SCARIES - updated with most OMG Me Too
  • unforgivenunforgiven
    Posts: 12,718Confessional Manager
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    Use this thread to list your favorite confessions from the week and maybe even claim one you're willing to fess up to!

    The confessions will be featured on the homepage of ScaryMommy. 
    They could also be featured on the Scary Mommy Pinterest page!


    MOST LIKED: 259543 At a restaurant today, a lady said to me, "Maybe your kid wouldn't be such a monster if you didn't give her soda." I replied, "Maybe if you minded your own business, people wouldn't think you're such a bitch."

    MOST HUGGED: 260219 My little sister slept with my boyfriend. I've never been more hurt or disappointed. Merry freaking Christmas

    MOST OMG ME TOO: 259248 I have never flossed my kids' teeth.....ever


    BEST OF CONFESSIONS CHOSEN BY YOUR CONFESSIONAL MANAGERS

    258994 - When DS7 & DD5 start working my nerves, I put myself in a 'Mommy Time Out'. This means leave me the fuck alone. If they bother me for anything other than a real 'need' or an emergency, I yell "Mommy Time Out! Beat it!".

    259152 - Recent studies show that 73% of people piss me the fuck off.

    259211 - Said to DH do you have the receipt? Because I didn't buy any of that bullshit coming out of your mouth!

    259308 - When I get sick of reading the same library books over and over I tell the kids they're due and have to go back to the library even if it's not true.

    259470 - I ached for the day when my kids wouldn't pepper me with questions ALL DAY long. Now they second guess my answers. Jerks.

    259471 - A fellow mommy at the park noticed the red juice spilled on my kid's stroller. At least- I told her it was juice... it's actually wine. But that's mommy's juice so technically I wasn't lying.

    259898 - To the young couple who gave me a dirty look as I carried my screaming child out of the store... you're welcome for the free birth control.

    259981 - Whenever I tell my dh that I shaved my legs, he has to ask "Your WHOLE leg?" before he gets excited. I've trained him to have low hygiene expectations of me over the years.

    260556 - My 2yr old was playing with barbies today, and made one yell to the other, "Holy crap!" Time to start a swear jar for mommy. Daycare frowns on things like that yelled by toddlers.

    260413 - Our 7 month old keeps getting my flip flops and chews on the bottom of them. I am tired of taking them away from her at this point so I just finally gave in and let her chew on them. Ugh lol.

    HAPPY HOLIDAYS! 

    confessional-manager

    "What looks like torture is a time to rejoice
    What sounds like thunder is a comforting voice
    When what is beautiful looks broken and crushed
    And I say I don't know you
    But you say it's finished"
  • KrabbyKay
    Posts: 5,914Member
    #260556 HAHAHAHAH that would have been me. It wasn't, but my toddlers swore too. In fact "crap" is a regular part of DS8's vocabulary. Classy, huh!
  • BitchShanker
    Posts: 19Member
    I am 258994. I haven't smiled this big in SO long. I feel like I won a damn Oscar. If I am slap happy, I am sorry, ladies. My babies are with their dad on Christmas Eve so this is a big ol' Christmas present for me.
  • BellaBefanaBellaBefana
    Posts: 10,374Member

    I am 258994. I haven't smiled this big in SO long. I feel like I won a damn Oscar. If I am slap happy, I am sorry, ladies. My babies are with their dad on Christmas Eve so this is a big ol' Christmas present for me.



    That's me too!  Mommy time outs are a very good thing!
    Bite me, cupcake!
  • Hippiechick
    Posts: 49Member
    259211- that was mine!

    These are great :-))
  • Ms_JAQ
    Posts: 109Member
    259152 - Recent studies show that 73% of people piss me the fuck off.

    MINE!!!! 
  • undercoverbanana
    Posts: 12,609Member
    Mommy time out....i used to do that. Even if I stuck my fingers in my ears and said lalalalalalalalallla....
    i'm nekkid.
  • CrashCrash
    Posts: 10,571Member
    You're supposed to floss your kids teeth?

    Huh.
    Why be a king when you can be a God?
  • unforgivenunforgiven
    Posts: 12,718Confessional Manager

    confessional-manager

    "What looks like torture is a time to rejoice
    What sounds like thunder is a comforting voice
    When what is beautiful looks broken and crushed
    And I say I don't know you
    But you say it's finished"
  • MarySunshineMarySunshine
    Posts: 7,953Member
    #260413 - Our 7 month old keeps getting my flip flops and chews on the bottom of them. I am tired of taking them away from her at this point so I just finally gave in and let her chew on them. Ugh lol.

    Meh. Baby beastie is 9mo and had been chomping on m flip flops since October. Both our beasties have shoe fetishes. LOL

    http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/27/health/27brod.html
    "I don't poop. I create magic."- ABC

    I'm as sexy as a burp mid-kiss. Watch out!

    For every loser there's one that has to win. So bite your tongue, grit your teeth and grin...
  • momofdbbmomofdbb
    Posts: 10,900Member
    I caught my DS 5 chewing on his foot. I said What are you doing !! And he handed me a toenail ! Ugh ! Stop chewing your toenails off ! Something I didnt think I would have to say ! Lol.
    " Wibbly wobbly timey wimey ......." The Doctor
    " I'm a leafe on the wind..watch how I soar ." Wash :((
    " Oh the wall had it comming.' Sherlock Holmes
    yea I am geek !!
  • LiquidPeppermintLiquidPeppermint
    Posts: 841Member
    The most liked was mine.  I'm glad SOMETHING good came out of my Taco Bell confrontation!
  • KrabbyKay
    Posts: 5,914Member
    @LiquidPeppermint the soda bitch was YOU????  =)) ^:)^ You are greatness!!!
  • shouldcleanshouldclean
    Posts: 2,808Member
    @LiquidPeppermint you are AWESOME!
  • LiquidPeppermintLiquidPeppermint
    Posts: 841Member
    It had already been a REALLY rough day of Christmas shopping, and I did NOT need parenting advice from some bitch whose kids were far less well-behaved than mine!  Usually I'm not that outspoken.  And I've never ACTUALLY had someone say, "Well, I NEVER!" to me before. 
  • pennypenny
    Posts: 1,599Member
    @LiquidPeppermint, please tell me you followed up with "Never learned to mind your own beeswax? Clearly."
  • pennypenny
    Posts: 1,599Member
    @momofdbb My 5yo does that too! So gross.
  • momofdbbmomofdbb
    Posts: 10,900Member
    @penny I'm glad to know he is not the only one ! Lol. Bendy little guy !
    " Wibbly wobbly timey wimey ......." The Doctor
    " I'm a leafe on the wind..watch how I soar ." Wash :((
    " Oh the wall had it comming.' Sherlock Holmes
    yea I am geek !!
  • gramalibbygramalibby
    Posts: 3,744Member
    Caught the Grand in the crib with a handful of poo about to decorate the area when I reached for him into the mouth it went . Made a horrble face. Lesson learned
  • BreakOutQueenBreakOutQueen
    Posts: 457Member
    I cannot keep up with SM a fraction of the time I would like:(
  • Gracenikki
    Posts: 9Member
    Lol, the Leg shaving one was mine. Half the time, my lower legs are clean shaven and the uppers look like a mans. I find it hilarious :)
  • WinginItWinginIt
    Posts: 242Member
    I rarely shave the tops of my legs.  It's taken as "Go ahead, ravish me!"  In unspoken sex language, so I stopped doing it.