The Customer is NOT Always Right
  • RuralRebellionRuralRebellion
    Posts: 2,817Member
    Is there anyone else who works in retail/with the public?  I wanted to start a thread for you to share your funny conversations with/complaints about customers.

    I work in a children's clothing store (chain), and you'd be surprised what some people expect us to have or do.  It's pretty tame for the most part, the kids are the most entertaining, but sometimes I get a doozy.

    The most recent in memory:

    Older lady looking like she "lives off the grid" comes in.
    Lady: "Do you have any rubber pants?"
    Me: "Umm... like... splash pants?"
    Lady: (disgusted look) "No.  For potty training."
    Me:  "We have underwear?"
    Lady: "No, waterproof reusable ones, you know, for potty training?"
    Me:  "Sorry, we don't carry cloth diapers."
    Lady: (sigh) "No we already have the cloth diapers, I'm looking for the waterproof ones.  34 years ago I used them.... (I tune her out at this point)
    Me: (thinking) "If you start any sentence with '34 years ago' I can almost guarantee they don't make them anymore"
    Me: (saying) "Oh ok, no sorry.  Maybe your best bet would be a baby boutique, ones that specialize in things like cloth diapers."
    Lady: "Doesn't this store specialize in baby things?"
    Me: "Well, just clothing, we're a chain.  I was thinking more along the lines of a store that carries higher end baby accessories, I know of one but it's in [nearby city]."

    At this point she proceeds to tell me how her 18 month old granddaughter is potty training because she's just "sooooo advanced" and I humour her by wishing my own 18 month old would potty train this early, but of course that only makes her sound/feel more superior.  She also tries to convince me to switch to cloth diapers, which I "consider", but I live in an apartment building with shared, paid laundry facilities, so like hell I'm gunna do that, especially with only 1 kid.  I finally got her to go on her way, with no sale obviously.  After telling my coworkers, I wasn't crazy, I was not the only one who has never heard of "rubber pants".


    So please, share, and make me laugh!
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  • AAA08
    Posts: 427Member

    I'm 32 and I remember wearing rubber pants when I was 2 or 3. They go over underwear, so you don't leak all over everything if you have an accident.  You were right to tell her to go some place that carries cloth diapers. Retail can be frustrating, but I'm guessing she was frustrated too. At least you were polite.

  • VegantasticVegantastic
    Posts: 4,225Member
    Gah! Rubber pants! Those things leave the WORST rashes. Sure, you get a little extra protection, but it comes at the price of your LO's sensitive skin. There's a reason she can't find them anywhere lol
    "Be the change you wish to see in the world"
    "Don't Panic"
  • AAA08
    Posts: 427Member

    BUT I hate when people try to convince people to do anything like cloth diapering. That would annoy me.

    And yes, rubber pants sucked, lol

  • gramalibbygramalibby
    Posts: 3,744Member
    Ooooooh I had 2 kids now 40 and 41 and I did use rubber over trading pants , does that make me an old fart ? I remember I rembering
  • RuralRebellionRuralRebellion
    Posts: 2,817Member
    Well I wasn't trying to say there was no such thing, I just thought the conversation I had with her was funny.  I'm almost 30, and I have no memories from the age of 3, let alone whether or not I wore rubber pants.  I just wanted to get the ball rolling on some funny retail interactions, because I know there's way worse out there!
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  • AKimiBAKimiB
    Posts: 1,809Member
    I worked at Starbucks.
    Only one instance of many many many... Etc..

    Dude-"Tall latte"
    Me-::makes latte, NO syrup::
    Dude-::watching::
    Me-::hand off:: Here's your tall latte! Have a great day!
    Dude-::sip:: this is vanilla latte, I ask for tall latte.
    Me- "Oh okay, sir. Let me try a different cup, maybe that had a little syrup in it (thank you incompetent co-workers!)
    ::grab cup with quick unnoticeable sniff action, no vanilla::
    ::make latte::
    ::hand off::
    Dude-::sips:: "Vanilla"
    Me-::repeat like 3x's, same result::
    :: starts taking the "vanilla"(NOT VANILLA) lattes and quick throw in trash, I have an inkling I'm being duped, so fuck that shit!::
    I change the cup to grande and leave the amount of space at top for it to equal a tall::
    ::hand off::
    Dude-:: sip:: "Vanilla"
    Me- "sir, I'm sorry, but I haven't put any syrup in any of those, and I have other customers. If you would like a full refund, I can get that started for you, but I'm going to have to move on now."
    Dude-::proceeds to throw the hot latte on my 7month pregnant body::
    ::flips me off::
    Me-::I have hopped onto my knees onto the counter::
    Co-workers-::holding me back::
    ::they have already dialed security::



    Fuck that guy hard in his skull. And his family that he was trying to dupe me for coffe for.
    SMSM_s_5 photo SMSM_s_5_zps5d122d86.jpg
  • AKimiBAKimiB
    Posts: 1,809Member
    I forgot the string of work-ok profanity streaming from me... -_-
    At that time, the only customers were him and mall employees who were our friends that had a problem with that dude and family earlier.
    SMSM_s_5 photo SMSM_s_5_zps5d122d86.jpg
  • KrabbyKay
    Posts: 5,914Member
    HEY!!!!!! I lived off the grid, but I didn't LOOK like it!!! 
    And I don't work in retail, but I have customers. They tell me some weeeeeeeird shit.....
  • RuralRebellionRuralRebellion
    Posts: 2,817Member
    OMG @AKimiB I would've found something equally as hot and thrown it right back at him.  Job or no job.  I can't stand that shit.

    I should dip into my stories from when I worked for a party tent rental company in a richy-rich city.  Some seriously stuck up customers with giant ass fancy houses.
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  • KrabbyKay
    Posts: 5,914Member
    OK here's one I think I can say: From a clinic:
    "We need the heli, this person has a nosebleed."
    Me: "All right. Does the person have any other symptoms?"
    "No a nosebleed."
    Me. "Ok they are on the way. Is there anything else?"
    "No. They have been bleeding for 8 hours."
    Me. "EIGHT HOURS? Was there any trauma? Is there visible trauma?"
    "No. Just a nose bleed."
    ..............wtf.
    Crew gets there....the person is unconscious, has clearly been assaulted, and is bleeding from the nose, ears, and mouth....HOLY SHIT??? Nothing like not telling me anything....
  • RuralRebellionRuralRebellion
    Posts: 2,817Member
    LMAO what thell??  And that was a call from a MEDICAL clinic?  Not just some random person?  That's insane.
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  • VegantasticVegantastic
    Posts: 4,225Member

    OMG @AkimiB that is horrible!!

     

    "Be the change you wish to see in the world"
    "Don't Panic"
  • SasafrasSasafras
    Posts: 1,627Member
    People that think the medical facility is a fast food place, I'm sorry we can't get you in and out in fifteen minutes.
  • forkinthehead
    Posts: 482Member
    I remember rubber pants. They were staples for a lot of moms. Thank God disposable diapers took off. Rubber pants were awful. They would get hot and start cracking after awhile.
  • SchweddyBallsSchweddyBalls
    Posts: 4,891Member

    The worst one I have was from waaaaayyy back in the day from high school.....

    I use to sling dead poullrty at KFC, they called me the drive thru queen, Ran the window by myself and WORKED IT!!! Anywho..... we always ended up with a huge amount of extra wings from folks ordering meals "hold the wings"....so I would randomly box some up and offer them as an extra bonus for different customers. They were always surprised and gratefull....till one fucker ruined it for everyone. He came flying in (as fast as his 500 lb frame could fly) after pulling away from the window......seriously yelled at me "HEY, drive thru bitch....where the fuck are my extra wings?". First, I calmly explained to big boy that he a)didn't order them b) the extras he was EXPECTING was a random thing and he ain't THAT special and Finally ( after he continued to cuss me out) C) .....you nasty fat fuck, don't need ANY extra anything.....at which point my manager was attempting to stop me from climbing over the counter to beat fat boy with a biscuit grabber.....

    Needless to say.....I was a little more selective with my wing gifts from then on.....

    I'm the nicest person you will ever meet, UNTIL you fuck with me or the betches I love.......
  • GingersnapGingersnap
    Posts: 9,696Member
    @akimib - that's a non-snarky hug. That's assault.
    image
    “The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.” ― Joseph Campbell
  • GingersnapGingersnap
    Posts: 9,696Member
    @krabbykay - holy fuck.
    image
    “The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.” ― Joseph Campbell
  • MegsueMegsue
    Posts: 1,846Member
    Before the dawn of time (ok I'm not that old) I used to work at this fancy schmancy wine store. I had this thing that thought she was all that and a fucking biscuit, that came in one day and asked me for a good beginners wine that wouldn't make her look like a beginner. Ok I CAN DO THAT! Handed her a bottle of Due Uve (pronounced do-a ooh-vey...I clued her in on this little "secret") sent her on her way. 10 mins later she comes back in the store..."Where's the dooove."
    Me: "Excuse me?"
    Her: (all snotty and bitch tastic) "Where's the dooooooooveeeeeee."
    Me: "oh you mean the Due Uve I just sold you?"
    Her: "That's NOT what you sold me! You sold me a bottle and it was spelled D-U-V-E. I SHOULD KNOW I JUST FUCKING BOUGHT IT!!!"
    Me: (walks to wine rack and grabs the bottle) "No, actually you mean this right here. Due Uve. I just sold you a bottle. And oh, look, it's spelled D-U-E SPACE U-V-E." (I said this in the best sick-y sweet I-swear-I'm-not-being-a-bitch-voice I could muster.)
    Her: (screaming) "That's what I said!!!!!"
    My boss/store owner: "ma'am, that's not what you said. Do you want to buy this bottle of wine or not?"
    Her: "you're all a bunch of fucking idiots. Did I not speak plain English?"
    My boss: "no. Meg what did she say? DOOOOVE!!!!!" (He screeches like a eagle.)
    Needless to say she stormed out NEVER to return while the rest of the employees and customers laughed their asses off.
  • CrashCrash
    Posts: 10,571Member
    When I used to run the bar, this guy comes in around 11 pm or so. He comes up to the counter, and holds out his hand to the waitress. He says "What does this look like to you?" She says "A key?" He's like..."Right. What's it a key for?" She's like..."Uhm.." I come over out of curiousity, and take a look. It's a squarish key with a number engraved in it. I say "it looks like a hotel/motel key." The guy says "WRONG! It's NOT a hotel key!" I was like, "Ok" and chuckle a bit, since the dude is clearly off his rocker. The dude says "Where's the motel office?" "I say, "It's across the street" and kind of wave in that general direction. He says, "No, I just came from there." I'm like, "Well....I'm not sure what more to tell you." So he says "Well fuck you!" And throws the key at the poor waitress. He storms out and we never see him again.

    Why be a king when you can be a God?
  • GingersnapGingersnap
    Posts: 9,696Member
    @curious - both YIKES & WTF?
    image
    “The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.” ― Joseph Campbell
  • deviantqueendeviantqueen
    Posts: 337Member
    I've worked retail for too long so I have a lot of these stories. One sticks out in particular. I was one a fence install with one of my contractors and my manager. The customer who was (is) a drag queen was demanding we move his fence 2 ft onto his neighbors property. I was explaining as politely as I could that I couldn't allow that because it is illegal. He told me to just do it and the neighbor wouldn't care. I told him no and if he kept pushing the issue I was pulling my contractor off the job and would be refunding his money to him. He proceeded to start waving his finger in my face telling me that I couldn't refund his money I could finish his fucking fence. I told my manager and contractor (who is an ex narcotics dective) to pack his stuff we were done and the job was cancelled. The drag queen, who was in full costume grabbed me and spun me around and slapped me with his hot pink feather boa. My manager and contractor both grabbed me so I couldn't kick his ass. Needless to say I was more dumbfounded than anything.
  • CrashCrash
    Posts: 10,571Member
    Whoa, @deviantqueen. You got the boa slap down! 
    Why be a king when you can be a God?
  • deviantqueendeviantqueen
    Posts: 337Member
    @Curious yep I was bitch slapped by a boa! Lol not many people can claim that. :))
  • LadyKhanLadyKhan
    Posts: 109Member
    Wow. Impressive. The best one I can think of at this moment was an elderly lady demanding that someone come into the bathroom with her. To wipe her butt for her! <):)
  • cheesehead4ever
    Posts: 1,139Member
    You should check out the website
    Notalwaysright.com
  • RuralRebellionRuralRebellion
    Posts: 2,817Member
    omg @deviantqueen that's actually hilarious.

    When I worked for the party rental company about 3 years ago (they rent out large event tents, tables, chairs, etc..), DH, me and another guy went to pick up a bunch of stuff from a wedding venue.  When we got there, the mother of the bride was there with some very vocal complaints about the beer tub leaking.  We're just the muscle, so we were trying to tell her to take it up with the office for a refund or whatever.  The guy, being guys, just wanted to get the shit done and leave, but me being a girl, I was trying to calm her down and be as polite as I could an apologize.  But she was getting more and more irate.  At one point she actually grabbed my wrist and tried to pull me outside (not to beat my ass, but to scream at me louder), but I pulled my hand away and lost the politeness.  I refrained from swears, blows, or names, but I told her as bluntly as I could that we were not personally responsible for the defect and she needed to call the office.

    The next day I was at the office working in the warehouse.  One of the in house girls (I was the only girl who went out in the trucks) comes and says there is a lady looking for me.  It was irate-lady with a gift bag.  She apologized to me profusely and genuinely, and had a gift for me.  I was so touched that she had the balls to own up and apologize, and that was more than enough for me.  But she insisted I take the gift, and we actually hugged and she went on her way.  The gift was a large box of Ferrero Rocher chocolates and an AMAZING bottle of Portugese wine.  To this day it was the best bottle of wine I've ever had.
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  • CrashCrash
    Posts: 10,571Member
    Thanks a lot, @cheesehead4ever....I'm supposed to wrapping presents.....:P
    Why be a king when you can be a God?
  • deviantqueendeviantqueen
    Posts: 337Member
    Ooo I just remembered a couple other random ones I just thought of.
    1) I had a guy call me a tell me he had knotty ( naughty) wood and he doesn't like knotty wood. It is not appealing in the slightest way and people would be horrified to see the knotty wood. Giggle giggle. I was thinking what guy doesn't like naughty wood? Come to find out after calling my installer he didn't like that the cedar for the exterior of his door had a couple of knots in them.

    2) Another time another gentleman called screaming and cuss because his cock shrunk. It was all white and shrunken and wrinkly. Now how and when was I going to fix it. He never told me his name or gave me his phone # so I could find his account to look at what we had installed. So finally I get him calmed slightly down and get his name. "Oh", I tell him, "we installed a window for you. You mean your CAULKING shrunk!" He asked me why I sounded confused. I had to tell him he was pronouncing the word caulking wrong.
  • WinginItWinginIt
    Posts: 242Member
    I still pronounce caulking cock.  It makes my day to spread cock all over the place, and people are very tolerant of it because I look like a 12 year old girl..  

    I work at a gas station, so my wrong customer stories could go on for days.  I'll spare you a little, but I do wanna share one.  
    If someone comes in and says "I wanna get 2 gallons on pump 2"  then I'm gonna do the math for 2 gallons and put that shit on pump 2.  It's not fucking rocket science.  When they pay with a card, they have to verify the total TWICE, on top of me saying "alright that's $7.35" or whatever.  This guy came in and did just that, except he was really on pump 7.  And he actually wanted 2 gallons of premium.  In case you live under a rock, that costs more than regular.  Because it's fucking premium.  I got it moved to the right pump in time, but it didn't pump the full two gallons (I guess because he didn't pay enough..)  and he came in and spent 15 minutes standing next to my register telling me how pathetic I was    
    Him: "This is god damn pathetic.  I came in with a simple request, 2 fucking gallons, and you're telling me you can't add the price of 2 gallons of gas right?"
    Me: "No, I added it just fine.  If you had mentioned you were trying to get premium, I would have added that right too."  
    Him: "Bull shit!  This is fucking awful.  You're the god damn future of America.  No wonder this place is such a shit hole.  It's because people like you are the fucking future"
    Me (hoping the mics aren't being monitored at this moment): "Well thank fucking god for that, mister!  If the future of America meant more people like you running amuck in public, I would just go fucking kill myself now!  Please step aside, the tree crews are coming, and I'd rather you didn't block the regulars."  

    Listen, ladies, on behalf of gas station clerks everywhere, please please please realize,  I am not making shit off your gas purchase.  The owner only makes 3 cents off each gallon pumped, you think I see any of that?  I do not.  Don't fuck with us about the gas prices.  We know.  We have to buy it too.  On a gas station salary.  

    And if someone sells you a scratch off that wins $100 or more, tipping is not required, but generally expected.  Especially if the person that sells it to you is also the one that pays it out to you.   
  • WinginItWinginIt
    Posts: 242Member
    @deviantqueen, I almost peed on myself imagining a pink boa'ed drag queen slapping a contractor.  Sorry it happened to you, but ya gotta admit, the mental image is hilarious. Was he cuban?  We had a couple of really fancy cuban drag queens that came into the store for awhile, and jeeze they were "fabulous." and catty.  In my head, your drag queen looks just like mine ;)
  • MarySunshineMarySunshine
    Posts: 7,953Member
    I worked for 10 years (through high school and college) in a Mom & Pop hardware store in my affluent Jersey Shore hometown (Bay Head if you feel like looking it up lol). The owners of my store were absolutely the kindest and fairest people at have ever worked for. They treated us like family.

    Now, in our affluent town most of our big business was during the summer months. People who rented summer homes, the people who owned the multimillion dollar homes on the beach, and average joe people like my family. In addition to hardware, small building supplies (screening, paint, rope, single pane glass....no lumber)-typical stuff you find in a local hardware store, we also sold small home appliances, cleaning products, Bay Head sweatshirts, tops ideas, batting suits, summer stuff and gifts crap. More like a Woolworth's I guess.

    So, all of that being said, we had a notebook filled with funny and odd requests. The phone ones were the best.

    * I got into a debate with a potential customer because he wanted to by one of "the white triangle flag stickers with the blue star in the middle". I kindly told him those stickers were not for sale as they are the yacht club ensignia and can only be purchased by members of the yacht club at the yacht club. He got irate and nasty and said I was wrong and wished to speak with the owner. I put Mr. A on (the commodore for the yacht club at the time) with the jack off. He gave the idiot the same explanation and added that as commodore of the yacht club he could personally verify that the ensignia stickers were not for sale to the general public. Mr. A ended up hanging up on the dude. LOL

    *We had a woman call about purchasing a pedestal fan for her home. It was hot, the home was one of the older ones with no AC and her dogs were hot. So we looked at out stock and said yes we have some we're open until 5:30pm. So she came in, looked at them and asked if we could do special orders. We said yes and pulled out the inventory book. Short of the long- she wanted a black fan to match her black dog. And she brought the first one back because it was too noisy and scaring her dog. 8-| Must be nice to have so much money you can worry about fans matching your dog.

    *One of my coworkers and dearest friends (rest her soul) was a real pistol. She was older and refused to put up with bullshit. She refused to wait on or ring up anyone who came in talking on their cell phone, including those stupid blue tooths (soooo annoying when you're trying to wait on someone). We had one lady get nasty with her about it, and she just gave it right back to the lady. My owners backed her up!

    *The dirty old man who insisted I check his toes when he tried on new shoes. Dude would stand up and insist I check to see where his toes where in the damn shoes. I really think he got off on it. Creeeeper.

    I have tons of stories of asshole customers and the whack job regulars. Thankfully my owners had no problem with "the sales better off not made". They'd politely but brusquely show asshole customers the door, especially when they caught them mistreating us.
    "I don't poop. I create magic."- ABC

    I'm as sexy as a burp mid-kiss. Watch out!

    For every loser there's one that has to win. So bite your tongue, grit your teeth and grin...
  • kittykisses80kittykisses80
    Posts: 1,012Member
    II have way too many i work at the goodwill. People just expect us to be miracle workers and there so flipping rude.

    @ruralrebellion
    I used those rubber pants on my kids when they were potty training my kids are 11,7,4 they all had them. :-) they still make them. Somewhere..
  • RuralRebellionRuralRebellion
    Posts: 2,817Member
    @kittykisses80 DH used to work for Goodwill too lol
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  • RuralRebellionRuralRebellion
    Posts: 2,817Member
    I worked today, Boxing Day (the Canadian equivalent of Black Friday).  It was super busy and for the most part things went smoothly.

    But I had this one woman who wanted jeans for her son.  She had ME pick out a size 8 or 10 in every style, and when I told her we had a change room, she says to her kids "OK follow the lady, she's going to help you in the change room".  I'm like, uh no.  I'm not.  A: I don't have time.  B: I don't want to.  And C: that's probably illegal, you know, a stranger undressing your kids and all.

    Thankfully, the change room was in use.  So I handed her the jeans and told her to let me know how it went.

    Yes, I work in a store dedicated to children's clothing.  Yes, I am there to help anyone who needs it.  I give opinions, recommendations, help you find sizes, and even answer "silly" questions from first time parents.  But I DO NOT go into the change room with anyone's kids but my own.  Period.
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  • kittykisses80kittykisses80
    Posts: 1,012Member
    Creepy mom. I wouldn't tell some store clerk to change my child.lol some wacky parents out there.
  • MegsueMegsue
    Posts: 1,846Member
    :O why @RuralRebellion, so she could slap you with child molestation charges? Nuts, just nuts.

    Kind of reminds me of the time that a regular customer at the wine store I worked at called to order a case of wine and then tried to send her 16yo son to pick it up! I had to get out the law book and actually show her (later when she came to get it) that even though I knew it was for her to consume, I couldn't actually sell it to him 8-}
  • SnugglePussSnugglePuss
    Posts: 233Member
    You work in a children's store and never heard of rubber or plastic underwear? I would of been annoyed too if I was the customer LOL

    Anyway, I've been a server (waitress) for 15 years and if you want to deal with the scum of the Earth, wait on tables. There are too many stories to pick a few. Instead, I'll just pass on some friendly advice for dining out and getting waited on.

    1. Hang your phone up, please. It's rude. I was raised to not interrupt so you will not be served until you hang it up.

    2. Do not snap your fingers, whistle or "pssst" at me. I'm not a damn dog and again, you will be ignored. Make eye contact with a little head nod and I'll be right there :)

    3. Try to understand that your server does not do every job in the whole restaurant. For your one table, there are about 3-5 people involved with your order. Cooks, an expo, food runners. It's quite possible they can mess up your order too.

    4. When your server says, "Hi! How are you today?", don't say, "iced tea". You're iced tea? Cool!! I never met someone who had iced tea as an emotion! It's about getting what you give. If you want friendly, personable service, be a friendly, personable guest. Or I can just do the minimum and get you out of my face!

    5. Please stop stealing our pens.

    6. And leaving a 10% tip. Can't tip? Stay home and cook three meals for the cost of your one you ate out. It's not my problem you're budgeting but guess what? So am I!! Aaand I have to share my tips with 2-4 other people. I end up paying out more than what the tip was. Stay the hell home, you're expensive!!

    7. If you had a great experience, tell us or a manager. It's such a morale booster when that happens.

    I can't think anymore. I'm in bed with my DD 2.5 and she's trying to fall asleep while pulling my hair. Too much.
  • deviantqueendeviantqueen
    Posts: 337Member
    @WinginIt it is a pretty funny mental image. It was pretty funny about an hour after it happened and I calmed down. He was black and about 6'8" in his heels. I'm only 5'4" so he towered over me. My contractor still tells me he wished he had recorded it so we could relive it on our bad days.
  • LiquidPeppermintLiquidPeppermint
    Posts: 841Member
    I have worked for two of the top Pizza delivery chains all my career.  And I have had a slew of dumb customers. 

    In Mississippi:

    Lady: I want a pizza with everything. But not fishes.  I can't stand fishes.
    Me: No problem.  We don't even carry anchovies or shrimp, so I personally guarantee no fish.
    Lady laughs and leaves, then returns in 20 minutes for her pizza.  She asks again whether there are fish on it.  I remind her that we don't even have fish in the store.  She leaves.  Fifteen minutes later, she storms into the store.
    Lady: I SAID NO F@CKING FISHES! THERE ARE FISHES ALL OVER THIS PIZZA!
    Me: *perplexed* I'm sorry, ma'am, but there's no way there are fish on that pizza.  Maybe you could show me?
    Lady: *opens the box and starts picking off green peppers*  LOOK! Fishes!! Fishes!! Fishes!! Fishes!!
    Me: No, ma'am, those are green peppers.
    Lady: Oh, don't try to pull that shit on me! I know fishes! Fishes is green!  These is green.  THESE IS FISHES!!


    Me: Thank you for calling Domino's.  How can I help you?
    Caller: Do you deliver pizza?
    Me: *being in a bad mood* No, but Domino's does.
    Caller: Okay.  Thanks.
    FIVE MINUTES LATER:
    Me: Thank you for calling Domino's.  How can I help you
    Caller from before: Do you deliver pizza?
    Me: No, but Domino's does.
    Caller: Okay, thanks.
    I received this same call at least a half-dozen times before he figured it out.

    I worked at an independent restaurant which was located in the same parking lot as a McDonald's. 

    Elderly man: *stares at the menu for about ten minutes* Can I get a big mac with fries and an apple pie?
    Me: I'm sorry, sir, I think you want McDonald's.  It's next door, right over there.  But we do offer several excellent pastas and sandwiches for lunch.
    Man: No, I just want a big mac.
    Me: They can definitely help you out right over there.
    Man: So you don't have any big macs?
    Me: Nope, sorry. 
    Man: You can't make me just one?
    Me: No, sir.  We don't have hamburger patties, buns, American cheese, or pickles
    Man: WELL WHAT THE HELL KIND OF HAMBURGER PLACE IS THIS?!
    Me: It's an Italian restaurant.
    Man: I thought this was McDonald's.
    Me: Sorry
    Man: How do you expect to make any money if you don't even have hamburgers? *walks out shaking his head.*

  • RuralRebellionRuralRebellion
    Posts: 2,817Member
    LOL @LiquidPeppermint those are worthy of that notalwaysright.com site mentioned above.
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  • MarySunshineMarySunshine
    Posts: 7,953Member
    Ummm....


    So other retail stories...we used to get some doozies as regulars at the hardware store. One old guy regular came in during the hottest day of the summer and asks where the female and male hose menders are...as he's walking to the aisle he shares, "Hmmmm. Sounds kinda sexy." Then as he comes up to the counter he says, "But it's too hot for that kind of stuff" and gave me a wink.
    "I don't poop. I create magic."- ABC

    I'm as sexy as a burp mid-kiss. Watch out!

    For every loser there's one that has to win. So bite your tongue, grit your teeth and grin...
  • RosamundiRosamundi
    Posts: 1,412Member
    I worked retail for a little while, and this one is hard to forget. A lady with a severe skin disease came to my register needing help. She started touching everything on my counter and scratching herself. Every time she touched something, huge flakes of skin would slake off onto my stuff. Then she coughed and a chunk of tooth flew out of her mouth onto the floor. Gross!!!!!!
  • AloneOverseasAloneOverseas
    Posts: 2,312Member
    Rosamundi said:

    I worked retail for a little while, and this one is hard to forget. A lady with a severe skin disease came to my register needing help. She started touching everything on my counter and scratching herself. Every time she touched something, huge flakes of skin would slake off onto my stuff. Then she coughed and a chunk of tooth flew out of her mouth onto the floor. Gross!!!!!!








    Revolting!!!
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  • RuralRebellionRuralRebellion
    Posts: 2,817Member
    @Rosamundi that's so gross!  That reminded me of when I worked in the pharmacy.  There was a guy who also had a bad skin condition, not THAT bad, but he still looked gross (I know, they can't help it).  But he was addicted to narcotics, so he was in pretty much every week trying to refill his Rx too soon, and we always had a lot of trouble with him and his son (also addicted to pain killers).  I just remember feeling skeeved out if his hand brushed mine when I handed him his Rx.

    And my previous post got deleted, but I still want @SnugglePuss to know that it makes no sense to be annoyed if I don't know what rubber pants are when my store doesn't carry anything even remotely associated with diapering.  If we don't carry it, I should not be expected to know about it.  As with any requests for something we don't have, if I DO know where they can find it, I WILL tell them.

    Even the other night a really nice couple were looking for a warmer snow suit or something similar for their soon-to-be newborn.  We don't have anything small enough/were out of stock on most of our snow suits and I suggested that maybe even Walmart might have some.  My sales are not commission based, so I don't have a problem sending people elsewhere to find what they need.  If I'm as helpful as I possibly can be, they'll be back anyway.
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  • Buggy_Boo
    Posts: 209Member
    I worked at a small bookstore for years.  We didn't have a coffee shop or anything like that but we did set up a small table with 2 chairs by the front door/window for people to use but would sometimes move the table and chairs if we had to set up a display in the window.  One day an older gentleman with a cane came in a turned to where the tables and chairs used to be . . .

    ME: "Welcome to Chapter 11 Books.  How are you today?"
    CUSTOMER: "Where'd you move it?"
    ME: "I'm sorry, sir.  Move what?"
    CUSTOMER: "The damn chairs."
    ME: (Trying not to laugh.) "Oh, I'm sorry.  They're right here."  (I gesture to the new location of the table and chairs, about 10 feet from the old location.)
    CUSTOMER: "Well, why the hell did you have to move them?  Good Lord!" (He stomps over to the chairs.)
    ME: "Well, we had to move them to make room for the Easter display."
    CUSTOMER: (Shaking his cane at me, extremely irate.)  "So now you're going to blame it on Jesus?!"
  • RedTiger
    Posts: 535Member
    I used to work at gas stations too. You would not believe how times I have been cussed out for refusing to sell cigerettes to someone's kid. I'm like "you're pissed because I won't sell your 10 yr old cigarettes? Really? Why don't you think about that for awhile,ok?" Then to make it worse I had to refuse to sell them cigarettes.
  • RuralRebellionRuralRebellion
    Posts: 2,817Member
    @RedTiger that doesn't surprise me.  In fact, on notalwaysright.com (which I'm now addicted to) I was just reading a story involving that.  I thought it was hilarious.

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  • LiquidPeppermintLiquidPeppermint
    Posts: 841Member
    I also worked for a company who did C-band satellite programming before the advent of Dish/DirecTV satellite.  I did the actual turning on/off of programming after requests were made to our call center or via mail. 

    Every single day, an elderly lady would call at 9PM sharp to request that her programming be turned off, then call again the next morning at 8 AM to have it turned on.  One day, she just stopped calling, and the call center guy who'd taken her last call was at lunch one day, so I asked him how he'd convinced her to stop calling.

    Call Center Guy: Thank you for calling Programming.  How may I help you?
    Lady: I'd like my Programming shut down for the evening.
    Call Center Guy: Of course we'd be happy to do it.  But I see in the notes that you call every day to have it turned on and off.  We can set you up on a schedule if you're away from home and need it off. 
    Lady: I'm not away from home.  I'm here. 
    Call Center Guy: Then, so that we can serve you better, would you tell me why you like your service off at night?
    Lady: *whispers* Oh, don't you know? The Government watches me while I'm sleeping.  They use the satellites to get into my bedroom through the TV.  If I have the programming off, they can't watch me sleep.
    Call Center Guy: Well, Ma'am, I had that problem, too, for a long time.  I found that if I just throw a blanket over the TV before bed, the government can't see ANYTHING going on in my home!
    Lady: Well, thank you for that, young man.  Go ahead and leave my programming on for tonight, then.  Maybe that will work!

    She never called back again.


    At the same place, I did "mail" programming, where we changed programming based on notes written on bills (you'd be surprised at how many there are!)  Mostly, it was people bitching about how they liked the kids' programming on HBO, but that they wished we'd do something about the dirty stuff late at night (of course, we couldn't do anything about what showed on a particular channel--only turn channels on or off).

     One of the saddest things I've ever read came from doing that mail.  It was just a note written by a clearly arthritic hand.  It said, "Please change the name on my bill from Mr. Jones to Mrs.Jones.  Mr Jones don't live here no more.  He died."  I don't know why, but that's stuck with me ever since.
  • CrashCrash
    Posts: 10,571Member
    I used to help run the restaurant my husband owns, and I worked every station at some point. Bartender, waitress, bouncer, cook, you name it, I've done it. We get people all the time ordering stuff that we don't, won't, and never have, cooked. People wanting to order chow mein (We're not a chinese restaurant!), shrimp on pizza (small town, shrimp is hella pricey and people are cheap), but what I really loved was when people would say, to my face, that they "Had chicken nachos last week! I sat right here, and I ordered them, and I got them!" Well, you know what. I'm the cook. I'm fairly sure that not only did I *not* cook chicken nachos last week, but I have never cooked any in my life! I make a pretty mean plate of nachos, and chicken has never been used. I mean, I guess I could....but why lie about it? 

    Then there was the guy who ordered a pizza, but he didn't want it until he left the bar. So he tells me this: "After the pizza is cooked, can you open the box, lay some parchment paper across the top, close the lid, turn the whole box over carefully, and then open the bottom? So it doesn't get soggy. I guarantee that you'll get a lot more repeat business this way." Uhuh. I'm envisioning 30 or 40 pizzas strung out over the whole kitchen, upside down with the bottoms up. No. Just....no.
    Why be a king when you can be a God?
  • momofdbbmomofdbb
    Posts: 10,900Member
    I worked at a bookstore and did some of well everything. One day ( my last day ) a man came in and asked for the book he specal ordered. He got a postcard in the mail. Ok so I looked in the hold section. No book ! I looked in the ready to be reshelfed because no one had picked it up yet , no book ! Then I notice on the card the man was holding , it came from a diffrent store ! It was ordered at a diffrent bookstore , sme company diffrent location ! I asked to see his card again , explaining I think you came to the wrong store. I can look and see which one it is and we can either get it brought here in a day or so , or I can call them and they can hold it longer so you can pick it up. He started yelling at me that I was stupid and I was holding his book and should be fired ! That he called in the order and he knew Damm well where he called and it was here! I yelled back at him today is my last day so I don't give a flying fart anyway !
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