No.....fuck stick, I'm not eating that shit!!!!!! *KARMA DOTH COMETH.....FUCKERBITCHES*
  • SchweddyBallsSchweddyBalls
    Posts: 4,891Member
    And I hope it gives you liquid ass!!!!! Last time that cuntbubble "made" our family dinner 
    , I told you NEVER AGAIN!!! Fuck that shit.......
    She is not just being nice, she's fucking pushy, old as shit, can't cook AT ALL and hot after your dick......gettafuckinclue!!!!!!
    Yes, I'm going to be pissed about this.......I told you to tell her NO......told you to tell her I DON'T LIKE HER THINKING SHE CAN COOK FOR MY FUCKING FAMILY!!!!!!! I told you if you brought that shit home, we would fight.....I MOTHERFUCKING TOLD YOU....... 
    I most certainly does still fucking count that she just "showed up" with it.......how in the fuck does this bitch know where we fucking live????? Yes, I fully expected you to still turn it down........GAWD DAMMIT........ this is so fucking disrespectfull to me as the mother, the woman of the house.....the bitch who SWALLOWS your fucking loads....... 
    That's it fuck knuckle.......gloves are fucking off......I don't give a fat fuck how people will see you differently after I chew this bitches ass at her office...... bet you $$$ I get a standing ovation on my way out.....hand cuffed or not..... 
    If you don't have the balls to tell this bitch to knock it off.....I'll strap some on and do it for you....pussy bitch!!!!!!!!
    It's time to check this twat and piss out my territory!!!!!!
    I'm the nicest person you will ever meet, UNTIL you fuck with me or the betches I love.......
  • missmama5missmama5
    Posts: 6,874Member
    Woo mama! What in the heck?! Some woman brings food to your house and wants your mans penis?
  • deviltwinsmommadeviltwinsmomma
    Posts: 2,743Member
    What the fuck? Does this bitch have a death wish? Or is she plain out stupid?
    No right minded woman cooks dinner for a man and his family unless the momma is six feet under or in the hospital. What a stupid bitch!
    Sorry sweetie!
    my mother used to sing me a song. It went like this: "Life is short, life is shit, and soon it will be over.
  • Peace
    Posts: 3,230Member
    Wait, is someone sick or something? She just showed up at your house with a meal?
  • MorganD
    Posts: 3,436Member
    WOW. Stomp her, I would definitely have a problem with that shit!!
  • DreamerDreamer
    Posts: 2,473Member

    Should we ready our paypal for bail?  And can you video tape this?  Then we can post it on YouTube of what happens when you fuck with the wrong persons man.

     

    I know we joke about it, and you are totally tough enough to handle it.  But you shouldnt have to.  Bringing another mans family food...when he has a WIFE is so far beyond rude. 

    There are some people who live in a dream world, and there are some who face reality; and then there are those who turn one into the other. Which one are you?
  • GoddessGoddess
    Posts: 2,637Member
    Whoa. What happened?! I want deets of telling her off. Or ya know, whatever/however you go about getting your point across!
  • LilbitLilbit
    Posts: 1,887Member
    This is the same broad that made dinner when you started working right? I'd deaf go give her my 2 cents
  • AloneOverseasAloneOverseas
    Posts: 2,312Member
    OMG!!! You SWALLOW??? Eewwwwwwww gross!

    =))
    I love purple; I love cats. Imagine if cats were purple ...
  • MorganD
    Posts: 3,436Member
    @AloneOverseas With that truly admirable rant up there, that's all you got out of it? LOL
  • WillileeWillilee
    Posts: 1,621Member
    SA-NAP. Just heard a bitch get snatched!
  • AloneOverseasAloneOverseas
    Posts: 2,312Member
    @morgand ... Ya, pretty much! Lol

    That and waiting to hear more details ... :D
    I love purple; I love cats. Imagine if cats were purple ...
  • TottyCake
    Posts: 934Member
    You tell that bitch! I'll supply the alibi.
  • SchweddyBallsSchweddyBalls
    Posts: 4,891Member
    yep........same fucking bitch!!!!!!!

    He got called ut on an emergency call thursday to one of her properties. When he took her the invoice today I guess she went on and on about how much she appreciates him.........*eyeroll* then give him an extra $50..... 
    She AGAIN made a huge deal about making us dinner......from what I gathered, he "tried" to decline several times.......even ignored her calls/txt messages
    ot to pick it up. While I was out at the store, she popped up with the meal. Josh was home and his report was " this googly eyed lady came with stuff for jeff......and jeff turned three shades of white". I'm still wanting to know how this bitch knows where we live......Jeff thinks she got it from another agents roll-a-desk.......
    So there sits this fucking food......no one is touching it......Jeff said "it's just stupid to waste" but has yet to touch it.....I guess he values his balls attached!!!!! He tried to talk Josh into getting it warmed up and Josh told him " I'm not going anywhere near it....if you think mom is being silly...YOU WARM IT UP". 
    I tried to give him simple to understand examples of how this shit ain't right.....
    I'm the nicest person you will ever meet, UNTIL you fuck with me or the betches I love.......
  • Peace
    Posts: 3,230Member
    Lol @aloneoverseas...

    Can't find the backstory on this meals on wheels angel who drops by uninvited & unannounced at dinnertime on a Sunday night & starts WW3 in a family. Nice, very nice.
    The whole time she shopped for, cooked this, put in containers, got ready to drop it off...she didn't think to call!?
  • SchweddyBallsSchweddyBalls
    Posts: 4,891Member
    Not sure if I got thru to him......but I'm thinking she will get it....
    I'm leaving that shit out, overnight, and going straight to the office......I've fucking had enough.......it's on and crackin!!!!!!!!
    I'm the nicest person you will ever meet, UNTIL you fuck with me or the betches I love.......
  • SchweddyBallsSchweddyBalls
    Posts: 4,891Member
    Here's part of "her" story......
    She always hits on him.....has done it right infront of me before. He shines it.....ignores the obvious and tells me to ignore, she flirts with anything that has a dick. She runs a "side" business.....calls herself a "working moms friend" and trys to peddle home cooked meals......from what I've heard.....business is always slow!!!!!! She gets ass hurt during the holidays over my goodie baskets and the subsequent orders that always follow.....whaevs cuntbubble......q
    I'm the nicest person you will ever meet, UNTIL you fuck with me or the betches I love.......
  • Peace
    Posts: 3,230Member
    No, no, no. I say you let the kids eat it. You & Jeff go out to dinner tonight.
    Then give her back her containers with a note saying that the kids loved it, it saved you & Jeff from having to make sure dinner was ready for them before you got to go out for a relaxed meal. You're sorry you missed her. You were at the store picking up dinner for them... :D
  • RosamundiRosamundi
    Posts: 1,412Member
    @leopardgirle that is genius. Have Jeff take it to work, untouched, for the office.

    PERFECT.
  • Newb
    Posts: 256Member
    I think you should reciporicate with a shit sandwich. Shoved up her anus, of course. :D
  • LifeofchaosLifeofchaos
    Posts: 1,046Member
    Shit I wish someone would cook dinner for me..... And do the dishes! Bc im lazy like that ;-)
  • BlessieBlessie
    Posts: 2,108Member

    Shit I wish someone would cook dinner for me..... And do the dishes! Bc im lazy like that ;-)



    Yeah, it's the macking on the hubs that takes it to a new place. And the stalking/showing up at the house.
  • AAA08
    Posts: 427Member
    What a weirdo. I'd be pissed too. Plus, IDK...I don't trust people and if she is acting so damned weird(showing up at your house, not taking cues) I'd be afraid to eat her food.
  • eappleeapple
    Posts: 1,997Member
    Ya I'd be pissed and it almost seems like she trying to lure you into being a customer. Like crack, give you a tiny hit to get you hooked and then watch you sell your soul for her macaroni. Regarding the flirting I have become so tolerant to women flirting with dan it barely phases me anymore. I now actually get a tad joyful about it because while it occurs all I can think is how she's boosting his ego and he'll likely do me like a porn star later ;) That and the whole nana nana boo boo he's mine and not yours song playing in my head while drool escapes her dropped jaw.

    @aloneoverseas =)) That was my fave part of the post! Nothing like some @shweddyballs humor to start your morning!
    And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music. ~Nietzsche
  • theprincessmommytheprincessmommy
    Posts: 701Member
    I hate "that" woman. My Dh tried the friend thing with his ex from right before me. She came to my apartment and started cooing over MY baby. Offered to rub dh's back, change diapers, "give me a break because I just looked so tired" she wanted me to go lay down and take a nap so she could have some alone time with dh and D's no doubt. She visited for 7 hours wtf but karma is a bitch Dh invited people over to buffer himself and a bunch of people saw her blatantly hit on him and get all hands and a dog on the patio above ours peed and it dripped on her head. Never had that happen before or since when we lived in that apartment.
  • SchweddyBallsSchweddyBalls
    Posts: 4,891Member
    Well......I made it home....no cops!!!!!!
    Walked in with my arms loaded......everyone in the office knew exactly why I was there!!!!! You could hear a pin drop. I politely waited till she got off the phone then ever so nicely placed the swill on her desk.... "sorry, I wasn't able to refridgerate anything.....see, we have a FULLY stocked kitchen. Just so *we* are clear, I am perfectly capable of cooking for MY family and although your gesture may very well be innocent, both you and I know it's not. Since Jeff is too nice of a person to handle this, I'm going to make it crystal clear......you "make" dinner one more time for MY family, show up at my house or call him with anything OTHER than work related stuff.....you and me WILL have a problem.....understand?" ......(fish out of water mouthing in silence)....." I'm guessing you do......you don't fuck with my house......you have no idea how deep my crazy runs"......
    I turned and walked out.......by the time i got home my fav agent called to tell me she sat there for a minute then proceeded to start in with the "well, I nevers" .....at which time the floor manager called her over and told her she had already been warned once and this kind of unwanted behaviour towards colleges will result in her being asked to leave the office.......
    BOOYAH CUNTBUBBLE!!!!!! You just don't fuck with The Schweddy!!!!!!
    I'm the nicest person you will ever meet, UNTIL you fuck with me or the betches I love.......
  • fatchickonabikefatchickonabike
    Posts: 6,590Member
    That's the most awesome thing I've read on SM since @undercoverbanana lost it on the jerk at the drugstore.
    Part of growing up is learning to forgive your parents for being human.
  • VegantasticVegantastic
    Posts: 4,225Member
    I'm sure you're more than aware @SchweddyBalls, but you are fucking awesome! ^:)^ ^:)^ ^:)^
    "Be the change you wish to see in the world"
    "Don't Panic"
  • SchweddyBallsSchweddyBalls
    Posts: 4,891Member
    I'm still shaking from the adrenalin rush.......think I'll go clean the oven!!!!!!!
    I'm the nicest person you will ever meet, UNTIL you fuck with me or the betches I love.......
  • junglezoo
    Posts: 249Member
    Tee here...totally gave me the giggles :D. You rock!
    I'm going to the zoo zoo zoo. You can come too too too....
  • HestiaHestia
    Posts: 291Member
    holy shit you crack me up lol I miss being able to do things like this to people . I'm sure there's badge bunnies that hit on my husband but it wouldn't go over well for me to go to his office and say anything . that whole city government shit and all . Only time I ever got to say something to someone was when his ex kept calling him when we were dating and I finally got to say when she asked who I was, that this is his fiance . I said it in a super sweet sugary voice an that bitch never called again . :+)
  • SasafrasSasafras
    Posts: 1,627Member
    ^:)^ I bow to the master @schweddyballs!!! So proud!!!
  • shouldcleanshouldclean
    Posts: 2,808Member
    @SchweddyBalls you are my hero!
  • babablacksheepbabablacksheep
    Posts: 172Member
    WoW!!!!!! Good for you!!!!!
  • KatDragonKatDragon
    Posts: 370Member
    I ^:)^ ^:)^ ^:)^ ^:)^ in the presence of greatness!!


    "Fantastic!" 9th Doctor
  • MarySunshineMarySunshine
    Posts: 7,953Member
    That was fucking awesome!!
    "I don't poop. I create magic."- ABC

    I'm as sexy as a burp mid-kiss. Watch out!

    For every loser there's one that has to win. So bite your tongue, grit your teeth and grin...
  • mommydeliriousmommydelirious
    Posts: 4,415Member
    Yah gotta love the fact that she's obv caused enough shit in the past that she got threatened to be let go instead of the cops called...
    Faaaaack. If I ever ever in this big world get to meet @schweddyballs we'll be going OUT for dinner. I don't want no crossed lines and to end up sitting in a puddle of my own piss. You is scary woman!
    Photobucket
  • Thefinder
    Posts: 1,775Member
    Fuckin eh!
  • GingersnapGingersnap
    Posts: 9,696Member
    Daaaaaamn
    image
    “The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.” ― Joseph Campbell
  • eappleeapple
    Posts: 1,997Member
    This update made me smile like this :D
    And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music. ~Nietzsche
  • SchweddyBallsSchweddyBalls
    Posts: 4,891Member
    I'm finding it quite entertaining my actions have earned me a spot on El Jeffe's " i'm mad to you" list and getting the silent treatment.......whatevs fuck knuckle.....I'm not above litterally pissing in your cornflakes.....
    I'm the nicest person you will ever meet, UNTIL you fuck with me or the betches I love.......
  • eappleeapple
    Posts: 1,997Member
    Please do it!!! And don't forget to record his reaction and share :D
    And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music. ~Nietzsche
  • missmama5missmama5
    Posts: 6,874Member
    Oh you're my idol. :D way to go!
  • Katescrazymom
    Posts: 2,839Member
    =D>   You're awesome. 
  • KiinuKiinu
    Posts: 1,233Member
    Best thing I've read all morning. Honestly :D :D 
  • GritsGrits
    Posts: 4,370Member
    Nice. Very well played.
    =D>
    "I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day, and I believe in miracles." ~Audrey Hepburn
  • PJSaregreatPJSaregreat
    Posts: 356Member
    =D>
  • Ads9785Ads9785
    Posts: 280Member
    =D>
    ~amber dawn~

    ~aka mommyto2boys0811~
  • BirdieBirdie
    Posts: 2,377Member
    High five!

    SMSM_s_5

  • MorganD
    Posts: 3,436Member
    =D> <:-P :)) ^:)^ 8->
    I can't believe he's mad at you! That was awesome! And obviously she's skanking it all over town, or she wouldn't be getting in trouble with her boss! You are epic, @schweddyballs...just epic.
  • kittykisses80kittykisses80
    Posts: 1,012Member
    Haha. That was pretty awesome!! Maybe stinkface will get a hint now. Don't mess with someone else's family. :-)