hate it when the kids get put in the middle. I know you've worked so hard to keep that from happening....and the asshole still manages to do it. Stick to your guns. Please give Sarah a hug for me! And maybe, if it would help, let her know someone else also feels it is NOT her job to support her big sister. Nor does she have to have a relationship with her father is she does not want one. He's clearly shown he does not deserve one. Lianna is a big girl. She made choices. And while being in playys isn't the typical "dicking around" of college kids, she still made her choices.

    My sister likes to get on the Woe is Me train. She's forever bringing up that our parents paid for me to go to college (that was my choice) and they paid for her to go to Cosmetology school (her choice), but because hers was less they should give her the difference...she's just blow it on nonsense. Point of my tale, yes, Lianna is scrambling because she's figured out she goofed up, she's probably a little embarrassed and I'm sure the seed was there before your Ex said anything. His bullshit was the fertilizer.

    >:D<

    Edited for grammatical mistakes. LOL
    "I don't poop. I create magic."- ABC

    I'm as sexy as a burp mid-kiss. Watch out!

    For every loser there's one that has to win. So bite your tongue, grit your teeth and grin...
  • BellaBefanaBellaBefana
    Posts: 10,374Member
    KrabbyKay said:

    You *may* have called him a JACKASS??? OMG you're the very model of restraint! You don't even WANT to know what *I* would say.... >:D< Big ones, hun.



    I'd have used far more colorful words than jackass. I agree, if that's all you called him, you showed great restraint.

    You want I should call my Uncle Vito?
    Bite me, cupcake!
  • VegantasticVegantastic
    Posts: 4,225Member

    @sidsmommy3 your restraint is admirable, but maybe you should check out the Scary Mommy Dictionary for the next time you have to deal with his douche-fuckery. I'm pretty sure there's plenty of words in there that apply to him!

    I'm so sorry you're dealing with this nonsense. And I agree with @leopardgirlie that Lianna is freaking out and taking it out on you because you're mom and you'll always be there (pretty sure I've done that to my mom before lol). Big hugs mama! >:D<

    "Be the change you wish to see in the world"
    "Don't Panic"
  • sidsmommy3sidsmommy3
    Posts: 2,522Member
    @Goddess - thank you!!  xoxoxo

    @Lulu - I agree - she is totally being manipulative. She learned from a master.  I tried to talk to her...and she is leaning towards his story. It involves money.  Ugh.

    @MarySunshine - Sarah said thank you for the hug!!  He is so good at the games.  And...I think Lianna will always want dads approval.  

    @BellaBefana - yes!  Let's call Uncle Vito!!!

    @SAHM1020 - Thank you!  Yeah...she always takes it out on me.  This time she pissed me off so bad when she asked Sarah.

    February 4th is the court date...and our divorce was final last February first. Kinda fitting.

    Thanks so much for all of your support and letting me vent!!

    Mary :-)

    Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain.