Motherhood Comes Naturally (and other vicious lies) is available in stores, and online, NOW. Do you have it yet? Have you told all your friends and family about it?
**Get it, share it, and spread the joy!**
New Scaries (week of 10/28)
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Welcome to the BRAND NEW edition of THE SCARIES!!!Why are they new? Because they are yours!! Chosen by you!!Your personal favorites and your best ofs.Instead of the community and confessional managers picking through the confessions we'd like to put them in your hands.Use this thread to list your faves from the week.Maybe even use this space to claim one you're willing to fess up to.The confessions will be featured on the homepage of the ScaryMommy blog. They could be featured on the Scary Mommy Pinterest page and may even make it into the new and upcoming ScaryMommy book, as well! !REMINDER: Don't forget to Like, Hug, and Me too! the confessions which speak to you - You will be helping the confessors to feel less alone and letting them know that you HEAR them.We'll show you ours if you show us yours:LIKED: #246122 I'm fat, saggy and 40-but dh told a 20 something to eff off he had a girl. He's so getting laid.HUGGED: #245870 mil took me to the food bank for the first time yesterday. i was so happy to have food for my babies, i cried while picking it up! they even gave me wipes and butt cream for my baby! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!OMG, ME TOO: #246033 I frequently let my 3yo bathe by himself while I'm in the next room on the computer. I check on him frequently, he gets to play, I get free time, and no one has drowned yet. Win!BEST OFS PICKED BY CONFESSION MANAGERS:#245241 I just had to wrestle myself into my spanx. I seriously can't breath. When did I get this fat?!#245828 I feel like revolting against the razor blade companies. I'm sick and fucking tired of paying a fortune to shave my legs, armpits and pussy.#245720 I'm secretly excited I'm sick cuz now I can take cough medicine with codeine and get some real sleep#245523 I do my best to treat my children equally. For example, if I steal a candy from one treat bag, I am sure to steal one from the other two as well. -
#245523 Could have been me!!
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Last one for me also! Hahaha.See ya in another life, sister!
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Thanks @llb!
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#245720...me on the rare occasion that I'm sick enough to need a script. Sad, but true.
#246799 So Friday my Dr. tells me I might have cancer. Instant reaction? F this diet, I'm on a Big Mac and chocolate bender. Least my fam can't get mad if I shave my head now...I know it's not funny, but humor keeps me from crying.
Breaks my heart, but I love your attitude OC. Laughter is good medicine...remember that.
"I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day, and I believe in miracles." ~Audrey Hepburn -
I JUUST saw that one @grits and was coming to do a support confession thread for it
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Here are a few goodies. Cant copy and paste on my phone though:
246871
246845
246628
246596 -
Posting a 'baby on board' sign in your car window makes me want to crash into your vehicle. Your baby is no more special than my 13 year old teenager and you don't see me posting a sign, do ya? Asshat!
Like (41)
Hug (4)
OMG, Me Too! (25)
#246871
OH CRAP! Dd2 said, "Mommy, can we go to the P-A-R-K today?" I thought I had a good three years of spelling left before I'd have to be more sneaky! (Secretly, I'm proud of her, though!)
Like (18)
Hug (1)
OMG, Me Too! (1)
#246845
Hate women who post on fb about how much they work out and post their stupid f*ing inspirational work out posters. How about post about wine and chocolate instead that's much more inspirational
Like (59)
Hug (5)
OMG, Me Too! (41)
#246628
The house was clean, the kids were playing quietly and a neighbor stopped by. I felt like Super Mom for a minute. Of course all hell broke loose as soon as she was gone. But it was fun while it lasted.
Like (60)
Hug (3)
OMG, Me Too! (6)
#246596
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Those are some great ones!!!!!!!
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I will revolt against razor blade companies as well!! 10 bucks for a good one...damn
"Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save."
-Will Smith -
Here's another one. I have this superpower too.
243470 -
@serendipity
I had a breakdown yesterday cuz we're so tight on money that we couldn't really afford to properly dry our clothes at the laundrymat & most everything was still pretty damp. I hung up the worst of it but still feel bad.
Like (1)
Hug (42)
OMG, Me Too! (3)
#243470 -
Dang it wrong #. 247035. It's the one about having super powers to see chores no one else can see. Sorry, @unforgiven. I hate being dyslexic.
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I figured it was a mistake, no worries it happens :)
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Two more that cracked me up. 247215 and 246992
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why is it that i can scream until i am hoarse and nobody will listen, but when i open a candy wrapper, sit on the toilet or close the door to masturbate, everyone comes running????
Like (53)
Hug (2)
OMG, Me Too! (64)
#247215
I'm pretty sure the song Your Sex Is On Fire was written about this raging yeast infection I have.
Like (59)
Hug (7)
OMG, Me Too! (5)
#246992
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Love them all!!!
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Hi, I'm the equal opportunity candy thief confessor. :DYou and me, we go way back.
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I have one, I hope it is this weeks. Any way, I liked it:
I know that I cannot drug my child to sleep...but some days the thought does cross my mind. Repeatedly.
I do not know the number though.
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DD5 asked me recently if we could watch an M-O-V-I-E
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These two broke my heart. Hugs to the confessors.
(248372): I found out today that I can never have kids. I'm so unbearably sad. I've always wanted a child of my own. I can't imagine a life w/out kids of my own. :(
(248399): I have been considering running away to make my husband raise our 3 girls on his own. I just have nowhere to run. Tried to OD 2wice but failed. Just hope I don't wake up tomorrow.
Like (1)Hug (26)OMG, Me Too! (3)
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I didn't see 248372, but OC, I'm hear to tell you to erase that NEVER out of your vocabulary...my daughter is living proof of that.Bite me, cupcake!
















