they are killing me!!!
  • BreakOutQueenBreakOutQueen
    Posts: 457Member
    My teenagers are sucking the ever living soul outta me!! Irs like, I want to throttle them, or my heart is breaking for them.. I feel like a teenager myself being all "emo' and confused about how to handle shit. Geeze!! #-o Rant. Sorry lol!! #-o @-)
  • KacerpieKacerpie
    Posts: 1,119Member
    I don't envy you one bit, that being said, good luck, take a deep breath and open a beer or pour yourself a drink.
    "Please don't talk mom... It makes my brain work..."
  • MorganD
    Posts: 3,436Member
    I don't have a clue how to help you with this one...my eldest just turned 5. Still, *hugs*!!
  • BreakOutQueenBreakOutQueen
    Posts: 457Member
    Short of being a complete bitch and wanting to knock sense in them, but not, I think the problem is they don't respect me enough. They aren't bad kids. But I don't know..stupid? How do I get them to snap to like Dad does? They are currently begging me to stop riding their asses all the time because the drama makes everything worse. ITS THEIR FUCKING DRAMA THAT GOT ME HERE!?! Nothing about my household runs smoothly. Its a freaking disaster in one way or another, no matter how approach teaching them and making them do more, Nothing goes smoothly. I got my husband being very supportive, but he doesn't actually Do the chores etc. It bugs me but at the same time, who wants to work all the time and come home and deal with kids and bullshit And clean. I get it. Anyway..I was in the past too soft and now I have been putting my foot down. But its not like Ever put up with Bullshit either. So What The Fuck..
  • PurpleFlowersPurpleFlowers
    Posts: 6,043Member
    I could have wrote that @breakoutqueen! obviously, I don't have answers, but heres a big hug for ya'! >:D<
    Stay away from my chocolate and nobody gets hurt!

    I think I like who I am becoming...
  • forkinthehead
    Posts: 482Member
    When my kids were teens and were acting ungreatful, snotty, the world revolves around me kind of people...I would have visions of that cartoon boxing glove that would burst through the room and smack down and squash whatever cartoon character...in stead of the cartoon creature, I would picture whatever kid was being a twerps..face.

    My kids are so lucky my vision never came to light. They could have ended up looking like flatsies.
  • undercoverbanana
    Posts: 12,609Member

    part of it is that because you are mom, they just expect you to do for them. normal enough. time to put a little doubt in their heads.

    sorry.....i FORGOT to wash your clothes. i was busy. like YOU forgot to feed the dog, and take out the trash.

    no, i'm not giving you money/and/or a ride to go to the movies. you were a total asshole to me this morning and you hurt my feelings.

    if they are old enough to be snots, they are old enough to know that their behavior has repercussions. even with mom.

    i'm nekkid.
  • BreakOutQueenBreakOutQueen
    Posts: 457Member
    I have been on them like stink on shit for months, How freakin long does it take??? I have been Not doing a lot (clothes etc etc). They still have rocks in their heads. Had another loong sad boohoo talk with dh last night. He admitted that he hasn't been a very good husband. Hmm..

    I always hear that "blink blink" cartoon sound that you will hear when a character looks at another in utter disbelief and confusion. I want the big boxing glove
    :-))
  • undercoverbanana
    Posts: 12,609Member
    and the big mallet.
    i'm nekkid.
  • ZidashaZidasha
    Posts: 831Member
    I like @undercoverbanana idea.  

    My mommy tried that when we got older.  She did everything for us and than finally had enough when we were teenagers.  It was very hard because we were used to her doing everything for so long.  I came around from the get go, my brother on the other hand...not so much.

    The only thing I can say is stick to your guns.  I don't know how old they are but if they are teenagers than they are fully capable of taking care of themselves.  Washing their own cloths, making their own school lunches and maybe possibly making dinner at least once a week or something.  If you have to, throw away or hide anything of theirs that they leave out. 
    "I have a theory that placenta is brain matter I push out, so with each child I get dumber and dumber." ~ Unknown

  • BreakOutQueenBreakOutQueen
    Posts: 457Member
    I am..I am..I am..

    Like, I am so OVER it, I just dont give a shit now. I am losing my oompf.I know if I don't stay on it it wont change blah blah blah..

    Its not rocket science. So why do I have to explain every fucking last detail for hours to make you do it...Just freakin look around use your brain right? No. So.Thats where I am. Lost my fight.
  • BreakOutQueenBreakOutQueen
    Posts: 457Member
    Oh yeah. Acme. THE ANVIL muuaahaahaa!!
  • cornwallus24
    Posts: 30Member
    I have a 17year old that is becoming real close to winding up on a milk carton:) Joking I think
  • BreakOutQueenBreakOutQueen
    Posts: 457Member
    I am so glad its not just me, in all seriousness. I appreciate your comments and support. I am a good mom! This sucks donkey balls!!
  • BreakOutQueenBreakOutQueen
    Posts: 457Member
    Snort..snort.. Haha!!!..I just looked at my last two sentences. :-))
    Guess my good mom status could be questionable if I put it that way... But really, I can't imagine donkey balls being like tootsie pops. Really don't want to see how many licks it takes to get the center.. >-)
  • BeachChairMama
    Posts: 60Member
    I get the blank "blink, blink" look from #1 all the time. I've told her that I can't keep rescuing her. She has to learn to think like an adult if she wants the perks of being treated like one.

    Teens are like toddlers - inside they are going through a lot of changes and do need a lot of structure and support to get through it. Clear rules with immediate, clear, consistent follow-through. I save my rages for the big safety stuff like sexting (took #1 six months to earn her smartphone back; it took her three weeks to earn back my old crappy phone with no camera or texting and two to earn her bedroom door back on the hinges. She knows that's nothing compared to what her grandparents would have done to her).

    Ultimately, #1 is still a little kid in so many ways, even though she is almost 18. Let them figure out how to do things their way (where safety and basic hygiene permit). If an adult did some of things they do, what would you do?
  • GingersnapGingersnap
    Posts: 9,696Member
    @BreakoutQueen - how's it going?

    I don't have teens yet, so I'm no help.
    image
    “The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.” ― Joseph Campbell
  • JustJulia
    Posts: 86Member
    After the asking then the yelling and threats of phone internet tv going off, that got me nowhere.
    So i got quiet. I would just walk into where they were and wait till they looked at me then quietly say 1 word. Normally a chore like Bin, Dishes or whatever else they should have already done. Look at them like i can't be trusted to say more, then just as quietly walk out.  I think they are so used to us ranting and raving at them that the quiet scares them a little, they think we are at our breaking point, breaking the internet phone and tv. It's a bit like picking your arguments though used seldom but when needed.

  • BreakOutQueenBreakOutQueen
    Posts: 457Member
    I love your methods:) I do the quiet thing. But the ranting and raving is because I have worn out ny other tactics. And yes, they are So Much like toddlers. I know they sometimes * Do Not Compute * That's where I have been too patient and they run all over me.
    Now, they do chores with less complaining Every time. They perform better when Dad is in charge, but getting there for me. I say what I need to say and they usually get going. Still have to make them redo things, a time or 3 and it drives them nuts.
    Its like time for them.all yo just straighten up ya know? Oh, and did decide that first of all, I hate how it feels to be so mad and yell, so I am just not..except when I found ds's pocket knife open on the floor. LOST MY SHIT! And he wants ninja stuff? Hell no!
    I would say getting there. Chillin out a bit for now- its Christmas ya know? I just want peace dude
    \m/
  • MamaZ
    Posts: 4Member
    It is definitely not just you!!! I have an almost 18-year-old boy and an almost 13-year-old girl. My son suffers from insomnia and depression, and at times can be very mean, but generally a good kid. He sure does disrespect me though. He thinks that because I don't work outside the house, I should do all his laundry, cooking, etc. (I do make meals-he wants snacks brought to him too.) His sister is better, but is picking up on all this. My son is very unmotivated--hard to tell when he will graduate from high school. Sometimes the depression makes it so he can't get to school, but sometimes it's just crap.
  • mutha
    Posts: 1Member
    I'm in same boat.. I have two teens and  a 11 yo and there are constant problems. I have a completely stressed out teen trying to get into a hard program at uni, and another that it is getting completely crappy marks at school and likes to call me useless and a fucking bitch for fun. My husband works long hours and seems to think that he does not need to take part in raising them except for a good paycheck. I'm tired.
  • BreakOutQueenBreakOutQueen
    Posts: 457Member
    @MUTHA...I think its time to deal out some throat punches and we can go drink about it! Whatcha say??