Would you have a problem with this?
  • pittsburghmummy
    Posts: 37Member
    Hubby made a 'friend' online. She is a single mom of two boys. He texts all the time. He now wants to have lunch with her. He says its cause he needs friends but I think that's BS. Would it bother you?
  • MorganD
    Posts: 3,436Member
    YES. Yes, this would bother me!! I would flip out. And I'd put the same situation to him in reverse, and see how he feels.
  • DemandaDemanda
    Posts: 5,920Member
    Yes it would bother me.  I'm sorta jealous like that. Even if you have every reason to trust him, you don't know what her intentions are.   Totally agree with @morgand, present it to him in reverse and see what he says.  
    "The truth will set you free. But first, it will piss you off." ~ Gloria SteinemPhotobucket
  • DovahkiinDovahkiin
    Posts: 1,223Member
    What they said ^^^^^
    Do you know where online he met her?
    Stroke the furry wall
  • MorganD
    Posts: 3,436Member
    Or even better. Say that you want to go to lunch with them. And why not? If they're just friends, it shouldn't be a problem.
  • pittsburghmummy
    Posts: 37Member

    He met her on Craigslist. From what he told me she isn't to guys like him. He's vanilla and shes into some pretty kinky stuff but still.

  • OxiMOMOxiMOM
    Posts: 3,104Member
    Yeah that wouldn't fly with me. At all
  • OxiMOMOxiMOM
    Posts: 3,104Member
    Wait hold the phone how does he know her sexual type??? Um yeah just that right there would be an oh hell no why is he talking sex with her??
  • MorganD
    Posts: 3,436Member
    WHY THE HELL ARE THEY TALKING ABOUT SEX ANYWAYS?? Omg. I would completely lose my shit and beat the computer to death with a bat.
  • CanadianMamaCanadianMama
    Posts: 10,374Administrator, Moderator
    I am with all of the other ladies. No, it is not okay. What is he doing meeting women on craigslist to begin with???

    community-manager


  • WabiSabiLife
    Posts: 131Member

    Both of @MorganD  comments are what I was thinking: why are they talking about sex, and if they are Just Friends, then you should be invited, too. She wants friends, right?! Go be her "friend". And then you will either have a new friend, or you will ruin it for DH.

    I would not be comfortable with this right now at all. I *could* become comfortable with it, depending on how it all plays out. My DH has female friends and works with about 90% women, he does the occasional after work drink with a group and has done school vaca play dates with some of the women (and some of the men, too). The difference is that I have met them and their families. I am not worried in this case. Meeting someone on CL then texting all the time is sketchy. Your radar is on alert for a reason.

  • VegantasticVegantastic
    Posts: 4,225Member

    I would not be okay with it. Not at all. And when I found out they were talking about their sexual preferences, I'd be having a royal shit fit. Unacceptable. And I'd be very tempted to get ahold of the women's number and call her and tell her to leave my husband the fuck alone.

    "Be the change you wish to see in the world"
    "Don't Panic"
  • Lakegirl34
    Posts: 2,814Member
    No, no, no. The fact he was in craigslist looking and already texting would be a deal breaker for me. That's not right!
  • MorganD
    Posts: 3,436Member
    @Lakegirl34 Exactly. Why was he looking up women to begin with? That's completely unacceptable!
  • WickedDunkieJunkieWickedDunkieJunkie
    Posts: 8,649Member
    She has 2 kids... but isn't into men? Well some men were into her at some point.
    (Granted... their are exceptions... but this is a little too sketchy)

    After I found out about the first text... she'd have been contacted by me....
    And now be too afraid to ever speak to another woman's man again....
    Because she'd be afraid of what I would do to the Whore.

    Period.


    WDJ_Avatar_zps4536679b
    We Are The Music Makers... And We Are The Dreamers Of Dreams...

  • MorganD
    Posts: 3,436Member
    @WickedDunkieJunkie Apparently she isn't into men "like him", because he's into vanilla sex, and she's kinky. Pft. Whatever.
  • episcopal
    Posts: 1,851Member
    I haven't read the entire thread, but no, it's definitely not OK.
  • LilbitLilbit
    Posts: 1,887Member
    Yea that's a big fat no
  • VegantasticVegantastic
    Posts: 4,225Member
    MorganD said:

    @WickedDunkieJunkie Apparently she isn't into men "like him", because he's into vanilla sex, and she's kinky. Pft. Whatever.



    And what kind of conversation leads to her telling him all of her kinky preferences??? Seriously!! This is just so not okay...
    "Be the change you wish to see in the world"
    "Don't Panic"
  • episcopal
    Posts: 1,851Member
    I agree with @MorganD.  I was going to suggest some way of joining them for lunch, but wasn't sure how.
  • WickedDunkieJunkieWickedDunkieJunkie
    Posts: 8,649Member
    Oh pfft (read it wrong) but still...
    ...... ALL MEN can have kinky sides in the right mood.
    My husband is "Vanilla" for lack of better word.... & I'm........ not.... but...... if I want something different.... well....

    & yeah.... I don't know my friends sexual "preferences" in that way... don't know if they like dinos in the butt or to be tied up etc.

    Soooo
    WDJ_Avatar_zps4536679b
    We Are The Music Makers... And We Are The Dreamers Of Dreams...

  • SalllyWingo
    Posts: 1,557Member
    SAHM1020 said:

    MorganD said:

    @WickedDunkieJunkie Apparently she isn't into men "like him", because he's into vanilla sex, and she's kinky. Pft. Whatever.



    And what kind of conversation leads to her telling him all of her kinky preferences??? Seriously!! This is just so not okay...


    A sexual conversation... "So, what are you into?"

    Like FUCK that would fly with me. Tell him to find some male friends
  • pittsburghmummy
    Posts: 37Member

    I'm so close to taking my kid to my mom's next week when hes out of town. Im so beyond pissed.

  • WickedDunkieJunkieWickedDunkieJunkie
    Posts: 8,649Member
    But the rest of my earlier comment still goes....
    WDJ_Avatar_zps4536679b
    We Are The Music Makers... And We Are The Dreamers Of Dreams...

  • MorganD
    Posts: 3,436Member
    I would definitely head out for a few days. He can decided whether or not this "friend" is worth losing you over.
  • MegsueMegsue
    Posts: 1,846Member
    Oh hell no. This is wrong on soooooo many different levels. I have mostly guy friends. My DH is ok with this as he knows them, I didn't meet them on the Internet, and even the ones that I've known my whole life, I have no fucking clue how kinky they like their sex. I don't talk sex with my guy friends...it's wrong. Your DH should be swinging by his balls right now.
  • MorganD
    Posts: 3,436Member
    I only have one guy friend, and he's approved of by SO. I'm sure him living 5 hours away with a wife(who is also my friend) and kids doesn't hurt. If SO didn't like it, I'd drop ole Mitch faster than he could blink. Why? Because there is no one worth losing my SO over. Your husband should feel the same way.
  • StarsStars
    Posts: 1,145Member
    I trust my husband implicitly and I still would be pissed if he said something like this to me.  He wants friends? Uh go find some buddy's to hang out with and his avenue for finding said friend...yah BIG fucking no. He's lying.  He's looking for something and isn't saying what exactly 
    apsycho

  • Iforgetmyname
    Posts: 4Member
    No way in hell would that fly with me.
  • GritsGrits
    Posts: 4,370Member
    I can smell bullshit coming off that story from all the way over here.

    Does he think you're stupid or gullible??

    DH knows better. So do I. You do NOT hit CL looking for a platonic friend. It just doesn't happen. That's what FB is for. Or, you know, actual places. I'd have smashed the damn phone...after I gave that little homewrecker a piece of my mind. Hell, no.
    "I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day, and I believe in miracles." ~Audrey Hepburn
  • GingersnapGingersnap
    Posts: 9,696Member
    I'm not the jealous type. I feel pretty darn secure in our relationship. Hell, I've even thought about us maybe swinging a bit (but we're tired and busy and that can go south fast). 

    I am hearing all kinds of alarms going off here. Short version: No. Long version: Fuck no.
    image
    “The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.” ― Joseph Campbell
  • unforgivenunforgiven
    Posts: 12,718Confessional Manager
    Totally inappropriate. I am the jealous type. No freaking way.

    confessional-manager

    "What looks like torture is a time to rejoice
    What sounds like thunder is a comforting voice
    When what is beautiful looks broken and crushed
    And I say I don't know you
    But you say it's finished"
  • RosamundiRosamundi
    Posts: 1,412Member
    Absolutely inappropriate. And talk about taking YOU for granted. You deserve to be cherished, not hoodwinked by his asshole-ish, selfishness. Tell him to get a grip on what matters. And Hell Yes go to your mothers... But put in a couple nanny cams first.
  • SchweddyBallsSchweddyBalls
    Posts: 4,891Member
    ohhhhh hell fucking no......... 
    Seriously would have lost my shit already......
    Craigslist??? He better have been looking for a used lawnmower....
    Too vanilla? That would have ended with his "vanilla ass" trying to locate his removed dick and bag in the backyard......
    It's tim.e he finds out how deep your crazy bitch runs.......I'll help......
    I'm the nicest person you will ever meet, UNTIL you fuck with me or the betches I love.......
  • pittsburghmummy
    Posts: 37Member
    Talking to my hubby no one can be this dumb. He doesn't get why it upset says so I can't have any friends like my guy friend from HS. I'd have no problem with that. Just the bitch he met on craigslist.
  • VegantasticVegantastic
    Posts: 4,225Member
    Show him this thread. Show him how many women immediately smelled bullshit with this story, and how many of us said we'd be upset too. And I still say you should call the chick and tell her to leave a married man the fuck alone
    "Be the change you wish to see in the world"
    "Don't Panic"
  • MorganD
    Posts: 3,436Member
    SAHM1020 said:

    Show him this thread. Show him how many women immediately smelled bullshit with this story, and how many of us said we'd be upset too. And I still say you should call the chick and tell her to leave a married man the fuck alone



    Awesome. ^^This!
  • episcopal
    Posts: 1,851Member
    @pittsburghmummy, tell him that a guy has read this thread.  If your (D)H thinks it's just the ladies who have a problem with this, he is DEAD WRONG! 

    If I were talking to him, I'd begin, "Dude...what the fuck are you doing?  If the fire that you're playing with doesn't burn off your dick, your DW will if you don't stop talking to this other woman  RIGHT NOW!"

    You have my permission to convey this to him.
  • SammieSammie
    Posts: 8,345Administrator, Moderator
    I would have been beyond livid from the get go. I would have flipped my shizz when I found out he was searching for "friends" via CL. It all seems to have gone downhill from there. The friend he does find happens to be a single woman, and they proceed to discuss details of their sexual preferences and then he has the audacity to ask if it would be okay if they meet for lunch? That's not a friend, that's a date. You take your wife to lunch, not a strange woman from Craigslist. None of this adds up and you deserve FAR more respect than this. I'm sorry you're in this situation. It is through no fault of your own!

    community-manager


  • undercoverbanana
    Posts: 12,609Member
    yes. i would have a giant problem with that. he needs to take YOU to lunch, not a stranger he met online. he doesn't need to be making opposite sex friends on line, and meeting them without you. if you guys need to widen your circle of friends, it should be TOGETHER. when was the last time he took YOU to lunch?
    i'm nekkid.
  • WhereamIWhereamI
    Posts: 11Member
    Oh hell no!  Do me a favor when he's turning all purple and puking from you kicking his ass post the pics mkay?
    "I'm not trying to win a popularity poll. I'm trying to win football games. I don't like nice people. I like tough, honest people!"
    ~Woody Hayes

  • WabiSabiLife
    Posts: 131Member

    If the roles were reversed, how would your DH feel about you going to lunch with a man you met on CL? Even if the man likes kinky sex and you prefer vanilla? does that make it ok? Because, hey, who doesn't need more friends? Give hime a role reversal perspective and see if maybe it clears up for him why you are pissed.

  • CanadianMamaCanadianMama
    Posts: 10,374Administrator, Moderator
    He's gaslighting you. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/yashar-hedayat/a-message-to-women-from-a_1_b_958859.html

    You are not overreacting, or misinterpreting anything. It's sketchy that he's on CL meeting people to begin with, the texting and now you know they've discussed sex makes it so much worse. If anything you are under reacting to the situation. 

    community-manager


  • pittsburghmummy
    Posts: 37Member
    My hubby gave me her email so I emailed her today and told her no uncertain terms to leave me and my hubby the fuck alone and if she needs friends to maybe try some moms at her kids school.
  • Discombobulated
    Posts: 57Member
    I am not the jealous type... This would not fly in my house. And he knows it.... He has said to me (and his buddies/coworkers) many times.... He has no need and wouldnt risk losing me.

    Not just no...but HELL no!!

    I also say that cause it has happened to me before..... He needed a friend to talk to. It was only him looking for his backup. She moved in with him right after we broke up. Yeah... And she was "only" a friend.

    Please dont let him guilt you into him having his way.
  • VegantasticVegantastic
    Posts: 4,225Member

    My hubby gave me her email so I emailed her today and told her no uncertain terms to leave me and my hubby the fuck alone and if she needs friends to maybe try some moms at her kids school.



    Good for you!!!
    "Be the change you wish to see in the world"
    "Don't Panic"
  • momofeveryonemomofeveryone
    Posts: 1,917Member
    good for you! i'd tell dh to lock down the cl shit bc this is his last chance. uncceptable.
    i want a nap. and some chocolate. who's with me?!
  • Discombobulated
    Posts: 57Member
    T

    My hubby gave me her email so I emailed her today and told her no uncertain terms to leave me and my hubby the fuck alone and if she needs friends to maybe try some moms at her kids school.



    Good.... Searching for a friend on CL is not ok. Now... I would work on finding out why he is looking... Somethings not right.
  • MorganD
    Posts: 3,436Member
    Good for you!!
  • shadylaneshadylane
    Posts: 3,125Member
    He's not only a cheating scumbag but a stupid one at that. Did he really think u would say oh sure honey go on a date with a skank from craigslist, since she's such a freak its fine! Wtf?! How dumb can u be to tell ur wife ur basically sexting with another woman and then say she's over reacting when u want to see her in person?!
    ~slim shady~
  • pittsburghmummy
    Posts: 37Member
    I'm so done with him. He had the balls to ask why he can't be friends with her and continues to text her after I sent her the email. I don't need to be disrespected and my dd doesn't need to see that either.