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Favorite Colloquialisms
  • GirlsOnly
    Posts: 142Member
    Inspired by AAA08's post about what your parents taught you.

    So many of the lesson reflected a down-home kind of wisdom, it made me curious:

    What are some of your favorite folksy sayings and corny colloquialisms, and do you use them ever or often? I'll start:

    My mom used to say, 'Shit fire and save the matches!' when she got really frustrated.
  • momofdbbmomofdbb
    Posts: 9,043Member
    Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy wealthy and wise . Benjamin Franklin. Then the add on by my Great Grandmom and one dull and boring life ! Lol. She was one to grab life with both hands and hang on !!
    " Wibbly wobbly timey wimey ......." The Doctor
    " I'm a leafe on the wind..watch how I soar ." Wash :((
    " Oh the wall had it comming.' Sherlock Holmes
    yea I am geek !!
  • undercoverbanana
    Posts: 7,726Member
    If you dont want them to get your goat, dont tell them where your goat's tied.
    i'm nekkid.
  • irishlassirishlass
    Posts: 6,727Member
    'Go on, just for the craic'

    "Be who you are and say what you feel. Because those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter." - Dr. Seuss
  • Mandarin
    Posts: 111Member
    My grandmother always said the weirdest things. If we asked where do I sit? (which now that I'm thinking about it, we must have asked a lot, because I remember her always saying it, odd) she would respond "on a tack and say push". Or if we asked where are we going she'd usually say home James and don't spare the horses.
  • GirlsOnly
    Posts: 142Member
    @irishlass, What is a craic and how do you pronounce it? I've never heard that before.
  • GingersnapGingersnap
    Posts: 7,282Member
    "he's a good egg"
    "put the boots to 'er"
    "Jesus jumped up Christ"
    "shit the bed"
    "right out straight"
    "stove up"

    ---
    I tell you what, Earl. I have been right out straight today. I was driving upta the Cumbies to get my old lady some scratch offs, when my truck finally shit the bed. Well, Larry, who works over to The Black Stove Shop? He stopped to see what he could do. Tweren't nothin' doin' so he ga'e me a lift o'r to Cumbies 'n' back home. Yuh. He's a good egg. So my wife says, "Where's the truck?" I tol her it broke down and she says, "I was afraid you stove it up." "Taint likely," says I. "and I got yer scratches." You know she won five hun'erd dollars? Jesus jumped up Christ! Didn't that put her in a mood. She was so wound I had to put the boots to her.
    image
  • FLUFFY
    Posts: 168Member
    I just read gingersnaps story to dh and we are both laughing out asses off. He said he has never heard that much Maine slang in one story
  • momofdbbmomofdbb
    Posts: 9,043Member
    Well I had a hard time understanding it ! Lol I know southern slang not from Maine .
    " Wibbly wobbly timey wimey ......." The Doctor
    " I'm a leafe on the wind..watch how I soar ." Wash :((
    " Oh the wall had it comming.' Sherlock Holmes
    yea I am geek !!
  • GingersnapGingersnap
    Posts: 7,282Member
    @fluffy - my DH laughed his ass off when he read it. I win.

    @momofdbb - should I post a translation, or do you just want to know what certain phrases mean?
    image
  • Lakegirl34
    Posts: 1,747Member
    @gingersnap is put the boots to her her as dirty as I imagine?
  • momofdbbmomofdbb
    Posts: 9,043Member
    Just wondering what the black stove shop is ? :-/
    " Wibbly wobbly timey wimey ......." The Doctor
    " I'm a leafe on the wind..watch how I soar ." Wash :((
    " Oh the wall had it comming.' Sherlock Holmes
    yea I am geek !!
  • GingersnapGingersnap
    Posts: 7,282Member
    @lakegirl34 - Why yes it is. ;)
    image
  • GingersnapGingersnap
    Posts: 7,282Member
    @momofdbb - I'll go back and put some caps on that. It's the name of a stove shop. They mostly sell wood stoves.

    @megsue - come check out my literary prowess!
    image
  • momofdbbmomofdbb
    Posts: 9,043Member
    Ok thanks
    " Wibbly wobbly timey wimey ......." The Doctor
    " I'm a leafe on the wind..watch how I soar ." Wash :((
    " Oh the wall had it comming.' Sherlock Holmes
    yea I am geek !!
  • GirlsOnly
    Posts: 142Member
    I understood most of Gingersnap's story, ONLY because I read so much Stephen King. Keep 'em coming, ladies!
  • pibblelovinmama
    Posts: 8Member
    Well my grandpa used to say to me when I asked what was for dinner,he would say "Hogs ass and onions" 
    And my besties mom who was from Texas used to tell,"nothing more sanctimonious than a reformed whore"lol !!! I have found that one to be very true !!!
    =))
  • RahsgirlRahsgirl
    Posts: 329Member
    My moms 2 favorite things to say were always "Wait till you have kids of your own paybacks a bitch!" and "Men are like shoes you don't always buy the first pair you try on!"
  • Mandarin
    Posts: 111Member
    @pibblelovinmama when we asked what was for dinner we were told a pine float. And then my gram would stick a toothpick in a glass of water and tell us to eat up.
  • pibblelovinmama
    Posts: 8Member
    He also used to say Kumquats were for dinner I always thought that was just a word he made up until I 20 or so and saw them in the produce section of Safeway !! lol ....I am 41 now,gosh I miss him 
  • RinRin
    Posts: 967Member
    @GirlsOnly craic and correct my irish ass if i am wrong @irishlass is pronounced crack and it means like fun....then again i guess it depends on who you talk to right?
    "There are many things in life that will catch your eye, but only a few will catch your heart.. .pursue those"
  • BeachyBeachy
    Posts: 3,895Member
    Sweating like a whore in church
    Shivering like a dog shitting icicles
    Colder than a witches tit
    Searching for my lost shaker of salt.
  • MarySunshineMarySunshine
    Posts: 5,418Member
    From my grandfather (the feisty, semi reformed-alcoholic Marine, and who I miss dearly):
    Close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades.
    The road to Hell is paved in good intentions.
    You can shit in one hand and wish in another, see which one fills up faster.
    Don't step on your chin... (Said when we were little and pouty, used to piss me off so much lol)
    Engineers can design an asshole, but they can't shit out of one.
    Hey is for horses.


    There has to be more. I'm drawing a blank at the moment. LOL
    I'm as sexy as a burp mid-kiss. Watch out!

  • momofdbbmomofdbb
    Posts: 9,043Member

    Hey is for horses ,grass is cheeper !

    Colder than a witches tit.

    We have added to the "Close only counts in horseshoes, and hand gernades " we include nuclear weapons.

    nervous as a long tail cat in a room full of rocking chairs

    " Wibbly wobbly timey wimey ......." The Doctor
    " I'm a leafe on the wind..watch how I soar ." Wash :((
    " Oh the wall had it comming.' Sherlock Holmes
    yea I am geek !!
  • shate98shate98
    Posts: 2,780Member

    irishlass said:

    'Go on, just for the craic'



    @irishlass I loved the pubs with signs in the window that said "come in for music and craic!"
    "As you wander through your life, whatever be your goal,
    keep your eye upon the doughnut, not upon the hole."
  • pibblelovinmama
    Posts: 8Member
    Oh yes and another one of my faves from my nana from Texas,when someone would call her a bitch.
    She would smile and say and I am a bitch divinely guided (by God ) I still use that still today prolly because I am one 
  • SerendipitySerendipity
    Posts: 630Member
    Kick the dog and piss in the fire-   when surprised
    I'm fixin' to -  about to do anything
    Set a spell-   sit down for a while
    Don't borrow trouble
    Fruit out of season, trouble with out reason
    He/she don't know sic'em

  • irishlassirishlass
    Posts: 6,727Member
    @shate98 yup :) everyone says it!
    We also go out for a pint, not for a drink.

    @girlsonly, @rin is right! Prounounced 'crack' with a drag on the 'a' and it means banter, fun, jokes etc.
    We also say 'what's te craic', meaning what's up?'
    Or 'youre no craic'

    "Be who you are and say what you feel. Because those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter." - Dr. Seuss
  • irishlassirishlass
    Posts: 6,727Member
    'Yer ma's yer da'
    'Get it outta ye!'
    'I'll dig yer windys in'
    'I'll flatten yer bake'
    'Pick a windy, yer goin thu it'
    'Here's me; wa?!'


    My fave that my grandma always said; 'better belly busted than good food wasted'
    She was an awesome lady!

    There are many many more, its first thing in the morning, ill post more through the day :)
    "Be who you are and say what you feel. Because those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter." - Dr. Seuss
  • Cyny73730
    Posts: 106Member
    My grandma always said it is colder then a witches tit in a brass bra or I'm sweating like a whore in church
  • realtormomrealtormom
    Posts: 648Member
    My dad's two... No is also an answer.
    It's better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick.
    The past has a vote, not a veto ~ Moredecai Kaplan
  • GirlsOnly
    Posts: 142Member

    MarySunshine said:

    You can shit in one hand and wish in another, see which one fills up faster.

    @MarySunshine - My dad says the same thing. It's a gooder, huh?

    He also used to say, when we asked what was for dinner or what our Christmas presents would be: "Close your eyes and tell me what you see'
  • SchweddyBallsSchweddyBalls
    Posts: 3,241Member
    That's rougher than a cob....
    More frusterated than an one armed paper hanger with the hives.....
    I'm the nicest person you will ever meet, UNTIL you fuck with me or the betches I love.......
  • GritsGrits
    Posts: 3,741Member
    Colder than a well diggers ass.

    Sweatin' like a two dollar whore on nickel night.

    Also, yonder, hemways, and thataways are all acceptable directional substitutes.
    "I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day, and I believe in miracles." ~Audrey Hepburn
  • WillileeWillilee
    Posts: 1,002Member
    "Shit fire and save matches" is one of my faves.

    "Christ on a crutch"

    "Lord love a duck"

    "WTF, over"

    My new one is "WTF, are you fuckin' 5?" Not much of a colloquialism but it expresses my great anger and frustration in a nice tidy package.
  • KrabbyKay
    Posts: 2,420Member
    I made up a list of Gram's sayings once when I was a kid!!! She went with the angels 4 yrs ago Nov 15. I totally miss her!!!

    "Colder than a welldigger's ass"

    "Blacker than a woodchuck's asshole"

    "Like shit thru a goose" *side note, I once heard a hockey commentator say about some offensive play or other, "well, THAT was like poop thru a goose!" and I almost died laughing. I never heard anyone but Gram say it.

    "Slicker than snot on a doorknob"

    "Ya got the shits???"

    "I'm fuller than a tick!" WTF that is the bar-none most disgusting thing EVER! She was always trotting that one out at Thanksgiving.

    "Oh I'm all stove up"

    Of having curlers in her hair in public "Oh I'll just tie a rag around it" all scarves & the like were "rags".

    "Didn't have a pot to piss in or a winda to throw it out of"

    And my alltime fave, "Going like a bat out of hell"!!!
  • WickedDunkieJunkieWickedDunkieJunkie
    Posts: 5,831Member
    Whenever someone says "Sooooo..."
    My mother would say "Buttons on ice cream?" (like *sew*).... so it's always something I say too.

    My grandmother always said it too I was told.
    WDJ_Avatar_zps4536679b
    We Are The Music Makers... And We Are The Dreamers Of Dreams...

  • KrabbyKay
    Posts: 2,420Member
    Oh!!! I thought of another 
    "It's enough to gag a maggot" I *love* that one!!!!!!!!!!
  • GirlsOnly
    Posts: 142Member
    @Wililee, I always say "Christ on a popsicle stick" because it seems more sacrilegious ... and if I'm already taking the name in vain....

    @KrabbyKay - I LOVE 'gag a maggot'!

    My mom also says,
    Well, if that don't frost ya.

    Tighter'n a pig in a poke

    There are so many more, but I'm drawing blanks now.
  • kittenkitty00
    Posts: 401Member
    My moms answer for whats for dinner. "Food" i would ask what kind of food. " the kind u eat"

    And since live in mormon state she never wanted to offend so would cuss "cheese and rice".
  • kittenkitty00
    Posts: 401Member
    Oh yeah and that never ending echo of a threat. " one day your gonna have a daughter that acts just like you" or variation a daughter twice as bad as you.
  • LoveLove
    Posts: 12,756Administrator, Moderator
    Grits said:

    Colder than a well diggers ass.

    Sweatin' like a two dollar whore on nickel night.

    Also, yonder, hemways, and thataways are all acceptable directional substitutes.



    These ones LOL and many more already mentioned!

    Granny also had an old way of pronouncing certain things too.

    Like the past tense of "help" for her would be something like "They went over there to hope her move her stuff."
    Or the past tense of "climb" would sound like "Them boys clemmed up innnat tree and done knocked all my dang apples out on the ground for the god dang critters to git!!"

    You think Granny Clampit and add a hundred pounds, and you got my Granny LMAO

    OOOOHHHHH and all my Southern ladies, you know this one?

    Well Lord! I swanney!

    community-manager


  • LoveLove
    Posts: 12,756Administrator, Moderator
    On wanting to know why we're taking a particular path while driving... (obviously, instead of the way you THINK we oughtta be going to get there...)

    "Where are we going?"

    To hell, if we don't change our ways.

    community-manager


  • LoveLove
    Posts: 12,756Administrator, Moderator
    Full as a tick

    High as a kite

    Drunk as Cooter Brown

    Dumb as a box of rocks

    Older than dirt

    Richer than God

    Older than Methusala

    "That boy aint got the sense God give a damn STUMP"

    Can't find his ass with both hands

    (sounds like something loud) like piss out of a boot

    If that don't beat all!!

    community-manager


  • momofdbbmomofdbb
    Posts: 9,043Member
    Not the sharpest tool in the shed .
    Not the brightest bulb in the box .
    A few cards short of a full deck.
    Not hitting on all cylinders.
    That boy aint quite right.
    Well at least she's pretty.
    Touched , in the head.

    Yep we have many ways to say dumb.
    " Wibbly wobbly timey wimey ......." The Doctor
    " I'm a leafe on the wind..watch how I soar ." Wash :((
    " Oh the wall had it comming.' Sherlock Holmes
    yea I am geek !!
  • GirlsOnly
    Posts: 142Member
    @momofdbb - we just say, "Tetched, bless her heart."

    'Bout as sharp as a box of mallets, not a ball peen or claw among 'em.

    On asking where something is, my mom would say, 'Look with your eyes, not with your mouth.' Daddy would say, 'If it was up your ass you'd know where it was.'
  • LoveLove
    Posts: 12,756Administrator, Moderator
    GirlsOnly said:



    On asking where something is, my mom would say, 'Look with your eyes, not with your mouth.' Daddy would say, 'If it was up your ass you'd know where it was.'



    oooooooooh or "if it was a snake, it would have bit you!"

    community-manager


  • KrabbyKay
    Posts: 2,420Member
    I say "Not the brightest CRAYON in the box"!!! hahaha! That's probably some dimbulb mishmash of those sayings! And "a few bricks shy of a load".
  • theprincessmommytheprincessmommy
    Posts: 672Member
    We always say "its cold as moles asses in january"  That gem is my moms

    "not the sharpest tool in the shed"

    "few peas short of a casserole"


  • LoveLove
    Posts: 12,756Administrator, Moderator
    theprincessmommy said:

    We always say "its cold as moles asses in january"  That gem is my moms


    "not the sharpest tool in the shed"

    "few peas short of a casserole"




    We say SLOW as molasses in January lol 

    community-manager


  • theprincessmommytheprincessmommy
    Posts: 672Member
    Love said:

    theprincessmommy said:

    We always say "its cold as moles asses in january"  That gem is my moms


    "not the sharpest tool in the shed"

    "few peas short of a casserole"




    We say SLOW as molasses in January lol 



    I meant slow and my mom bastardized it to Moles Asses which i still think is funny as shit.
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