Okay I am 48 years old and finally living my dream of going to college. I raised my family to adulthood and then started having a life for myself. Am I too old for this? Am I being selfish because my family says it is taking me aways from them?
3 years ago I decided to go ahead and start college class online. I chose online because that way I can be with my husband who has health issues and I would freak out if somthing happend to him and I could get to him. Anyway, I graduated after the first 2 years with an Associates Degree in Human Services Management. I was so proud of myself, I thought I had done something really great. I also graduated wth honors. Also I was on cloud 9 because of this. My amily however made me feel like it was just and everday occurance in our lives that someone graduates from college. Man was this a big ol let down for me.
went back 2 weeks later to earn a Bachelors Degree in Psychology. I want to continue until I earn my Doctorit. Oh this really fired up may family. I even had one of the boys tell me that my college crap was taking me away from them al. I mean come on, I have kept my grandchildren his children anytime we were asked to keep them. We are actually raising them as our own chldren and not grandchildren they are with us so much. Dont get me wrong I think this is great that we have them they are the light of our lives. I wouldnt change it for the world and when they are with us I always make a game of my school work. I have little laptop for the two of them to work on for their age group 3 and 4 years old. I say it is time for school and they will get thier laptops and sit down wwith me and act like they are doing homework. It is really cute. They have learned to count, spell, ABC's, and write their names because of this kind of playing.
Can some one tell me how this is taking me away from my family? Am I beng selfish for doing something that I always wanted to do?
I also have to say that I am doing this for another reason my husband has some major health issues and if something happens to him i want to be able to take are of myself and not have to depend on my children. I want to be independent.
Why do kids feel the need to make their parents feel as if they are inadiquate as as a good parent? It seems the older they get the worse they seem to be able to make me feel. Am I worng to think they need to grow up and move on with their lives and realize life doesnt stand still for no reason.
Thanks you arent over stepping. I have often told him this exact thing but it doenst seem to make any difference. I just wish that my hubby would say something to show them that he supports me doing this. He says that the devil invented computers because there is nothing ever comes out of it good. Um I think going to school and being able to stay home to take care of him is something good. I think this has a lot to do with the way the boys look at what I am doing. He use to be my biggest supporter but not any more.
Oh by the way love the name.
Thanks. I know they are trying tomake me feel guilty and they are making a good job of it. I feel guilty for the least little thing. I once felt guilty or not being on time to babysit so the boys and wives could go out for the night. I was five min. late and you would have thought I didnt show up. I felt guilty and tried to make up for it for over a month.
Just.Stop.Now. The guilt, that is! You are so NOT being selfish! Good for you!!! Be proud of yourself. I'm 38 and finishing up my paralegal certificate and my kids are still young (6 & 10).
Thank you so much. I am sitting here about to cry because of the support I am getting from all you Ladys. I have to say that being able to vent and talk to y'all on here is great. Because of the family being so demanding, helpping my brothir in law at the flower shop taking care of my home, taking hubby to all Dr. appointment, and my college work I havent anytime to go out and make friends so or me this is great. Thank you all for the support it does mean a great deal to me, more then any of you really think.
I think guilt has been bred into me since i was a little girl. Parents would make me feel guilty if I did or didnt do something that I was suppose to do. I will be working on getting use to the fact that i dont have anything to worry about. I think it is great that you are working on your certificate now. I think that if my chldren were still little it would be easier for me. At leaste then they wouldnt be so selfish about me doing this. Sometimes I wander if I did to much for them and was there to much for them. I wander what they would do if one day I just stop doing for them and worried about me for a change.
I think that it igreat that your mom is doing this. I could never imagine doing anything that hard a Degree in Elecrical Engineering. You have a very big reason to be proud of her.
I think for me online classes are easier because i couldnt imagine being in front of all those young people talking and saying what i think. I love the online classes because I can say what I think and do the work with out all the prssure. when we have to work in learning teams is a little hard for me becuase i am not use to relying on other people for help if i cant do something I will find a way to learn to do it. Learning teams you have to rely on each other and I have done for myself so long it is just hard.
Take a leasson from your mom ,make sure you live your dream as well.
Thanks for the encouragement. think it is great that you are going back to college. I wish I had done this at a younger age and then things may have been different. You mom sounds like a great role model or you. he showed you that you are never to old to get what you want out of life. Hope you make great grades and you do well in classes.
That is great. I didnt know there were so many woman and men around my age has gone back to school. I live close to a college town and it seems all the people i see look like little kids to me not even old enough to shave yet. But of course they are in there late teens early twenties. Good luck with all of your classes and hope you make the grades you want.
Thank you, I think it also great that you are able to go back to school, You know i never thought about the benifits of knowing hos to use my time more wisely, not worrying aout socializing. I make sure that i get all the things that nee to be done during the day and then in the evennings I will work on homework. If I try to get out of homework my granndbabies will tell "Mimi it is time for us to do homework, lets get to it" I get more encouragement from them they anyone else in the family. I also want to teach them that it is never to late to live your dreams and you are never to old to go back to school if you set your mind to it. It is also something I wanted to teach my children but it seems it is one lesson that I tried to teach to late.
If we are never to old to go for it then why is it that some young people make us feel as if we should be home taking care of grandchildren and doing things that involve taking care of stuf the revolves around them? It seems that some of the young peole I am in class with makes it an issue of my age. I get questons about what make me go back to school? Sholdnt I have gone to school when was younger instead of waiting so long? Then there are those that will think I am not smart enough to understan the Professors instructions. However, there are also those like you that make me feel as if my knowledge of life is something they value.
That is great that you are such great friends with someone 29 yars older then you are. I think that theolder people will always hae something to teach us. I use to work in a Nursing hme and I always love talking to the older peole there because I was always learning thngs from them. I believe that the older generation knows what we are going thru beause they hae already went thru it themsleves. I think it is just hard that the younger generation doenst realize this until the older people are gone. I have a girl in my class right now that is just 16 years old she skipped a few grades. She thinks it is great that she is iin class with older adults and she asks us all the time for advice about things that is going on her life. It makes a person feel useful again.
The Not So Trophy Wifehttp://notsotrophywife.blogspot.com/
@teddybears4ever2 and everyoe else
Thank you so much for the encouraement. I swear i have gottne more encouragement from the ladies here on SM then I have from my own family. It means a great deal to me that all of you have been so supprtive. Until I receves so much encouragement from all of you I was really going to quit and just back to the old way of doing evverything where I was always at my childrens and husbands beck and call. I was to the point that I didnt want to even get on the computer and check into class and do the work that was needed to be done. I had to force myself to do anything that dealt with school. Now I am getting back to my old self where I love loging n and reading all the answers and questions everyone has been posting in class. Thank yu all it doe mean a gread deall to me.
very interesting name by the way, I hear my brother in law telling his wife this all the time. Thank you for your kind words. I never feel over whelmed about chool just my family school is actually easier then I thought it would be. i am an Honor srudent whch in itself is odd because in high school I wasnt that good of a student. I guess that was because at 16 i was married and had a baby on the way. Anyway sorry to be tooting my own horn and I dont mean to be bragging. School for me s a refuge, I know that sounds odd because no one looks at shool that way but i do. I can go into my room shut the door and start reading and doing hoework. It lets me get away from all the family issues that are always going on. I think it is great that you hav been going to school to get a BA n Psychology. When was younger I had thought about being an exotic dancer, but because of the way my family is and was I dropped the idea real fast. They would have disowned me. Which actually mght have been a good hing.LOL
I have a daughter that is a dancer she makes good money and she enjoys what she does. She is always able to make sure he hildren have what they need or want for the most part. THis s the ony chld I have that wncourages me to do anything outside of the house and without the family. She tells me all the time that I need a life that doesnt always revolve aroung them and the grandchildren.
Because of all the encouragement that everyone has given I have not quit chool and I no longer feel as if I am being selfish or doing something wrong. I love school and I will continue til I get my Doctorit. Than you again for you story
It is sogreat to hear that I have inspired someone to do something he or she wanted to do. Dont you find it tht we are able to inspires in a way that we arent able to inspire our own family members? My 4 year od grandson just asked me why I am sitting here smiling so much. I told him about you wanting to go back to school and that you said I was an inspiration. He looked at me in a way that only 4 year old boys and do and said "But Mimi you are my speration to cause I going to go to school like you when I get big. I wants to learn when i get big too". Of course this has made me sit here and cry like a baby and he thought he had done something wrong. He is setting here hugging me and saying he loves me and that he is glad that he can make me cry happy tears. Boy do I love thiis little boy and he will never know what he just did for me. Actually none of you will really know what you have done for me the way you have all encouraged me. Thank you so much.
I know what you mean about having the different age groups in online classes. I didnt realize that there would be such a diverse group of people. It isnt just the age that is different for me it is also the many places that the people live in. One student lives in China, another in Germay, and many more countries. I never realized that there would be so many dfferent cultures. I have not only learned from the Instructors i have also learned so much form the other students. As we were talking the other day in class it isnt the Instructors that are teaching us it is the other students and ourselves. We are our own teachers. The Instructor also agree with this she said that she is just there to make sure we are honest and understand what is expected of the assignments. I like the freedom that online classes give me. In the clesses you have taken do you have to be in learniing teams? The college that i go to makes us work in learning teams. It drives me crazy waiting on other people to finish his or her part of the assignment.
Yes, I know what you mean with some of these people talking as if they are in second grade. The requirements for my school is we post the DQ's on a certain day and we have to respond to 2 of our class mate on 4 seperate day of the week. This is counter as participation for the week. We can post more if we choose but no less. As for the slag in the chat rooms they all talk really wier with all the slag that is used, most of the time I cant understand what some of them are saying so I pretty much dont enteract in the chats. However, in the class room no one is suppose to use slang and most of the time the Instructors will catch it and if he or she does you loose points on your grade. I am an Honor student which is a shock to me because I never thought I would make any better then a "C" in my classes but that isnt the case I have turned out to be a great learner. As I said in each class we are require to be on learning teams and most of the Instructers will allow you to be with people that you have been on a team with in previous classes (I just tried this in my present class). Although there are those that will give you who he or whe wants you to be with. I have had some lulu's on teams with me. today I am the one to be putting all the work together and correcting any mistakes and turning it into the PC and WP to make sure it is up to standard before turning it into the Instructor. I aksed that each individual parts were turned in yesterday. I am still waiting on 3 people to turn in thier parts. The 2 other people that I have been on a team wth before have already given me their parts. I also have an issue with being later for anything but it doesnt seem to be the case here with some of my team members. It is serously driving me crazy waiting on them.
Dont worry about calling my son a little twirp, I have called him for more then that lately. I think hs attitude has a great deal to do with the fact that we wont say no to any of them out of fear that they wiill cut us out of our grandbabies lives. They all know that those babies mean everything to us and basically they are what keeps my Hubby going. When he had a bad time with hs health issues he will tell the dr. that he isnt leaving this world until he sees his grandbabies grown up. If our sons and daughters were to take the babies away from us then he would just give up I know he would. Another reason that we never say no to this one so is because he is a full blown alcoholic and hs girlfriend has n issues with it. She has state that she will not let him stop drinking. We also suspect that she is doing drugs. N proof but there are tmes she has to be on something. Anyway, we keep the babies because they are saer here with us. Our son got peed off at us and kept them away for over a month my husband and I were both lost without them.
Yes, my grandson is a great little feller he is always telling us that we are hs favorites and that he dont want to go with mommy and daddy. We have talked to him and told him that he has to go with them some times because he is their little boy and they love him. He said they dnt do anything for him so he dont care. He is talking about teaching him things and taking him outside to play and be a normal little boy. Little children know the difference between loving them and just putting up with them. We do everything we can to let them be normal children even though they are being raised by grandparents most of the time.
Thank all of you for rooting for me it means a great deal. It is beacuse of all the encouragement that I get from all of you Ihavent stopped going to school.
@Country, watching my niece is similer to your story. when shes here i know she is fed, warm,and clean. my sister isnt a bad mom, but she can be pretty obtuse.
when i was 23 i had a saturday class at the community college and we had a 72 year old women in out class. she was amazing! we got her on fb by the end of the semester to keep in touch. she would just take classes to stay busy after her dh passed. she passed about a year ago. i cant tell you how many students showed up at her services. she was such an amazing women.
i plan on returning to school this summer. i could not imagine my family not being supportive. dont be afraid to tootyour own horn! we are here for the good and the bad :D
Thank you sometimes i feel I am to old for everything. I love the fact that all of you have given me so much support and encouragement. I have found that SM is a great place to go when there is no one else in your life that actually understands or encourages you to do better for yourself and your family.
I have already done this. If I hadnt then I would not have been able to get into college. Most of the exspences were paid by the grant that I receved but it wasnt enough to get me thru school.
I think it is great that you are taking care of your niece. I think it is important that family is always there for each other. I love to hear about men and women that have gone back to school. I am doing it for the good of my family. At least that is what i tell them becuase if something happens to their daddy I will be able to go out and get a job and take care of myself. I will not have to depend on them for what I need in life.
I think it is great that you are going back to school full time when your children are in school. However, think about doing classes online while they are still little. I hear all these women that have children saying all the time that they cant go to school and take care of their families. I just look at them and tell them they are full of crap. I I can care for a diabled husband, raise two grandchildren and work part time for my brother in law at the flower shop and still go to college and be an honor student then anyone can do it if they just budget their time. I have a scedule and most of the time it is something that we stick to all the time. However, there are times that things arise and the schedule gets messed up. I dont swet this I make allowances. I something happens that i dont get something do in a day like the laundry, or cleaning the bath room then it goes on the next days schedule and it gets done. A person has to set his or her mind on doing something to make it happen.
I have a facebook and I have made some great friends from going to school. I would like to think that when anything happens to me all these new friends will be there. I was told by one of the students the other day that I am an insperation to her because I dont loose control in no situation. She said that she would like to be like me some day. She also said that she gets into a situation and will ask herself what ould Emma do and she will calm down and handle it. I wish I could inspire my children like this. I wander why it is that we can inspire others but not those closes to us?
I think that it is great that a 76 year old lady had the gumpshun to go back to school. I would like to be like that when I get that age.Have no fears of being looked at as odd becuase I wanted to keep busy. I have a FB and talk to several of the other students that I have met thru classes. I would like to think that i am a good person as your friend was and that there would be many other students that would come to my services if something were to happen to me. however, because I go to school online it would be hard for them to really do something like this. I dont know of any other student in my community other then myself in any of my classes.
Country said:@LeesI have already done this. If I hadnt then I would not have been able to get into college. Most of the exspences were paid by the grant that I receved but it wasnt enough to get me thru school.