Did You Have a Preference?
  • CrashCrash
    Posts: 10,571Member
    Have any strong preferences for gender while preggo?

    Please, not a boy,’ I hissed at my sister Harriet. ‘If it’s a boy, I’ll just die. I can only deal with one man in my life... and sometimes that’s one too many.’I’d just announced my second pregnancy, and a nagging fear that had started from the moment I saw my positive pregnancy test weeks earlier had grown into a full-blown conviction that I felt ashamed to admit out loud. I really didn’t want a boy.Please don’t condemn me. I know very little about boys, coming from a family of all girls, but what I have seen I really haven’t liked. Boys are gross; they attack their siblings with sticks, are obsessed with toilets, casually murder local wildlife and turn into disgusting teenage boys and then boring, selfish men.My husband Giles and I already have one girl, 22-month-old Kitty, and my second pregnancy had been so different and so much worse than my first, with horrid morning sickness from the outset, that I was starting to panic that there was something radically different about it, i.e. there was that alternative, dreaded gender in the mix. There were reasons why I could confess my boy aversion only to my sister. Mothers who declare a gender preference out loud are breaking a huge taboo — the acceptable thing to say is that your only care is that the child is healthy and happy.If someone is rude enough to press you, you must stare off into the distance with a martyrish look on your face and say: ‘Well, I suppose it would be nice to have one of each.’ And then you leave it there.If you are like Victoria Beckham or Jools Oliver and already have three of one gender, you are allowed to hope for one or the other, but that’s the only situation in which it’s acceptable to have any opinion. Otherwise you are just a bit monstrous and ungrateful — what about all the women who can’t have children at all?But the truth is I like girls, I understand girls and I’ve always dreaded the idea of having a boy. People say how emotionally uncomplicated boys are and how manipulative and fussy girls are. But what use is a plain-speaking boy to me? I wouldn’t know where to start. I know exactly where I am with girls and their petty mind games. I’ve played them myself. I’m a Grand Master of them. 
    But alas, it seemed Mother Nature had other ideas. The other day, I lay in the sonographer’s office as he moved the ultrasound wand over my already-fat stomach, and my worst fears were confirmed.‘There are the hands, there . . .’ he said. He moved the wand around for the ‘up-skirt shot’ as my husband calls it. ‘And there are the soles of the little feet,’ he cooed. There was a loaded silence as we both stared at the white smudge on the screen between the legs.‘Oh God, is it a boy?!’ I said, a little bit too loudly.‘Well,’ said the sonographer. ‘You can’t confirm anything at 12 weeks, you really have to wait to 20 weeks to be sure, but . . . it does look suspicious, doesn’t it?’I felt light-headed; was the nausea I was feeling from morning sickness or horror at the prospect of a man-child?Out on the street I dialled Giles, with a shaking hand. He feels exactly the same as I do. His adoration, worship, love and fanatical devotion to our daughter since the day of her birth has made the idea of having a boy unthinkable.  

    When he picked up the telephone he told me he was drawing bees and cats with Kitty in her big drawing book (the one with the flowery cover, and using an assortment of strawberry scented, glittery pens with pink feathers on the ends).‘Had the scan,’ I blurted out. ‘All fine, only one head, in the right place and all that. And, it looks like it might be . . .’ I stalled, praying he would be more enthusiastic about the prospect of a boy than me ‘. . . a BOY!’‘Oh,’ said Giles. ‘Great!’ But I could tell his heart wasn’t in it.He wants only girls in his life, he confessed later. Sweet little girls who will stroke his face, kiss his nose and say ‘Love you Daddy’, not little boys with their dramatic weeing, endless reeling off of statistics, messiness and demands to kick around a football on freezing, dank Sunday mornings.He has been badly affected by a tale he was told by a father of three boys, describing how he’d spent a beach holiday last year.‘I was being Action Dad, throwing Frisbees, rock pooling, hurling myself into waves,’ said the dad. ‘It was exhausting. We were pitched on the beach next to a dad of two girls and he was reading a book while they brushed his hair, fetched him beer and painted his toenails. I love my boys but it did look like this guy was having a pretty amazing holiday.’This story still ringing in his ears, I knew that Giles wouldn’t be any more thrilled than I was about our impending arrival — a fact which made me feel even more guilty.What is wrong with us? How could I — how could we — be so mean and cold as to have such a strong preference as to the gender of our unborn child? There’s a reason that it’s taboo to admit to these feelings: they are deeply unpleasant.Yet they are not entirely without foundation.Neither Giles nor I come from a family of men. Indeed, we are from families of women. I have three sisters. My husband has one sister. My mother has two sisters, as does my father. When casually discussing the issue of fidelity, one Christmas my father looked up from the historical biography he was engrossed in and said: ‘An affair is out of the question for me; I need another woman in my life like I need a hole in the head.’ Then he held out his teacup for a refill.It is little wonder we are suspicious of little boys. Deeply, deeply suspicious. I once read a survey that had found families with two girls were the happiest and I chose to believe it completely.It’s not just me. Mumsnet identifies the phenomenon of the SMOG — the Smug Mother Of Girls. They love their little girls and find boys yucky, noisy, smelly, boisterous and destructive. At playgroups, they will draw their girls closer to them when any boy comes within three feet.It used to be that having children was just a biological imperative — you are born, you grow up, you have children and that’s it. It’s now a lifestyle choice. You’re not just a mother, you’re a Yummy Mummy, or a Boden Mum, or a Hippy Mum, a Working Mum, or a Slummy Mummy. You are a type, a tribe, a sort.To offset the occasional hardship and boredom of looking after small children, you get in return a fashion accessory to mould in your own image, or a crazy idealised image you saw in a magazine.Little girls, with their own interest in wholesome things and willingness to have their hair done and to wear dainty shoes, fit in with this ridiculous pursuit of the picturesque and the perfect in a way that riotous little boys do not.For most boys don’t want to do nice things like baking, colouring in, and making up their own dances to Disney theme songs. They want to kill ants and shout, wee in clean laundry, break things, hurl cricket balls through windows and upset next door’s cat.And, in the end, your boys will leave you for another woman. They will get girlfriends, who will be hateful and wilful and annoying.These girls might even — horror! — marry your son and take him, and your grandchildren, away for ever. It is the mother of the bride who is the centre of attention, it is the maternal grandmother who traditionally gets the action with the grandchildren.  You stand to lose  everything!Yet, despite my fears, rationally speaking, I know I am being unfair. Of all the little boys I know — and I know an awful lot, including my three nephews — I only know two who are really horrid, whom I avoid because they are so violent and crazed.My nephews can be charming with my daughter, throwing balls to her or bringing her toys they think she might like. They laugh until they cry when she takes a long drink of water and then gasps ‘Ahhh!’And, by the same token, I  know several vile little girls, who snatch and scream and throw tantrums and narrow their eyes at my daughter and shriek ‘No babies allowed!’ because she is a few months younger than them.More to the point, there is no getting away from the fact that my new baby is a boy, and I have no choice but to get used to it. I will have to get used to a different nappy-changing experience and accept that there will be a lot more plastic dinosaurs in the house.I must put aside my daydreams of Kitty and her little sister holding hands, dressed as fairies or angels. I will have to get used to the  house being much noisier and being held up in the kitchen at plastic-cutlass point. I will just have to hope that Kitty and her brother can find things that they like doing together.This will be helped by the fact that, if I’m honest, Kitty isn’t exactly like the little girls in the Boden catalogue: she won’t let me put her hair in bunches and she’s fond of heading straight to the most enormous, stinking puddle she can find and jumping in it.In fact, while my husband and I might be worried about a little boy spoiling our vision for a sweet-smelling, calm little family with a fondness for all things pink, Kitty would probably like nothing better than a baby brother with whom she can get muddy.Although if I send him off to  playgroup wearing a tutu, that’s my business...


    Why be a king when you can be a God?
  • meandmy243meandmy243
    Posts: 9,474Member
    I wanted a girl so bad my first words were "fuck its another boy" but i was happy by the time i left.
    let them eat cake! because id rather have pie!!!
  • LLBLLB
    Posts: 5,622Member
    I got 1 of each my first go round so I was very happy with that. This time I was happy either way! i just wanted another little baby whether they had a penis or a vagina.

    I'd be lying if I said I wasn't hoping for a boy though. This is most likely our last baby and I wanted my son to have a little brother.

    My SIL has 2 girls and none of my brothers are planning on children in the near future. My poor son is the only little boy and he feels left out a lot if times. So it wasn't really for me but rather my son that I was hoping for a boy.

    Alas it's another little girl and I am still over the moon! :-)
  • GrainneGrainne
    Posts: 1,028Member
    Boys are awesome!
  • momsaidnomomsaidno
    Posts: 1,796Member
    First was a boy I was 17 with 3 sisters. I knew nothing about boys!!! I was a mortified 17yr old girl crying how I didn't want a boy. So i used to paint his nails with clear polish and let him dress up in tutus. He is loving, caring and thoughtful 8yr old.

    Next at 21 came a girl. She was almost ten lbs at birth so no tiny cute dresses I bought fit. She is now a skinny 5yr old tom boy :( she will wear a dress sometimes if I beg her. But she likes her hair cut short and hates her earring's in.

    last is my youngest 4yr old son who is allllllll boy!!!!! Worms mud dirt jumping screaming walking on the ceiling

  • StarsStars
    Posts: 1,145Member
    I won't lie.  When I was pregnant all I could see was having a girl.  Ultrasound #1 It's a boy ....oh ok.  Ultrasound #2 its a boy...I actually cried at that announcement because we had already discussed this would be our last.  But I've made my peace with it.  I figured for some reason I wasn't meant to have a daughter because in all likelihood I'd have killed her or myself.  I say this in jest of course but there's a small amount of truth because girls while sweet and spice ...they can be total bitches and frankly there's only room enough for this bitch in my house where I reign as queen :D 
    apsycho

  • DaisyChainDaisyChain
    Posts: 369Member
    I thought i was having a boy.. i was POSITIVE i was having a boy.. i was happy and excited and really looking forward to it... turns out its a girl.. now im happy and excited and looking forward to it anyway and this little story just made me even more excited about it :)
  • Quietmom
    Posts: 2,986Member
    I knew I was having a boy both times. The second time I cried because I really truly wanted a girl. I lost my third which was a girl (I know it was in my heart), and I just don't think a girl is in the cards for me. If we do though, I'll be praying for that girl even though the boys I've encountered have been generally easier than the snotty bratty girls I've encountered.
    Like a river and a waterfall, a strong person channels their own path...
  • SpringSpring
    Posts: 2,084Member
    I was beyond certain Dd was a boy. She's definitely all girl- all dresses, hair bows and dolls for this kid. I cried when they told me though. I was soooo sure. I wanted a boy very badly. I really want a second girl now. I can't picture a boy.
    "Sometimes I question my sanity. Sometimes it replies."
  • irishlassirishlass
    Posts: 7,057Member
    I knew B was a boy. I was at an all girls school and I have 3 sisters. I couldnt bear the thought of having a girl!! It just scared the shit out of me. 
    I am much better with boys than girls! I have only ever looked after one girl who wasnt a total brat. Boys arent bratty in the same way. Things are more straight-forward with them. I think. 

    I know what I am doing here is totally gender stereotyping, which is so totally NOT what I stand for. But unfortunately my experience leads me to believe that they are kindof different species. 

    btw, my son will be getting a train set and a tea set for christmas. 
    "Be who you are and say what you feel. Because those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter." - Dr. Seuss
  • mamafinmamafin
    Posts: 892Member
    When we found out DS was a boy at 20 week scan, I felt sad for a moment. "Not having a girl, no dresses, no girly stuff..." It would have been the same if he was a girl, feeling sad that he wasn't a boy.


    I don't care if the next baby (if we decide to try) is a boy or a girl. It would be nice to have a boy and a girl, but it would also be great to have two boys.


    My son is gentle, artistic (as much a 2,5yo can be), he likes to cook and take care of his dolls, he is loving, likes to cuddle and kiss  AND he loves fast cars, trains, running and "other boy stuff".

    I don't believe in girls are something and boys are the opposite. It's all about the personality.
    Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers
  • missmama5missmama5
    Posts: 6,874Member
    I had a boy first, and this baby is a girl. Exactly what I always wanted. :) lucky me!
  • PJSaregreatPJSaregreat
    Posts: 356Member
    I was a little disappointed I didn't have a girl, but I wouldn't change my 3 boys for anything. I actually am glad now I didn't have a girl and I feel sorry for whoever in our family has the next girl because they are so scarce and will be completely spoiled, lol. I have my 3 sons, 4 brothers (3 living, 1 in Heaven), 1 sister, 9 nephews, and just 1 niece who just had a baby boy. Lots of BOYS!!! :)
  • Katescrazymom
    Posts: 2,839Member
    I went back and forth a few times with dd but figured, I'm a girl, I have two sister, I can do this. And with girls you encourage the whole 'you can do anything' girl power thing.
    With ds I kind of assumed he would be another girl. I have issues with change :P
    I thought it would be nice for dd to have a sister, and to reuse the girly stuff. I was thinking I was going to regret not getting more pink stuff (car seats, high chairs) I was surprised when the tech said boy, I'm not sure why, it's usually a 50-50 chance!
    My children fit the stereo types. I swear ds learned to walk so he could carry two cars/trucks/trains instead of pushing one. He also finds farts funny, and has no sense of self preservation. He's still getting a doll for Christmas.
    Dd loves pretty, glittery and girly. Dh tried his best to get her into cars, and she does like them, too, but it's not even close as to who is more into them.
    I think I'll always be a bit sorry that my kids don't have a same sex sibling, but they adore each other.
  • PurpleFlowersPurpleFlowers
    Posts: 6,043Member
    With my 2nd, when I found out I was having another boy, I cried. My Dh thought they were tears if joy. They were not! I was so upset because I wanted a girl so bad. I believe in my heart that both miscarriages were girls. Guess I was just meant to have boys for whatever reason.
    Stay away from my chocolate and nobody gets hurt!

    I think I like who I am becoming...
  • fatchickonabikefatchickonabike
    Posts: 6,590Member
    I knew DD was a girl. I have always known, since I was a kid myself, that if I ever had kids, the eldest would be a girl. Of course, I had a 50% chance of being right on that one. I don't think I would quite know what to do with a boy, either, although if I had one I know I would adore him.
    Part of growing up is learning to forgive your parents for being human.
  • AKimiBAKimiB
    Posts: 1,809Member
    I didn't really have a gender preference, but dh was really really hoping for a boy both go-rounds.
    But now he's wrapped around two little fingers.
    SMSM_s_5 photo SMSM_s_5_zps5d122d86.jpg
  • tothemoonandbacktothemoonandback
    Posts: 3,934Member
    I don't know if I really had a preference, I thought DS was a girl.. my gut feeling was off (obviously).  I was surprised and sort of thinking I didn't know what to do with a boy, but I've adored having a son.
    Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius, and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring. - Marilyn Monroe
  • GritsGrits
    Posts: 4,370Member
    First baby, I didn't care. It was a girl, and we were both elated.

    Second baby, I was hoping for a boy, but kind of relieved when it was a girl...I already knew what to do. DH wasn't so excited...we thought that was our last and he really wanted a boy.

    Third baby, I wasn't too happy about being pregnant again, but hoped and prayed for a boy. I got one, and Oh.My.God what have I done?? LOL DH and I were both super excited, but he's not a year old yet and already soooo different from his sisters.

    Mostly I was just happy to have very healthy babies, and now I'm done. A fourth would probably kill me. :D
    "I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day, and I believe in miracles." ~Audrey Hepburn
  • squishsquish
    Posts: 1,107Member
    I really had no preference when I got pregnant. I only wanted a girl because I would chose the name and she would be my little volleyball player. That was the deal Dh and I made. If it was a boy, he chose the name and sport. The day before the 13 week downs test, I knew it was a boy. Just knew. I was more upset that I didn't get a volleyball player since baseball and men's volleyball run in the same season.

    I love my son. He's awesome and a whirlwind and exhausting and the sweetest little thing that likes to scare his mom with his lack of fear and penchant for climbing and jumping.

    I'm actually more scared to have a girl when we get pregnant again (now that Dh is back on the second baby bandwagon). I have a ton of sisters and a niece but I don't think I would know what to do.
  • MorganD
    Posts: 3,436Member
    At first, I was hoping for a girl. After all, I didn't know jack about boys. But now that I have 3 boys, I would be happy with another, or a girl. Really, it doesn't matter...as long as the baby is healthy. Being a mom is awesome, boy or girl...and even if I decide to adopt someday, it'll be wonderful. :)
  • KacerpieKacerpie
    Posts: 1,119Member
    I didn't care up until my last. My 3rd was a boy and I wanted another girl
    I didn't want to have to share my mommy/son bond with anyone else. So the finally score is 3 DD 1 DS.
    "Please don't talk mom... It makes my brain work..."
  • serenitynowserenitynow
    Posts: 2,210Member

    with baby #1, i thought a boy would be nice because then he would always be the older brother to everyone else. but i wanted a girl because i liked the name we picked. didn't know until she came out what she was going to be.

    baby #2, wanted a boy and i was so sure it was a boy because my pregnancy was complete opposite of the first. also couldn't find out until SHE came out. we were so sure it was a boy that we didn't even pick a girls name until 2 days before and i said just in case, we do need a girl name.

    baby #3, we really wanted a boy this time. i went for my us and the baby flipped really quick and the tech said, i'm pretty sure it's a boy. i was not completely convinced because it was so quick and after that, the baby would not cooperate. so i bought a couple blue blankets but everything else was neutral. but we finally got our boy!

    and this baby, #4, was not at all shy and very cooperative at the us so we know it's a boy. dh wanted a boy and i did just to even things out. but i really wanted a girl because i was gonna go all girly this time with stuff since i couldn't with my other girls. pink bouncer, pink toys, minnie mouse car seat/stroller, loved the name we had in mind.....maybe we should try once more after this one...

  • cheesehead4ever
    Posts: 1,139Member
    First baby, DH didn't care. I wanted a girl so bad. Everyone kept telling me (at least 28 people, I counted) that I was having a boy. I knew in my heart I was having a girl. We wanted to be surprised at birth, so we didn't know. The only ones who thought I was having a girl were myself and both my parents. She was a girl!
    Second time we lost the baby/babies at 16 weeks. We have many reasons to suspect twins but never found out the genders.
    Third time, I was much more open to a boy, but was still hoping a little for another girl. DH was absolutely praying for another girl. Boys scared him because all the ones we knew were wild and crazy. DH told me the whole pregnancy it was a waste of time to pick out a boys name or have a boy outfit for the hospital just in case. He was right. We have two girls and we are absolutely thrilled with both of them. In fact he gets pissed off at people who suggest we go for a third so we can try for a boy. He finds those people downright insulting.
  • SaraMommySaraMommy
    Posts: 878Member

    Our first (and only) we didn't find out gender and we really didn't care one way or the other. I went back and forth between thinking it was a boy and girl. I would've loved to have either, but I was a little nervous about a girl because I was afraid I wouldn't know how to fix her hair. Silly, yes, but I was scared. Plus I knew I would be in big trouble shopping because girls clothes are always so much cuter and the dresses, oh my! I would've gone into debt! But anyway, we had a boy!! I love it! He loves all boy things, but he also loves to cook and occasionally be sweet with his boy baby doll. And he is just so much fun! :) WHen baby #2 happens, I don't know for sure, but we will probably be leaning towards having another boy, but I would be just as happy with a girl!

  • sunnymommasunnymomma
    Posts: 2,171Member
    I wanted a boy, I got a girl, my ultrasound tech the day she was born let it slip that she was a boy!!! I was so excited for 44 mins until I heard the words its a girl!!!! my first words were its a what? eh ya win some ya lose some. I still want a boy, but there are no babies in my future :(
    I am me, and I am loved
  • shate98shate98
    Posts: 5,020Member
    I really wanted a girl. I was disappointed at the sonogram when we got the one finger salute, but I still love my little boy. However, DH has been directed to get his sperm in order, because the next one WILL be a girl. :P
    "As you wander through your life, whatever be your goal,
    keep your eye upon the doughnut, not upon the hole."
  • 1edieb
    Posts: 27Member
    We have a gorgeous 8 year old DD through international adoption and started the "paperchase" for 2 more.  DD and DH want girls...I want one of each.  I love my DD and all that goes with having a daughter who is a girly girl...but I want a boy.  A little rough and tumble , bug catching boy ... I have DD kinda on my side ...now working on DH.
  • TheHeadacheslayer
    Posts: 2,472Member
    I had NO experience with little boys until I was in college, so the idea of a son scared the willies out of me! I LOVED having a girl. 

    BUT.

    I starting wondering what life would be like with a boy. One of each. And then DD announced she WAS having a brother. We never got a clear shot so it was a surprise at birth (and we were at home to boot). DD got to announce it was A BOY--then she flashed her smile at me and later said "I TOLD YOU!"

    I love having both. I can truly understand why someone would have a preference. I mean I really wanted a daughter so badly I was thrilled when they said we were having a girl. And honestly, if we'd had DS FIRST, there might not have been a second ;)

    If we look into adoption I would prefer another girl. My daughter is not a girly girl and my son is too afraid to let me paint his nails LOL. But I would be open to either---or even siblings of both genders.
  • Texas
    Posts: 103Member
    With my first I really wanted a girl. I KNEW I was having a girl. My then husband wanted a girl as well since he already had a boy. When the ultrasound tech finally announced she was a girl, I was elated.
    With number two, I wanted another girl. Dh was out of the picture and I had no idea what to do with a boy. Neither would he but that's beside the point. This pregnancy was different from the last one and I didn't think I could get that lucky again, but I did. Another beautiful girl. 
    I'm not ashamed to admit that I do not want a boy. Current dh goes back and forth about wanting a bio kid of his own. I personally would be fine not having a child of either gender. I have my two girls and I feel like they are plenty. 
  • beachmommybeachmommy
    Posts: 3,760Member

    When I became pregnant with my DS, I had myself convinced it was a girl.  Idk why exactly...but I think it was bc I didn't want to get my hopes up.  When we found out he was a boy- we both nearly screamed with joy.

    DH wants to start trying for #2...I am terrified at the thought of having a girl.   I wouldn't know what to do with her...and the thought of her getting knocked up or dealing with the crazy teen years.  NO THANKS. 

    My beach is still Sandy....
  • RedHeadMamaNCRedHeadMamaNC
    Posts: 165Member
    I always envisioned myself with a boy and that's what I got. Luckily, SO brought dss into the situation. I don't know what id do with a girl! If god has a cruel sense of humor and I ever conceive again, I think I'd be happy either way, but would definitely be crossing my fingers, toes and eyes for another boy!
  • onetimeonetime
    Posts: 2,223Member
    I absolutely loved this article! Thanks for sharing! I wanted a boy the first time, oh goodness, I could not imagine the emotional trauma a girl would have brought to my already intensely emotional self! Whew, I was relieved that D was a boy. Then when we found out we were having C, it was "ALL GIRL" in our minds. All girl, who would wear little bows in her hair, and dresses, and play tea party, and dress up. We got "ALL GIRL" all right, all girl, who prefers to be naked, won't let you even CONSIDER touching her hair, and well, the tea party lasted a couple days. Who knows where that shit went, but we sure do know where the plastic alligator and shark are. That taught me to be careful what you wish for. Just be happy with what you have, LOL.  
    Suck it up buttercup!
  • SammieSammie
    Posts: 8,345Administrator, Moderator
    I admit that the first time around I desperately wanted a girl, but I did default to "I'm happy either way!" whenever asked. I was freaking THRILLED to find out it was a little girl. My sassy little firecracker is now three. :)

    This time around, I truly didn't have a preference, but was completely and totally convinced it was a girl. I was SHOCKED when we heard "It's a boy!" Excited for a new adventure and happy, but shocked. I'm also totally with the author on the "Some woman is going to steal my baby someday!" train. I will seriously cut a bitch. He's MY son! :)

    community-manager


  • Marionettevie
    Posts: 2,729Member
    dh wanted a girl, MIL and FIL wanted a girl, my mom i think wanted a girl, but she had a dream of a girl and she knew it was a boy. i knew it was a boy, but i was a little disappointed when it was confirmed. but by the time i left the u/s place i had that quote from the movie in my head.... the kirsten dunst marie antoinette. where she has a girl when everyone wanted a boy. and she says something about her being hers instead of being the countries boy. my baby boy is mine and i love him, even if he people were a little let down.
  • shadylaneshadylane
    Posts: 3,125Member
    I desperately hoped for a boy, not b/c I really wanted a boy or even liked them but just b/c of my own experiences and seeing how its easier for boys. I used to wish I were a boy. Girls have to fight harder for the same things, deal with double standards where they're looked down on for doing the same things, act and look a certain way and be judged for their appearance, be treated as sex objects yet have their own sexual satisfaction ignored and get judged for their sexuality, be fully responsible for birth control and family planning or lack thereof, and if they have children half the time the whole burden and responsibility falls on their shoulders. Then they're expected to somehow support their family while at the same time be there for their children. Being a girl is so hard, I wouldn't wish it on my child lol. I really would have preferred a girl but at that point in my life I wasn't sure I could handle the HUGE responsibility of raising one properly, of instilling the knowledge and values to ensure she would be able to make the right choices. I was and still am terrified I'll screw it up like my mother did. In a nutshell, boys are easier, and they can't get pregnant. I cried when I found out it was a girl. But now I'm glad, she's such a girly girl, she's like me she loves fashion and shoes and purses and jewelry. One good thing about my past is that hopefully J can learn from my mistakes. Now I'm not sure if I want #2 to be a boy, I keep hearing about erections and masturbation before age 3 and I for sure don't know how to deal with that. But I do still believe that boys have it easier in life, its just the way the world works. I would have preferred to have a boy then a girl, that way she could have a big brother to protect her. But oh well what can u do right, unless ur rich and can afford to have the sperm separated
    ~slim shady~
  • TruthandjusticeTruthandjustice
    Posts: 68Member
    I got pregnant when I was 20, so I was just plain terrified, regardless of the gender! 

    I honestly didn't have a preference, but I was a little more worried about having a boy, since I had ZERO experience with them. My family consisted of my mom, me, my sister, and my dad. We had no relationship with other family members, so my dad was the only male in the family. I was worried about things like potty training and "boy stuff," but my son (only child by choice) 18 now and it seems as if things have gone well ;)
  • LargeMargeSentMe
    Posts: 120Member
    I very badly wanted my first to be a boy because my oldest sister was so bossy. I was closer to my brother, who was the middle child, and I was his little pal who followed him around. I don't dislike girls but I did not want one first so I was really happy he was a boy.

    I didn't have a preference for my second because it was a precarious pregnancy and I was really just grateful I didn't lose him. If we have a third I would like a girl just to have the experience of a daughter but another boy would still be a good thing of course. 
  • HestiaHestia
    Posts: 291Member
    Boys seem to run in my family so I was pretty sure I was having a boy . Very briefly my husband was able to convince me that we were having a girl because all of his aunts had girls and he has 3 sisters. On the other hand while I have 2 sisters I also have 7 nephews and multiple male cousins . No nieces at that time .Needless to say of course it ended up being a boy . I was excited briefly at the thought of it being a girl but then my mother would have bothered me even more lol.