What "I'm broke" means
  • boring_nameboring_name
    Posts: 670Member
    I'm so aggravated!! 

    My sister.. doesn't get it. When I say I am BROKE does NOT mean I 'only' have $2000 in savings (as she has minimally at all times). It means I got <NOTHING> .. so no.. I can't go to dinner/drinks/karaoke for Mom's birthday. Yes, it would be cool for all 8 of us to be there for her 73rd birthday... but I really can't. That is also opening night of my DD play (that I can't afford to pay to see!)... 

    Sure I'd love the $40 you owe me for babysitting.. but no I can't use that to go out. The car needs gas to get DD to school, tabs and emissions are due on the van, the water bill needs something paid on it or they will shut it off next week... shall I go on?? I have $2 in checking.. just enough to keep it from going overdrawn (thereby charging me more)... $0 in savings.. That's it.. ALL of it.. until the 1st. No I am not proud of it....no I don't want to advertise it... or talk about it.. and I sure as hell don't need a guilt trip from you as to why I am not going out with everyone. I don't want them to 'pitch in' to cover dinner/drinks for us... guess what.. if you wanna do that.. pay the water bill, or license the van, or buy DS some shoes, or help me buy a Christmas gift for one of my kids. She's been here before and STILL doesn't get it.. 


    B
  • CalliopemarieCalliopemarie
    Posts: 3,898Member
    hugs
  • PurpleFlowersPurpleFlowers
    Posts: 6,043Member

    hugs



    Ditto!
    Im with you, when I say Im broke, I mean it. I worked with a woman who would claim she was always "broke" too. One day she accidentally left her ATM receipt on the table... her balance was over $27,000!!! :O
    Stay away from my chocolate and nobody gets hurt!

    I think I like who I am becoming...
  • OUCHOUCH
    Posts: 2,936Member
    Yeah, broke means different things to different people. Drives me crazy.
    "Promote what you love instead of bashing what you hate." - UNK
    "The amazing thing about life is that you choose what you allow into it, you choose how things affect you, you choose how you react. Happiness is a choice. Make it." - UNK
    "Tattoos don't define the person, the person defines the tattoos." - Me
    “The pain now is part of the happiness then” – CS Lewis
  • missy545missy545
    Posts: 713Member
    @purpleflowers. Damn! I would have strangled her. Lol

    I know when I say I'm broke that's what I mean too. Why don't people get it!??
  • Jojo2000
    Posts: 143Guest
    I totally understand...broke means....where the heck r we going to get that next tank of gas...gallon of milk...loaf of bread ect....some people broke is well in my world i would love to be their broke lol
  • Jojo2000
    Posts: 143Guest
    Hugs to u hunny!!
  • PDXcocoPDXcoco
    Posts: 675Member
    My sister in law claims poverty, but doesn't work and has ten of thousands in her account. WTF?
  • WickedDunkieJunkieWickedDunkieJunkie
    Posts: 8,649Member
    @boring_name
    My brothers are like that. They just don't *get* it.
    WDJ_Avatar_zps4536679b
    We Are The Music Makers... And We Are The Dreamers Of Dreams...

  • boring_nameboring_name
    Posts: 670Member
    Thanks all.. it frustrates me with her most because she's been where we are... and boy does she love giving me advice on what I should "make" DH do... (when was the last time you could "MAKE" your spouse do something?? you can ask, demand, request, nag.... you can not "make".. they still have free will!) Of course none of that applied with HER first husband who never worked, used drugs, drank and used the system to his advantage repeatedly!

    No DH isn't working.. he has some mental health issues happening right now (as well as some diagnosis that explain a LOT of his prior school/work issues). He might be able to get a job (seriously might not with his credit etc he's not gotten but 1 interviews in 3 years!)... but he wouldn't be able to hold/keep the job which would just be another blow to him mentally and physically.

    I'm not working. I'm waiting. My disability is in a holding pattern to go before a judge. 
    It takes every penny to 'survive'.. there are no 'extras' in this house... the entertainment budget is $10 internet and $8 Netflix. 

    B
  • sidsmommy3sidsmommy3
    Posts: 2,522Member
    >:D< I hate broke!
    Mary :-)

    Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain.
  • shouldcleanshouldclean
    Posts: 2,808Member
    Yep, broke means how the heck are we going to make it until pay day with 3 kids and $20. I have a friend who is always broke and then goes and buys a new ipad
  • boring_nameboring_name
    Posts: 670Member
    @shouldclean exactly!! "I'm broke" doesn't equal buying your boyfriend a $300 vest and a $400 fishing trip. If I had $700 I have plenty of bills that need paid it MIGHT last an hour! 

    edit... this should be qualified with... that's AFTER telling me you aren't sure you have the $50 you owe me.

    B
  • loveitloveit
    Posts: 1,738Member
    Did you say what you said here? Maybe she doesn't understand how truly broke you are. Maybe if you spell it out for her she will get it.
  • boring_nameboring_name
    Posts: 670Member
    @loveit yes. I spelled it out clearly. I don't feel I should have to give her my bank balance for her to get that I can't afford to go out once a month much less the 3 or 4 times a week she does. 

    I try not to begrudge her what she has... but it's hard to not be jealous of her current financial situation. She works 3 days a week, gets paid to take care of her son, and pays no rent. 
    B
  • PDXcocoPDXcoco
    Posts: 675Member
    I like how she tried to tell you how to get your husband to make more money. Like it is that easy.
  • AloneOverseasAloneOverseas
    Posts: 2,312Member
    Gets paid to take care of her own kid?? I don't get that ...
    I love purple; I love cats. Imagine if cats were purple ...
  • boring_nameboring_name
    Posts: 670Member
    @AloneOverseas She is his personal care provider (he is an adult who is disabled)... He is unable to be alone.  
    B
  • AloneOverseasAloneOverseas
    Posts: 2,312Member
    Ohhhh, got ya! Completely understandable.
    I love purple; I love cats. Imagine if cats were purple ...
  • shouldcleanshouldclean
    Posts: 2,808Member
    @boring_name I'm sorry :( my mom keeps trying to get us to buy a house which we are in no danger of doing. Its very frustrating.
  • boring_nameboring_name
    Posts: 670Member
    Thanks @shouldclean DH mom is like that too.. says "I don't have any money" but offered to take us (6 of us) out to dinner.. LOL I told her I'd cook and she can give me the cash! (she offered that option after I himmed/hawed).. hey.. that $70 helped get our power turned back on!
    B
  • realtormomrealtormom
    Posts: 722Member
    Big hugs
    The past has a vote, not a veto ~ Moredecai Kaplan
  • fatchickonabikefatchickonabike
    Posts: 6,590Member
    We're doing reasonably well now, but that wasn't always the case. There have been times when I literally couldn't afford to make a five-cent photocopy. I hated being broke. I hated having to say no when someone asked me to go for coffee and having to explain that I couldn't afford it. Then the person would offer to treat me and I would either have to turn them down and feel like a jerk or accept and feel like a moocher. Hated it.
    Part of growing up is learning to forgive your parents for being human.
  • regpregp
    Posts: 1,445Member
    I totally get you. My sister says "money is tight" and then buys $5000 worth of stuff for her daughter for Christmas...
    She also tells me I need to quit my job and stay home so I don't miss any of my kids' school stuff?? How am I going to do that?? I finally asked her which bills are you going to pay so I can quit my job.
    The only thing saving you from me is Jesus.
  • PrincessPeach
    Posts: 229Member
    @boring_name
    You're not alone. I have a good friend and a sister who does that. Broke=I can't buy food or pay electric bill (or make a choice of one or the other without having to use credit card again). Broke is NOT remodeling your kitchen or going on a vacation/cruise, AGAIN.
    They don't get it and it is so embarrassing for me to not have the ability to do/buy things. I hate hearing you should...hello! I don't have a second income or other means.
  • OxiMOMOxiMOM
    Posts: 3,104Member
    I'm going to fully admit that many years ago when I was single and had a good job. I'm broke to me meant the bills are paid this month I have food and gas in my car and 3 months emergency savings. But there was no extra for going our or eating out buying gifts ect.

    Now broke means we run out of money the day we get paid and have to juggle bills. I actually really know what broke means now.
  • Um...what are "savings"?  I don't think I've ever had those!  lol
  • gramalibbygramalibby
    Posts: 3,744Member
    I have hugs for all my struggling sisters , I will not bore you with live on the end of life and SS , never seems to get better..... \:D/
  • onetimeonetime
    Posts: 2,223Member
    I hear that, broke here is.... no, I don't have a cell or cable, and I'm pleased to be only 1 payment behind on the mortgage!
    Suck it up buttercup!
  • boring_nameboring_name
    Posts: 670Member
    Thanks all.. it's nice to vent and get it out. 
    B
  • shadylaneshadylane
    Posts: 3,125Member
    I hear u on the copy thing, ironic when u can't afford to make copies of ur resume to be able to make money
    ~slim shady~
  • irishlassirishlass
    Posts: 7,057Member
    Yep, to me 'I'm broke' means I have a few coins in my purse and literally zero pounds anywhere else. If I have 40bucks in my account, I just 'can't afford to go to the movies right now' I'm not broke. I'm just going to use that money to pay the heating bill!
    "Be who you are and say what you feel. Because those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter." - Dr. Seuss
  • supamomma
    Posts: 3Member
    Oh I Hear ya Loud and clear. I'm broke too...your definition of broke, not your sisters. Every time I get paid the money is gone before I can get a look at it because of bills and rent and loans. Sometimes it feels like the dollar store is too expensive for my family...lol!
    Greatness lies not in being strong but in the right use of strength.
  • TruthandjusticeTruthandjustice
    Posts: 68Member
    That is a HUGE pet peeve of mine! When people claim they're "broke, yet they can afford to go out to eat several times per week, hang out at bars, go to concerts, etc. Makes me CRAZY.

    I have definitely been broke in the past, so I can relate to your story. 
  • boring_nameboring_name
    Posts: 670Member
    @Truthandjustice exactly!! She goes out at least 3 to 4 nights a week (drinks are NOT cheap)... and as tonight is an example.. she's out partying and I have her son... like usual!  BUT I can't exactly say no when I need the $$ so bad.. grrrrrrrrrr.. 
    B
  • AAA08
    Posts: 427Member

    That is a HUGE pet peeve of mine! When people claim they're "broke, yet they can afford to go out to eat several times per week, hang out at bars, go to concerts, etc. Makes me CRAZY.


    I have definitely been broke in the past, so I can relate to your story. 



    This. Drives me crazy. We are in a fairly decent place right now, so I cannot complain. We don't do a lot of extras, we buy all our clothes and furniture second hand, we don't go out to eat, or go on vacation, but all our bills get paid and we have good insurance, our own home, and  running vehicles. However, it drives me crazy when people bitch about not having money, yet they are constantly out and don't understand why I have to decline. I never say I'm "broke" though, because in the past, I was, and it's not anywhere near where  I am now.
  • TruthandjusticeTruthandjustice
    Posts: 68Member
    @boring_name and @AAAo8 ....exactly!! I see people on Facebook ALL of the time talking about their money woes, then checking in at bars, restaurants, concerts constantly...it makes me CRAZY! I mean, if you're talking about having trouble paying bills, or you can't buy winter clothing for your kid, how on earth do you manage to go out and spend what must be at least a couple hundred bucks on going out in one week?
  • BellaBefanaBellaBefana
    Posts: 10,374Member

    Yeah, I hear ya.  I hate broke, and I don't do it well, but it pretty much means the same thing to me:  barely enough to pay the bills.

    Oh, and my mom's pressuring me to come out for Christmas yet again this year.  I truly don't understand it.  Once we moved away from our family in the '70's we didn't go every year for Christmas because, gasp, we couldn't afford it! And in the 10 years I've lived here, I've schlepped to my mom's every fucking year but 2 for Christmas.  And you know how fun that is with a child(ren) to drive 6-7+ hours, or have to deal with the airports/airlines...

    Bite me, cupcake!
  • BeautifulDefianceBeautifulDefiance
    Posts: 739Member
    @boring_name i completely understand. My family has always been that way. I tell my mom im too broke for christmas and she says well then just get them an xbox instead of the ipod touch. Ummm no, broke means i cant even get them the winter boots they need never mind a game system?!? My baby brother just had his first child and i think he is the only one who gets it. I tell him i cant afford gas to come see the baby and he understands because he can barely afford diapers. I think you have to truly be broke (i.e. deciding whether to pay rent OR the electric) to really understand what it means
    I prefer not to think before speaking. I like being just as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.

    SMSM_s_5

  • Oh my word, I can SO relate to this... my DH, DD2 and I live with my in-laws because we are so buried in debt and broke. We pay out about 2 grand in student loan payments per month therefore cannot move out anytime soon because this would otherwise be mortgage payment/etc. My DH makes a decent living for a (very frugal) family of 3 but our debt has us suffocating. My younger sister has her own nice house, new car, etc. and whines that they don't have very much in savings anymore because they spent $12,000 on their recent wedding. I WANT TO SHAKE HER!!
    love me when i least deserve it because that is when i really need it
  • jcmara927
    Posts: 2Member
    Totally get it..my conversation went like this with my sister...."no I can't afford to give mom 35$ to pay her bills (although I wish I could plus more) when Im too busy dodging the mortgage co phone calls and I have 3 kids under 6 to feed and yes $35 will kill us...one salary is beyond stretched out by 5 people, house, utilities, 2 cars, food...u my dear sister have 0 kids, an apt with bf, 1 car, both working...We are broke" this conversation will last about 1 month until something else comes up with my mother then I go through again. I feel our pain...I wish I didn't have to go through this speech...can't stand living like this...it's scary
  • boring_nameboring_name
    Posts: 670Member
    I'm with ya all.. I think it frustrated me most because she has been this broke in the past.. how she 'forgot' this feeling is beyond me.. 

    Our total cash income is $528 a month.. yup.. A MONTH... she makes over $1000 a month just for taking care of her son... plus her part time job.. AND she just got married to a man who makes well over $50,000 a year... 

    I have 3 kids living at home... she has 1.. but his bills are covered by his SSI (that also covers her rent and power...she and her hubby get to live there free as his care provider)... 

    honestly though... it really is just the fact that she doesn't get it... and I shouldn't have to give her every detail.. just take "I can't" and leave it alone... 
    B