SCARIES
  • unforgivenunforgiven
    Posts: 12,718Confessional Manager
    image

    Use this thread to list your favorite confessions from the week and maybe even claim one you're willing to fess up to!

    The confessions will be featured on the homepage of ScaryMommy. 
    They could also be featured on the Scary Mommy Pinterest page!


    MOST HUGGED: 264709 Im a police officer of 10 years a mother of 3 sitting in the brathroom thinking about killing myself. I dont think I know how to be happy. My kids are the only thing I care about.

    MOST LIKED: 263923 Nurse at my dr office asked me why I am infatuated with African men (dh) is black & made snide comments about my 3yo DS. I just made a complaint. I hope she gets fired.

    MOST OMG ME TOO: 264769 Sometimes I wish I could throw a screaming, throwing, breaking things tempertantrum. Then I realize I would have to clean it up so I don't.

              BEST OF CONFESSIONS CHOSEN BY YOUR CONFESSIONAL MANAGERS

    264097: Once DD2 had been constipated for a week, took her nekkee-noonoo in the above ground pool at grammas house, that relaxed her. She climbed up the ladder having to poop, I was behind her, caught huge log in my bare hands.

    264501: My not-even-2-yet son and his father think it is HILARIOUS that he says "OoooOOh S**T!" randomly. I secretly do, too, but show disapproval.

    264321: I tried to rock that sexy librarian look... i ended up looking like Ms. Piccolo from the Fresh Beat Band.

    264054: its not that I am feeling older, its just the people walking out of convience stores with 6 packs are looking younger to me by the day. seriously!

    263805: I would love to drink more water and diet properly. Unfortunately I can't find water with a high enough caffeine content to replace my mt dew.

    263280: I'm jealous of her stamina. Her focus. Her drive. Her endless energy. Her ability to stuff her mouth full and not get fat. She runs for hours... Sometimes I wish I was just like our hamster.

    263981: DS4 is walking around with Febreeze, spraying the shit out of everything he can reach, saying, "Look, Mama! I clean just like you!"

    263982: Friends were over so we ordered Pirates of the Carribean for the kids to watch so we could chat over a glass of wine. Looked up and 3 lady pirates were topless making out. Turns out we had ordered the soft porn version.

    263308: I got up extra early this morning and got DD5 ready for school. As we were waiting outside in the cold I realized they didn't have school today. Must admit this is my funniest fail yet.

    263540: That Beta fish that you buy your child thinking you only have to feed it for a few months will out live most of your house plants.They can go weeks with out eating and aren't phased by dirty water.You have been warned.

    confessional-manager

    "What looks like torture is a time to rejoice
    What sounds like thunder is a comforting voice
    When what is beautiful looks broken and crushed
    And I say I don't know you
    But you say it's finished"
  • WickedDunkieJunkieWickedDunkieJunkie
    Posts: 8,649Member
    263280: I'm jealous of her stamina. Her focus. Her drive. Her endless energy. Her ability to stuff her mouth full and not get fat. She runs for hours... Sometimes I wish I was just like our hamster.

    I have SOOOOO thought this before... but it was about a puppy my friend had. LMAO
    WDJ_Avatar_zps4536679b
    We Are The Music Makers... And We Are The Dreamers Of Dreams...

  • RosamundiRosamundi
    Posts: 1,412Member
    263981 is me! First time in the scaries. Kinda proud. :)
  • HorridWenchHorridWench
    Posts: 702Member
    My son does the same thing, lol!
    "She Dances in a Ring of Fire and Throws Off the Challenge, With a Shrug" - Jim Morrison
  • GingersnapGingersnap
    Posts: 9,696Member
    263982: Friends were over so we ordered Pirates of the Carribean for the kids to watch so we could chat over a glass of wine. Looked up and 3 lady pirates were topless making out. Turns out we had ordered the soft porn version.

    =))
    image
    “The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.” ― Joseph Campbell
  • JazBearLilyJazBearLily
    Posts: 78Member

    263982: Friends were over so we ordered Pirates of the Carribean for the kids to watch so we could chat over a glass of wine. Looked up and 3 lady pirates were topless making out. Turns out we had ordered the soft porn version.

    OMG!! that is sooo funny! i would have loooovvvveeedd to have been there!

    :-))
  • Buggy_Boo
    Posts: 209Member
    263805 - Me, too!
  • 264097: Once
    DD2 had been constipated for a week, took her nekkee-noonoo in the
    above ground pool at grammas house, that relaxed her. She climbed up the
    ladder having to poop, I was behind her, caught huge log in my bare
    hands.


    That's one way to catch sh*t...literally!
    =))
  • fritobanditofritobandito
    Posts: 11Member
    The beta fish was mine.

    Omg! the thing JUST WON"T DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Well, actually, it did die....Once....Went about 12 hours OUT OF WATER.....I uh sorta forgot to flush it and my son felt sorry for it so he put it in a cup of water....the little scaly bastard came back to life!!!!

    At first I thought it was the second coming of Jesus fish ( chill out ppl, I'm only joking....half way)...But it wouldn't eat for like a week....Then I noticed the strange blank rage filled insatiable hungry look in it's buggy clouded over eyes and the way it watched my son every time he walked past...I knew that normal fishy flakes would no longer sate his hunger and that he longed for a taste of human flesh...As is the norm with Zombies...

  • RosamundiRosamundi
    Posts: 1,412Member
    What is a nekke-noonoo????
  • HorridWenchHorridWench
    Posts: 702Member
    Since rolling over after drunken sex and looking my DH straight in the eye and saying "I coulda had a V8", he has REALLY put in some effort in the bedroom.Should have said it years ago

    "She Dances in a Ring of Fire and Throws Off the Challenge, With a Shrug" - Jim Morrison
  • HorridWenchHorridWench
    Posts: 702Member
    Lmao @ that one
    "She Dances in a Ring of Fire and Throws Off the Challenge, With a Shrug" - Jim Morrison
  • lostinthewindlostinthewind
    Posts: 1,617Member
    #263805 please share withus all when ya figure out how to caffeinate water!!!!!
  • Mama07Of10Three11Mama07Of10Three11
    Posts: 121Member
    263308 is mine. DD is still pissed I woke her up early when she didn't need to go to school. I'm pissed I stood out there for 10 mins wondering where the damn bus was.
    "Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence."-Helen Keller
  • LesboMomLesboMom
    Posts: 3,812Confessional Manager
    @lostinthewind There is such a thing - I have never had it - but I have heard of it. Caffeinated water!! 

    confessional-manager

    Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see a shadow. -- Helen Keller
  • LittleTalksLittleTalks
    Posts: 1,376Member
    @fritobandito I just got a shiver down my spine at your comment. I'm going to be having creepy zombie fish nightmares tonight, i hope you're happy!
  • Marionettevie
    Posts: 2,729Member
    omg the porn one is HILARIOUS! i asked my mom to rent SHREK for us, without noticing we rented one named SHRIEK........and it was like scary movie, with more sex added to it.... my mom blamed it on me and told me i was trying to watch porny movies behind her back...... WTF!
  • momofdbbmomofdbb
    Posts: 10,900Member

    264097: Once
    DD2 had been constipated for a week, took her nekkee-noonoo in the
    above ground pool at grammas house, that relaxed her. She climbed up the
    ladder having to poop, I was behind her, caught huge log in my bare
    hands.


    That's one way to catch sh*t...literally!
    =))


    =)) I thought I was doing good. DS is just getting the potty thing. We went to a restaurant to eat and I talked him into going potty. He went and peed , I asked if he needed to do anything else , nope. Head back to table. On the way to the table a " rabbit pellet fell out of his pants leg and rolled across the floor !!! I grabbed that sucker up and turned him around and back to the potty ! He finished up in the potty , lol. One day he will get it won't he ??? Pee is good , he has got that, poo not so much.
    " Wibbly wobbly timey wimey ......." The Doctor
    " I'm a leafe on the wind..watch how I soar ." Wash :((
    " Oh the wall had it comming.' Sherlock Holmes
    yea I am geek !!
  • djbillie
    Posts: 23Member
    Ok as far as caffeinated water, it is possible. My DH used to drink mountain dew like it was his last dying day. He discovered that Mio drink flavor stuff. They have an energy one with caffeine in it. He fuckin loves that shit now. He almost never drinks soda anymore and lost about 60 pounds in the process. He works nights and uses it to stay awake. He even gets the Walmart brand of it since it is cheaper. His favorite is the cherry limeaid and a berry flavored one. There is a green mountain dew like one and he said it was ok too but he likes the others better. Hope that helps!
  • BellaBefanaBellaBefana
    Posts: 10,374Member

    #263805 please share withus all when ya figure out how to caffeinate water!!!!!



    Crystal Light has an 'energy' formula. Doesn't taste too bad for diet crap!
    Bite me, cupcake!
  • JustAConfusedMamaJustAConfusedMama
    Posts: 4,527Member
    @djbillie, where does your DH get that from?  My biggest vice is soda and I need to quit, but i need caffeine and coffee is nasty imo.
    If you would like to sponsor me for the Imagine Walk for Autism in April, for my friend's son please click the below link and donate.
    http://www.firstgiving.com/fundraiser/sfamily/12th-imagine-walk-and-family-fun-day-for-autism