The Scary Mommy Community is a place to find support and camaraderie with amazing moms who love to help one another. We are scattered all around the world, of all different colors and sizes and lifestyles, united by a single thing: motherhood.

Please create a profile to post and for access to all of boards. It's quick and completely painless!

Motherhood Comes Naturally (and other vicious lies) is available in stores, and online, NOW. Do you have it yet? Have you told all your friends and family about it? **Get it, share it, and spread the joy!**
I am a way better mother than my friends and sister!
  • angrymama
    Posts: 524Member

        Yup, the truth hurts!  Sorry if you kid refuses to eat your over cooked toast after spending time at my house.  It's not my fault I like to ensure my son has a nutritional breakfast to give him a good start to his day.  Who gives their kid just toast for breakfast?  I like to make home made pancakes with fresh blueberries or whole wheat waffles on the griddle.  As for your frozen pizza friends... once again I am sorry your son won't eat when he gets home.  Auntie only makes home made pizza.  Tastier and not full of chemicals.  It's also not my fault that your kid nags you to do a craft or bake fresh cookies upon leaving my house.  I enjoy crafting, baking and spending some special family time together.  Rather than judge me, you should take lessons from me.  I am the perfect mother.

           Oh shit, who am I fooling!  Well clearly my sister.  Does she really think  I am Betty fucking Crocker/ June clever.  Of course I am not going to lay on the couch in my PJ"S all day like a lump of shit when I have your kid.  Do you actually think I make ds3 pancakes every morning?  Breakfast is called an eggo fucking waffle!  Or go make your self some toast and don't fucking burn your self this time, I am not in the mood...  And while your at it make muma a coffee and don't fuck it up this time, i said 2 fucking sugars not 3, learn to fucking count you moron.  Not to mention make fresh cookies?  They are normally fresh out of the package!  Crafting is called a pack of broken crayons and a coloring book. Hehe.

  • AAA08
    Posts: 427Member
    When I first started reading this, I started to feel bad, lol. Your sister thinks you are the perfect mother?
  • MegsueMegsue
    Posts: 1,864Member
    [-X I am the perfect mom @angrymama :P Get your facts straight! My kid had ice cream and home made apple crisp for breakfast. I WIN!!!! ;)
  • MorganD
    Posts: 3,456Member
    LOL Hilarious. I started giggling at that last bit. My brother and sister, who each have one child (girls), thing that I am all-knowing because I have 3 boys. BAHAHAHAHA. I know nothing about girls. However, each time my sister's 2 year old starts whining, I give her the eye, and she shuts right up. I don't know why, but that child is scared of me. >:) I guess I'm just awesome like that.
  • angrymama
    Posts: 524Member
    My sister does think I am the perfect mother.  Yes, her son thinks I am way more fun then her.  When he sleeps over we do have fun, it's called auntie drank a bottle of wine and now she thinks she's a riot! lol
  • RosamundiRosamundi
    Posts: 1,063Member
    Love this!!!
  • Ashdawn684Ashdawn684
    Posts: 851Member
    I love it!!
    ~Live life to the fullest, or die trying~
  • angrymama
    Posts: 524Member
    My sister is just jealous because I "get" to be a sahm. Jealous? I am jealous she "gets" to go to work.  I need to "get" the fuck out of this house!
  • shate98shate98
    Posts: 2,751Member
    LOL. I was about to unload since I packed my kid off to daycare today with an eggo waffle instead of homemade pancakes with fruit ;) Glad I'm not the only im-perfect mama!
    "As you wander through your life, whatever be your goal,
    keep your eye upon the doughnut, not upon the hole."
  • Marionettevie
    Posts: 2,211Member
    does it count if i am only perfect about once or twice a month?... thats about how often i do stuff like the perfect mom up there(except the pancakes for the kid...those are for me..kiddo doesnt like pancakes). lol!!!! the rest of the time its easy omeletes, and packaged cookies and milk!  i think having to cook ONCE a day i a lot...so i save my energy for dinner.
  • angrymama
    Posts: 524Member
    @Marionettevie  you do not have to do all that shit to be a good mother.  As long as you give your kids lots of love, that's what counts.  The only time we have pancakes is for dinner.  I barley have enough strength to make coffee in the morning.
  • Marionettevie
    Posts: 2,211Member
    lol yeah i think if i a making dinner i did a pretty good job... the days we eat out for dinner its like a break. i am NOT a morning person...we are usually eating breakfast by like 11 LMFAO
  • angrymama
    Posts: 524Member
    @Megsue  I would kill for some apple crisp.  My son had about five peanut butter spoons.  He loves his peanut butter spoons and well,  I didn't feel like arguing with the little basatrd this morning.  I can't lie...  I finally gave him the jar and said go to town!
  • MegsueMegsue
    Posts: 1,864Member
    I should add that my Betty Crocker ass did NOT make that apple crisp. It is my late Christmas present from MIL. So, again with the win. I must be MOTY because I fed my kid junk that I didn't make. Come on over @angrymama. You can have some apple crisp...but only if your DS will share his peanut butter with me. I still eat that shit out of the jar with a spoon. It just tastes better that way.
  • angrymama
    Posts: 524Member

    If my nephew could fully talk my secrets would be revealed.  The boys were in the tub when my coffee shits kicked in.  Sorry boys, enjoy your nice steamy tubby tub with a nice aroma of my shit.  Hell, I almost was ready to hope in with them after that shit. lol

  • momofdbbmomofdbb
    Posts: 9,024Member
    Well at least your kids will EAT solid food in the am. DS 5 won't ! I can get him to drink chocolate milk and sometimes instant breakfast. It has a few minerals and stuff in it.
    " Wibbly wobbly timey wimey ......." The Doctor
    " I'm a leafe on the wind..watch how I soar ." Wash :((
    " Oh the wall had it comming.' Sherlock Holmes
    yea I am geek !!
  • squishsquish
    Posts: 729Member
    Ill join the perfect club too lol. DS loves mini pancakes in the morning. Right out of the box, still frozen. I'm not going to argue if it gets him to eat.
  • doubletroubleplus1doubletroubleplus1
    Posts: 206Member
    LMAO...I do have kids that will *only* eat toast some days. But hey, they're eating, right? (Today it was instant oatmeal, but that's still healthy, right?)
    I'm not crafty, but at least once a week try to let them do watercolors or something easy, mostly because it keeps them out of my hair! I think it's funny because DH's cousin, who is older than me, has 2 kiddos slightly older than my 3, thinks I am a "consistent, good-natured, sweet, loving mother." I usually just say thanks and try not to laugh...especially since she is the one I call on the phone, crying, when the kids are driving me crazy!
    As long as they are healthy, happy, and not killing each other, I know I'm doing something right!
    :D
    "I will hold on hope, and I won't let you choke on the noose around your neck. And I'll find strength in pain and I will change my ways. I'll know my name as it's called again."
    -"The Cave" Mumford & Sons
  • momofdbbmomofdbb
    Posts: 9,024Member
    I think I have a win this morning ! He is eating cereal !!!lol
    " Wibbly wobbly timey wimey ......." The Doctor
    " I'm a leafe on the wind..watch how I soar ." Wash :((
    " Oh the wall had it comming.' Sherlock Holmes
    yea I am geek !!
  • katz_meowkatz_meow
    Posts: 4,241Member
    Megsue said:

    [-X I am the perfect mom @angrymama :P Get your facts straight! My kid had ice cream and home made apple crisp for breakfast. I WIN!!!! ;)



    Um, fruit. Check
    Dairy. check
    Fiber. Check

    Sounds like a good breakfast to me. :-)

    But really, I'd give my kids homemade apple crisp and ice cream for breakfast before a pop tart. Yuck.
    Judgement comes in many forms but never scarce or shy
  • 456Imamom
    Posts: 538Member
    You ladies are awesome! I LOVE this site!!!!!

    BTW, DS2 ONLY gets pancakes for dinner (but then they are still from an 'add water and stir' mix). Cereal is breakfast everyday.... what can I say, the kid loves it and it's easy... oh, and this "not a morning person's" DH makes breakfast for all of us :D

  • MegsueMegsue
    Posts: 1,864Member
    @katz_meow the 5lb bag of sugar in there is a food group too! Right?

    From what I remember they were recently changed to:
    1.) Coffee
    2.) meat + potatoes
    3.) alcohol
    4.) sugar/sweet stuff
    5.) other shit that ends up on my plate or in my cup
  • WickedDunkieJunkieWickedDunkieJunkie
    Posts: 5,873Member
    Don't let the cafeMommies see this....
    Start hearing how horrible awful parents we are.
    WDJ_Avatar_zps4536679b
    We Are The Music Makers... And We Are The Dreamers Of Dreams...

  • Lees
    Posts: 70Member
    Removing the pickles from a McDouble completely counts as cooking. It does.
  • theprincessmommytheprincessmommy
    Posts: 673Member
    WickedDunkieJunkie said:

    Don't let the cafeMommies see this....
    Start hearing how horrible awful parents we are.



    HA that makes me giggle, My DS10 gets his own breakfast...Usually a granola bar or cereal. DS4 gets breakfast when he asks...I feel a little bad about that but he is so hyper and ready to play if I give him breakfast first thing it will just sit there getting cold and or soggy. Craft time is crayons and paper I gave up on coloring books long ago. As for baking we do bake on occasion but mommy will hjave had a glass or 2 of wine before we begin.
  • AKimiBAKimiB
    Posts: 1,820Member
    @angrymama... I love you.
    That is all. :))
    SMSM_s_5 photo SMSM_s_5_zps5d122d86.jpg
  • GritsGrits
    Posts: 3,749Member
    angrymama said:

    @Megsue  I would kill for some apple crisp.  My son had about five peanut butter spoons.  He loves his peanut butter spoons and well,  I didn't feel like arguing with the little basatrd this morning.  I can't lie...  I finally gave him the jar and said go to town!



    Good lord...DD4 went through a spell where that was all she would eat. I really didn't mind. She didn't starve and I only had spoons to wash. LOL I considered it a win/win situation.
    "I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day, and I believe in miracles." ~Audrey Hepburn
  • UnionMommy
    Posts: 30Member
    Man, I was starting to sweat during that first paragraph - our waffle iron broke years ago and we never replaced it, the last time I made homemade pizza my boys wouldn't eat it, and I'm totally the "toss them some broken crayons and paper from the printer" for arts and crafts.  Thank God I kept reading and got to the second paragraph before I went and hung myself for being a horrible Mom!!  You're a riot!!
  • MegsueMegsue
    Posts: 1,864Member
    @UnionMommy if anyone on here dared to pull the "I'm the perfect mom" bullshit on here, she'd be chased out of here pretty quick. :D
Add a Comment