The Scary Mommy Dictionary
  • mommydeliriousmommydelirious
    Posts: 4,415Member
    When normal swear words are not enough, Scary Mommies make up their own or haul some obscure obscenity outta their ass invoking a smattering of applause from their equally twisted sisters .

     Post yours here and give the twatwaffles and douchcanoes of the world a reference point.
    Photobucket
  • mommydeliriousmommydelirious
    Posts: 4,415Member
    Knobgobbler (nob-gob-ler): Self explanatory. Can be used in place of "promiscuous woman" or when asshole just doesn't cut it.
    Photobucket
  • mommydeliriousmommydelirious
    Posts: 4,415Member
    Snail Trail: The reason going commando in pants isn't so appealing anymore, and the reason that having a penis becomes more appealing. Is highly exaggerated after a night of sex and falling asleep immediately afterwards.
    Photobucket
  • mommydeliriousmommydelirious
    Posts: 4,415Member
    Pearl Clutcher: The women you can simultaneously shock by uttering a word as simple as penis while acting like you actually enjoy one from time to time.

    Is susceptible to anything to do with sex, profanity, or parenting styles differentiating from their own.

    Shock may be accompanied by a gasp and throat clutching.

    (If you see one wearing actual pearls, you have the universe's permission to punch them in the face, just once.)
    Photobucket
  • CrashCrash
    Posts: 10,571Member
    Popcorn and vodka: The act of observing an age old fight (ff versus bf/cio versus attachment) between multiple passionate contenders.
    Why be a king when you can be a God?
  • SasafrasSasafras
    Posts: 1,627Member
    Jerkface fuckface
  • BellaBefanaBellaBefana
    Posts: 10,374Member
    Oh, this is going to be fun!  My cussing vocabulary has become SO much more colorful since I joined SM!!!!!

    So far my favs:  asshat, batshit crazy (which my 4 yo regularly makes me!), and my latest, though I didn't learn this one here, I DID learn it from a book recommendation from here:  fuckadoodle!
    Bite me, cupcake!
  • VegantasticVegantastic
    Posts: 4,225Member

    I have expanded and greatly improved my vocab since being on Scary Mommy!  My brother was incredibly impressed when I offered to "taco kick that fuckerbitch" in regards to the whore-zilla that recently broke his heart.  I've also become a huge fan of "what the actual fuck", douchecanoe, asshat, asswaffle, and "SUCKMAHDICK", courtesy of the Creative Cussing Goddess herself, @SchweddyBalls

     

    "Be the change you wish to see in the world"
    "Don't Panic"
  • SchweddyBallsSchweddyBalls
    Posts: 4,891Member
    LOVE IT!!!!! Lets do it all school like n' shit.....

    SUCKMAHDICK (suck-my-dick): to be used when shut up, fuck you or kiss my ass are not enough to the point. 
    Example: Really? You see a full garbage can and you still pile shit on top???? Nevermind, I'll take it and dear heart, can you please kindly "SUCKMAHDICK"
    I'm the nicest person you will ever meet, UNTIL you fuck with me or the betches I love.......
  • SchweddyBallsSchweddyBalls
    Posts: 4,891Member
    Casserole Queef : used to describe any cougar cunt attempting to steal your man with the use of her home baked swill.
    I'm the nicest person you will ever meet, UNTIL you fuck with me or the betches I love.......
  • mommydeliriousmommydelirious
    Posts: 4,415Member
    Crotch Dropplings: May be used in place of offspring, children, kids, baby (though that seems meaner for some reason) etc.
    Photobucket
  • SchweddyBallsSchweddyBalls
    Posts: 4,891Member
    TwatBurger, Skids, FuckerBitch, Short Buses, CrotchFruit, Troglodytes, Destroyer of the Tits, Turd Burglars : any alternate name used when your lovely children aren't being so fucking lovely
    I'm the nicest person you will ever meet, UNTIL you fuck with me or the betches I love.......
  • SchweddyBallsSchweddyBalls
    Posts: 4,891Member
    Fuck Stick, Fuck Knuckle, Asshat, Assclown, Douchecanoe, Douchenozzle: used when refferring to the idiot in your life and or father of your crotch dropplings.
    I'm the nicest person you will ever meet, UNTIL you fuck with me or the betches I love.......
  • mommydeliriousmommydelirious
    Posts: 4,415Member
    Shark Week: Alternate for Menstruation Cycle. Gets particularly toothsome when 100-200 scary members sync into a feeding frenzy.
    Photobucket
  • mommydeliriousmommydelirious
    Posts: 4,415Member
    Shark Bait: Anything found in the Hot Topics section during Shark Week (see above).
    Photobucket
  • mommydeliriousmommydelirious
    Posts: 4,415Member
    CuntBubble: A bitch so marinated in her own world of bitchiness she has created her own toxic bubble of hate, impenetrable by reason or logic.
    Photobucket
  • SchweddyBallsSchweddyBalls
    Posts: 4,891Member
    Cuntastic : the physical act of being a CuntBubble. Refer to definition of CuntBubble.
    I'm the nicest person you will ever meet, UNTIL you fuck with me or the betches I love.......
  • SchweddyBallsSchweddyBalls
    Posts: 4,891Member
    btw....... i think I've found my twat soulmate....... @mommydelirious
    I'm the nicest person you will ever meet, UNTIL you fuck with me or the betches I love.......
  • mommydeliriousmommydelirious
    Posts: 4,415Member
     @SchweddyBalls   <3

    Twat Soulmates: Friends with a high proficiency in accurately describing twatwaffles on a level so foul and profane it is almost (if not) indiscernible to the "non-scary" and pearl clutchers. Aka: They never COMPLETELY know what hit 'em.
    Photobucket
  • LilbitLilbit
    Posts: 1,887Member

    CuntBubble: A bitch so marinated in her own world of bitchiness she has created her own toxic bubble of hate, impenetrable by reason or logic.



    AWESOME DEFENITION!!!!
  • deviantqueendeviantqueen
    Posts: 337Member
    Cumbubble an arrogant guy who is toxic.
    Pussy hurt males who are acting like emotional girls.
    Chomo people who are trying to sleep with others who are obviously waaaay to young for them.
  • mommydeliriousmommydelirious
    Posts: 4,415Member
    I saw this one the other day. Its not mine, but SM can adopt it ;)

    Whorange: Woman with a spray tan that render's her skin Snookie Orange.
    Photobucket
  • mommydeliriousmommydelirious
    Posts: 4,415Member
    My take on @schweddyballs 's Fuckstick.

    Fuckstick: A man reduced in usefulness to a warm dildo. Concern for his sexual needs during this time of fuckstickery are obsolete.
    Photobucket
  • mommydeliriousmommydelirious
    Posts: 4,415Member
    MOOBS: Milk boobs. Don't touch them without expressed permission from the owner unless you're under 2 ft and just want them for sustenance. Violators will be slapped.
    Photobucket
  • SchweddyBallsSchweddyBalls
    Posts: 4,891Member
    oooohooooohoooooohhhhh......@mommydelirious......
    do some for fuckstickery and douchebaggery.........
    I'm the nicest person you will ever meet, UNTIL you fuck with me or the betches I love.......
  • mommydeliriousmommydelirious
    Posts: 4,415Member
    For @schweddyballs

    Fuckstickery: MALES. The direct path to douching your way to being ignored by your significant other unless she's horny enough to hop on for 5 minutes without eye contact or kissing. Fuckstickery may bring on a single silent tear of self disgust in women after coitus. After the abovementioned fuckstickery term is over, never EVER use "well you got off that one time and I didn't" as an excuse for douchey neglect of female satisfaction. It will automatically revert you back to fuckstickery status.
    Photobucket
  • mommydeliriousmommydelirious
    Posts: 4,415Member

    Cumbubble an arrogant guy who is toxic.
    Pussy hurt males who are acting like emotional girls.
    Chomo people who are trying to sleep with others who are obviously waaaay to young for them.



    @deviantqueen My fav is Pussy Hurt. They say we're too emotional.....
    Photobucket
  • WickedDunkieJunkieWickedDunkieJunkie
    Posts: 8,649Member

    Casserole Queef : used to describe any cougar cunt attempting to steal your man with the use of her home baked swill.



    Bows...
    Thank you thank you....

    WDJ_Avatar_zps4536679b
    We Are The Music Makers... And We Are The Dreamers Of Dreams...

  • WickedDunkieJunkieWickedDunkieJunkie
    Posts: 8,649Member
    Vaginamelon: aka crotchfruit, spawn, children

    Douchehippy/Dickfucker
    DinoLover


    WDJ_Avatar_zps4536679b
    We Are The Music Makers... And We Are The Dreamers Of Dreams...

  • beachmommybeachmommy
    Posts: 3,760Member

    I'm stealing this from another SM, but I don't remember who said it:

    Exhaustipation: So tired you can't even give a shit

    My beach is still Sandy....
  • MegsueMegsue
    Posts: 1,846Member
    Leave Me the Fuck Alone-ia: the act of staying up into the wee hours of the morning for the sake of sanity. Quiet time spent while the spawn and meatsticks are asleep.
    ETA: what SOs commonly refer to as insomnia...they just don't know we do it on purpose.
  • DemandaDemanda
    Posts: 5,920Member
    Pussy hurt hahahahaha, I'm stealing that!
    "The truth will set you free. But first, it will piss you off." ~ Gloria SteinemPhotobucket
  • kittykisses80kittykisses80
    Posts: 1,012Member
    Fudgesticks
    Tarter sauce <~~ stole from spongebob<br />There's more but my brainfarts are kicking in.lol
  • RosamundiRosamundi
    Posts: 1,412Member
    Dickmatized: the act of being so blinded by dick you are unable to live in the realm of rational, thinking people. (Suffered by twatwaffles, casserole queefs, and other sundry hobags that make us all look bad).
  • RosamundiRosamundi
    Posts: 1,412Member
    Ass queef: just wrong. And worse than an asshole.
  • RosamundiRosamundi
    Posts: 1,412Member
    Bitchapotomus: don't be one.
  • RosamundiRosamundi
    Posts: 1,412Member
    Whoreasaurus Ex: every one of our SOs has one.
  • Thefinder
    Posts: 1,775Member
    @mommydelirious where is that quote from?
  • mommydeliriousmommydelirious
    Posts: 4,415Member
    @thefinder what quote is that?
    Photobucket
  • Thefinder
    Posts: 1,775Member
    The original post that started this thread.
  • LilbitLilbit
    Posts: 1,887Member
    @thefinder I don't think it's a quote the idea started from a comment I made in @schweddyballs thread about the casserole queef

    Edited to add sorry if I'm speaking out of turn @mommydelerious
  • deviantqueendeviantqueen
    Posts: 337Member

     @SchweddyBalls   <3

    Twat Soulmates: Friends with a high proficiency in accurately describing twatwaffles on a level so foul and profane it is almost (if not) indiscernible to the "non-scary" and pearl clutchers. Aka: They never COMPLETELY know what hit 'em.



    Hahaha I think I might borrow this when I hang with my girls. I ♥

  • kittenkitty00
    Posts: 522Member
    Douchecanoe i think is my fav right now.
  • TottyCake
    Posts: 934Member
    Fucknut. Cum guzzling gutter slut (also interchangeable with whore.) Hookerbitch.
  • coda
    Posts: 18Member
    "Asshat" has actually turned into a term of endearment for our ds18.  Trust me, it's appropriate and he finds it as funny as we do!  I jokingly called my dd16 a "douchcanoe" and shocked she asked me "where did you hear that? my friends use that all the time" guess her friend's moms are scary mommies too :)
  • As I try very hard to live up to being a Mormon, I attempt (really attempt) not to use bad language.  Think it lots though.  However, it did cause me to come up with See You Next Tuesday (CUNT).  Like that chick at Rellief Society was a real See You Next Tuesday.  And the universal Mormon cussword FLIP.

     

  • Flip is any swear word you need at the time.  Works well and no one really knows which swear word you are thinking when you say it.  And don't know you're swearing.  For me, it's usually f**k.  Oh and I say fliptard.

     

  • junglezoo
    Posts: 249Member
    All of these are really good BUT I Really need a good "male" equivalent of the word "cunt". Cunt is one word that I loathe more than any other word in the English language and my H knows this so if we are arguing he calls me that. I want an equally nasty insult to throw back at him and none of the above are nasty or vile enough.....so c'mon ladies, give me a good one! Or if there are any scary daddies out there that will divulge what they loathe being called I'd love to hear from you.
    I'm going to the zoo zoo zoo. You can come too too too....
  • mommydeliriousmommydelirious
    Posts: 4,415Member
    @junglezoo May I suggest just punching in him the jugular...with a knife??


    Photobucket