A Little Help Please.
  • ChibikoChibiko
    Posts: 3,329Member
    My DH is going to be gone for 2 months worth of time in 10 day stretches. I need tips and tricks to having my kiddos all on my own.

    How do you survive the time? Is there a trick to grocery shopping with kiddos? How do I comfort my kiddos and explain that Daddy's going to be gone? How do I deal with no sex during that time?

    HELP!!!!!


    ETA DS is 6 and DD is 4.
    "We all cross over to the dark side at one point. We just all have different temptations" ~MarySunshine

    "You were the truth I would rather lose than to have never lain beside at all" ~Death Cab for Cutie
  • RagingRachRagingRach
    Posts: 264Member
    I've only done this with one kid, so I'm not much help there... It's a great time to catch up on TV and movies that your DH doesn't like to watch!
  • Mommyliciousx4Mommyliciousx4
    Posts: 1,768Member

    When Im in the store w ds4 and dd3 I make them stay in the cart, our grocery store offers free balloons at the flower section and a cookie at the bakery.

    I try to minimize the trips I have to make.

    When it comes to the kids and daddy, we have cell phones and send pix all the time. Depending on your dhs work hours, we call daddy whenever we can. I also talk to the kids about daddy and his job and where he is at during that time.

    As for the no sex thing..............toys, showers, and phone w dh.

     

  • ChibikoChibiko
    Posts: 3,329Member
    I know there are a ton of things I'm not thinking about having to handle them on my own. Ugh.

    What am I missing here?
    "We all cross over to the dark side at one point. We just all have different temptations" ~MarySunshine

    "You were the truth I would rather lose than to have never lain beside at all" ~Death Cab for Cutie
  • Mommyliciousx4Mommyliciousx4
    Posts: 1,768Member
    is there anything daddy handles specifically? kid or house wise?
  • ChibikoChibiko
    Posts: 3,329Member
    DH is the one who reads them their night night stories. He also used to have Mondays off so he'd bring them to and from school and rough house. He also cooks almost all of our meals (he'd a chef) so I'll have to learn rather quickly how to cook.

    @mommyliciousx4
    "We all cross over to the dark side at one point. We just all have different temptations" ~MarySunshine

    "You were the truth I would rather lose than to have never lain beside at all" ~Death Cab for Cutie
  • Mommyliciousx4Mommyliciousx4
    Posts: 1,768Member

    the parts where daddy is the constant is going to be the roughest for them.

    or............maybe daddy could be on speaker and read the stories?? the kids could even brag about that.

    Lucky you about him being a chef!!

  • acidaliaacidalia
    Posts: 110Member
    for the no sex part..... TOYS! lmao. and for the kiddos, for car rides, toys, shopping tell them you will get them something small if they are good. and during the day when not in school or something do crafts, play games, color im sure anything will work really. and just tell them daddy is going to be gone for a few days for work.. gotta make that money so they can have stuff they want, right? lol. 
  • Mommy_of_boys
    Posts: 10Member
    Well I agree with the others but for the bed time stories, maybe get one of those books where you can record yourself reading them.. Have hubby record himself and have them listen to it at night. 
  • organicbabyorganicbaby
    Posts: 2,020Member
    Maybe you can have your DH record himself reading some books to play when he is not there. You can hang a calendar with the day he comes back marked asbc your kids can cross a day every day when they wake up. Do your shopping online if you can and give some fun time outside to the kids when they are good.
    Just some tips that work for me but I only have one :)
  • SasafrasSasafras
    Posts: 1,627Member
    Could he cook some meals ahead of time so you can just go from freezer to oven?

    Do you have a laptop that he can take with so he Skype with you guys before you all go to bed? That Wayne can still read them their books?
  • SasafrasSasafras
    Posts: 1,627Member
    And the for grocery shopping, see if they have the double seater carts, or bribe them with candy if the are good.
  • ChibikoChibiko
    Posts: 3,329Member
    That's a great idea @mommy_of_boys !

    Tonight i tried to take over the bed time routine but it didn't go so well. I'll try again tomorrow night. I'm sure that a book w his voice will help!
    "We all cross over to the dark side at one point. We just all have different temptations" ~MarySunshine

    "You were the truth I would rather lose than to have never lain beside at all" ~Death Cab for Cutie
  • ChibikoChibiko
    Posts: 3,329Member
    Oh @organicbaby that give me a great idea. We can make those paper chain things and have the remove one before bed time to count down the days till he comes home.
    "We all cross over to the dark side at one point. We just all have different temptations" ~MarySunshine

    "You were the truth I would rather lose than to have never lain beside at all" ~Death Cab for Cutie
  • ChibikoChibiko
    Posts: 3,329Member
    I should get some of those tin pans so he can make casseroles and enchiladas and such ahead of time! Great ideas @sasafras!

    We do have a laptop but it's mine. It's like the only thing I own that's absolutely mine. I'll have a discussion with him about taking it with him.
    "We all cross over to the dark side at one point. We just all have different temptations" ~MarySunshine

    "You were the truth I would rather lose than to have never lain beside at all" ~Death Cab for Cutie
  • BradsCrazyMomBradsCrazyMom
    Posts: 136Member
    All the ladies had great advice. I am just wishing you luck and prayers its nice n easy while he's gone >:D< >:D< >:D<
  • JustAConfusedMamaJustAConfusedMama
    Posts: 4,527Member
    @chibiko, yeah I agree with Mommy_of_boys, those recordable books are great and I think that will help your bedtime routine.  I would suggest skyping with Daddy before bedtime too if possible, that way he still stays part of there bedtime routine and it might ease the transition.
    If you would like to sponsor me for the Imagine Walk for Autism in April, for my friend's son please click the below link and donate.
    http://www.firstgiving.com/fundraiser/sfamily/12th-imagine-walk-and-family-fun-day-for-autism
  • JustAConfusedMamaJustAConfusedMama
    Posts: 4,527Member
    whoops didn't see that @sasafras already suggested it.  I guess i have nothing new to add,  u just wish you luck with it,
    If you would like to sponsor me for the Imagine Walk for Autism in April, for my friend's son please click the below link and donate.
    http://www.firstgiving.com/fundraiser/sfamily/12th-imagine-walk-and-family-fun-day-for-autism
  • SasafrasSasafras
    Posts: 1,627Member
    @chibs do you have a desk top computer also?
  • TorturedbyTWINSTorturedbyTWINS
    Posts: 1,543Member
    Build-A-Bear also has teddy bears that you can have him record his voice to say a sweet saying.  I had one from my XH when he deployed.  He sang a little song "Good morning, good morning, good morning, good night, good night, good night... I love you, I love you, I love you, tonight tonight tonight"  It was simple but sweet and we made it with children in mind someday to make deployments easier on them too. 
  • ChibikoChibiko
    Posts: 3,329Member
    @sasafras Yes we have a desk top too but that's his.
    "We all cross over to the dark side at one point. We just all have different temptations" ~MarySunshine

    "You were the truth I would rather lose than to have never lain beside at all" ~Death Cab for Cutie
  • ChibikoChibiko
    Posts: 3,329Member
    The build a bear thing is a fantastic idea! Plus DD4 has been begging to build one. @torturedbytwins
    "We all cross over to the dark side at one point. We just all have different temptations" ~MarySunshine

    "You were the truth I would rather lose than to have never lain beside at all" ~Death Cab for Cutie
  • GritsGrits
    Posts: 4,370Member
    Making it work on my own for a week at a time is all about a routine and a schedule. It makes things easier when the big kids know what's coming up and can prepare. I also require them to pick up an extra chore in the evenings before bed. It helps me feel less overwhelmed, and they get a kick out of helping mommy. Mine are 8 and 4, and I can tell you the 8 y/o feels it more than the 4 y/o when her daddy's gone. But they're both a big help, and they pitch in and entertain their little brother (8 months) while I cook/clean/shower so I can get it done.
    "I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day, and I believe in miracles." ~Audrey Hepburn
  • undercoverbanana
    Posts: 12,609Member
    Let both the kids each pick what they want for dinner once a week. Say, Monday, one kid picks dinner. Wednesday, the other kid picks dinner. Have them help you in the kitchen as much as they can. Have them sort laundry....even little kids can sort colors from whites. And make it something they get a treat for. If you recruit them as your helpers, it will go a little easier because they will feel a little more in control. And if you can, avoid shopping trips when they are tired and hungry. Give them a little snack before shopping trips. Makes a meltdown less likely. Have your big kid cross things off the shopping list. use your best handwriting when you make the list.
    i'm nekkid.
  • MarySunshineMarySunshine
    Posts: 7,953Member
    Skype! When DH is globetrotting we Skype each other.

    If you have friends and family offering to help out and or hang out take them up on it! My mom comes down about half way through DH's trips (ok so he's gone for like 9-12 days usually) and stays the night. It's nice to have more company than that of a 2.5yo and 7mo. We did bid grocery shopping the day before DH left. We'd make small trips to the grocery store of Target if we ran out of anything (see next section below).

    I planned short outings...walk around the mall with the kids, car rides are big in our family, especially because we have fun, winding roads around here. A run to Target. I always bring a milk/ juice cup and a snack cup for big beastie, and a bottle for little beastie. Keeps them occupied while I window shop or drive around. Look for local weekend events you can take the kids to that aren't expensive or require four hands.

    @jaysopranobauer was my sanity check in. I'd call and text her a lot. It was nice to have some connection to the outside world. LOL So feel free to text me a shit ton!


    Cheap craft supplies- brown paper lunch bags, googled eyes, feathers...markers...all that crap. Let them make stuff on the weekends....or weekdays.

    "I don't poop. I create magic."- ABC

    I'm as sexy as a burp mid-kiss. Watch out!

    For every loser there's one that has to win. So bite your tongue, grit your teeth and grin...
  • Buggy_Boo
    Posts: 209Member
    My DH has been gone for about 5 months and I've been doing the single parent thing with DD4 and DS2.  I get lots of help from my mom and mil but here are my tips for when I'm flying solo:

    1. I run errands in the morning when the kiddos are in a better mood.
    2. They always get a cookie while we are at the grocery store and they both have to stay in the buggy.  I use the ones that have cars attached the them whenever I can. 
    3. Always park close to the buggy return in the parking lot - it makes loading and unloading the rugrats much easier!
    4. Wherever you go, whatever you are doing - bring snacks!
    5. I try to have a good upbeat attitude whenever I'm tackling something hard with them.  I make up songs about always holding hands in the parking lot, etc.
    6. My husband is a chef, too.  Hamburger Helper has been my friend for the past 5 months! lol
    7. Showering is always hard - I try to make it quick and either while they are asleep or engrossed in a movie.  Sometimes I put them on my bed with snacks and Curious George and that gives me 5 minutes to shower lol.
    8. We talk about Daddy a lot and the fun things we have all done together.  My DD4 has drawn him pictures and talked to him on the phone.  I also send him lots of photos of the kids.

    Good luck!  Holler if you need more ideas!
  • KacerpieKacerpie
    Posts: 1,119Member
    The kids are 4 and 6 right? To be honest it shouldn't be too hard, keep them to their normal schedule (as much as you can), keep in contact with the hubs, I like the casserole idea and the book idea too.

    When it comes to chores/errands, the nice thing about 4 and 6 is they are old enough to bribe. And they tend to be able to tell by the tone of your voice when your done playing and the next kid to piss you off has to worry about walking home/not eating for 3 days/dieing.

    I'm not a pro by any means, but mine are 8, 7, 4 & 7 mo, and although I haven't been along with all 4 for days, I have done my older 3 for almost 3 months. They were 2, 4 & 5. And to be honest, it seems a lot harder than it is!

    You got this, well you and LOTS OF WINE!!!!!!!
    "Please don't talk mom... It makes my brain work..."
  • ChibikoChibiko
    Posts: 3,329Member
    Thanks my friends! You have all given me some great ideas. Tonight we are going to build a bear an they're going to make "daddy" bears together so when they hug the bears it's like they're hugging daddy.

    I'm going to do a monster grocery shopping trip so we'll only have to pick up things like milk and bread while he's away.

    We are making paper "count down" chain to they know how many days till daddy comes home.

    I also sent an email put to their teachers explaining what's going on so they know what to say to my kiddos if they say something about daddy being gone.

    It looks like he'll be away for the holidays. Thanksgiving isn't that really a big of a deal. We are probably going to visit him for Chritmas so while it's won't be tradition we will still be together.

    He's also goon to miss my birthday which might as well be a holiday for me lol. After we make the build a bears we are going birthday shopping and he's going to wrap it so I have something to open.

    I an lucky in that my family lives close so we will continue to have family supper on Sunday's and they'll get to spend time w my parents.

    I know I'm not thinking of some thing I should.....
    "We all cross over to the dark side at one point. We just all have different temptations" ~MarySunshine

    "You were the truth I would rather lose than to have never lain beside at all" ~Death Cab for Cutie
  • MarySunshineMarySunshine
    Posts: 7,953Member
    @chibiko >:D<

    You got this!
    "I don't poop. I create magic."- ABC

    I'm as sexy as a burp mid-kiss. Watch out!

    For every loser there's one that has to win. So bite your tongue, grit your teeth and grin...
  • Mommyof5
    Posts: 94Member
    I have 5 kids that I usually have to take food shopping with me. Only one is small enough to get in the cart so my12 year old pushes a second cart while the other kids follow behind me in a line. We call it the duck line. They all get to pick something special that we eat that week. I always get comments about how well behaved my kids are...if only they could see them at home. Lol
  • bellabearbellabear
    Posts: 224Member
    @chibiko i dont kknow if someone else posted this. but what i do at the grocery store...is put my kids in the cart and go to the toy isle... i let them pick a few toys and than before we check out we go back to the toy isle and put them away.  if their good ...ill let them pick out something to bake when we get home. works like a charm ;) if its a short trip...i put the little one in the car and i let me older one stand on the sides on the cart  and hold onto the basket while i push her around. 
  • ChibikoChibiko
    Posts: 3,329Member
    Ooo sneaky at the toy section! I may have to try that one @bellabear
    "We all cross over to the dark side at one point. We just all have different temptations" ~MarySunshine

    "You were the truth I would rather lose than to have never lain beside at all" ~Death Cab for Cutie
  • ChibikoChibiko
    Posts: 3,329Member
    We went to Build a Bear and they made their "Daddy" bears.  DS6 seems to understand that Daddy will be gone, but he'll come back.  DD4 keeps crying and saying that she won't have a Daddy anymore.  We keep telling here that he will come back, he's just going to go to work for a long time. 
    "We all cross over to the dark side at one point. We just all have different temptations" ~MarySunshine

    "You were the truth I would rather lose than to have never lain beside at all" ~Death Cab for Cutie