Welfare recipient on vacation
  • KindredSpiritKindredSpirit
    Posts: 184Member

    I usually don't post on here because the first time I did I got absolutely ripped to shreds, but I just wanted to say that I feel like this was me saying this about my husband's ex.  Going on vacations, going out to eat all the time and getting the kids Ipods and such while receiving welfare is her to a T.  I have nothing against people getting help when they need it, but some people just abuse it for years and years and I think it's ridiculous.

    I know that one day the kids will appreciate that my husband and I both work hard for what we have even though we can't afford a lot of luxuries like they get from her.  They are on vacation as we speak...

  • AnonUser35
    Posts: 535Guest
    I completely understand. I know some people that get help, but take vacations, have hundreds of dollars in hair and makeup products, designer clothes, bags, shoe, etc. It is one of the reasons I think the welfare system gets a bad rep.
  • BellaBefanaBellaBefana
    Posts: 10,374Member
    I'd have to agree with you...you don't do things when you can't pay the bills, but maybe someone paid for it for her?

    By the same token, it's a humbling experience when you need help, and I don't feel like one should have to give up everything they have if they need help for a time...
    Bite me, cupcake!
  • squishsquish
    Posts: 1,107Member
    If you think she is truly abusing the system, you can report her. There are hotlines for such and dss will do an investigation into unreported income/resources. I work for a dss agency and we eventually come across the information and do the fraud referral ourselves.
  • KindredSpiritKindredSpirit
    Posts: 184Member
    @BellaBefana I agree with you about people who need help for a period of time.  But this woman has not worked for the entire 7 years that my husband and I have been together and God knows for how long before that.  They divorced in 2001 so it's not like she's still recovering from that.
  • regpregp
    Posts: 1,445Member
    I get you. I know two examples of this personally. Vacations, nails done, newer car than I have, iphones, ipads, etc.
    I know no one paid for it for them because they are not shy about what they have and do.
    The only thing saving you from me is Jesus.
  • OtakuHimeOtakuHime
    Posts: 357Member
    So here's a question..are people on welfare not allowed to have nice things?? I work, go to school and get some food assistance, and medical for my special needs children. There is no way I could afford to take care of all their needs on my own, so does that mean I don't deserve something nice? All because I made a mistake and married(and divorced) a loser who can't hold a job, or take care of his kids? I always feel guilty if I buy something nice for myself. I'm allowed to have nice things too. On the other hand I know that there are people who completely abuse the system and don't even need the help and I think that is wrong.
  • BellaBefanaBellaBefana
    Posts: 10,374Member
    @OtakuHime:  no, it doesn't.  believe me, right now I feel guilty because I refuse to give up my 40th birthday present to myself, that I got when I made six figures...a Rolex.  But I've also been out of work for a year, and many, many of the things I have I've had for years.  I sold all "extra" jewelry that meant nothing to me, but I'm with you, just because I'm having a little financial trouble right now, I shouldn't have to give up everything I have to get help.
    Bite me, cupcake!
  • Charlotte_SometimesCharlotte_Sometimes
    Posts: 1,761Member
    OtakuHime said:

    So here's a question..are people on welfare not allowed to have nice things?? I work, go to school and get some food assistance, and medical for my special needs children. There is no way I could afford to take care of all their needs on my own, so does that mean I don't deserve something nice? All because I made a mistake and married(and divorced) a loser who can't hold a job, or take care of his kids? I always feel guilty if I buy something nice for myself. I'm allowed to have nice things too. On the other hand I know that there are people who completely abuse the system and don't even need the help and I think that is wrong.





    No.  Didn't you hear?  People on assistance are supposed to eat beans & rice every night.   Take the bus.   No movies, never eat out, take the kids to the park if you want entertainment.  If your kid has a birthday and you want them to have a cake you need to bake that cake from scratch including milling the flour!  

    Obviously I am being sarcastic, but so many people seem to hold this kind of view and it's insane.   Truth is, so many people (single parents mainly) wouldn't need assistance in the 1st place if the attorney general's offices in various states would do their freakin' job and collect child support.  My firstborn son's father paid CS for 3 years and only because he was in the Army and I wrote to his commanding officer, providing him with the acknowledgement of paternity he'd signed, and they made him pay. 

    Once he was out of the Army he didn't pay a penny until the Attorney General's office "found" his father when he was about to turn 18!  Then, they would only go back for the past 4 years he didn't pay because they found no record of the paternity papers.  It was BS and my son's father lived about six miles from me for my son's entire childhood and worked a good job as an aircraft mechanic but they never could "find" him.  

    Point of my long ramble is that many parents get away with not supporting their children at all and force the other parent to seek government assistance.

    Now to get back on track;  I have been judged in that way.  We took a vacation to Colorado one spring break.  We actually won a $1000 gift card from Southwest Airlines from playing a sweepstakes game from the Coke bottle codes!    It covered our airfare and then we spent some of our income tax refund money (from both of us working all year) on the hotel and sightseeing. 

    It was the first real trip my kids had ever taken and they got to see snow!  But yeah we got comments about it because we were also on food stamps and the kids got medicaid that year.  It felt very much like we were expected to just "suffer appropriately" for the fact that we received any help.   Never mind the fact that we both worked and were in school as well.
    "But a lesson must be lived in order to be learned" Ani DiFranco, Manhole
    "Screw you guys! I'm going home." Eric Cartman
  • deviltwinsmommadeviltwinsmomma
    Posts: 2,743Member
    Omg @Charlotte_sometimes you are freaking A-mazingggg!!!
    Sweetie, if this woman isnt abusing her kids or smokin meth using the kids sippy cups. Let her spoil his children. And please momma dont speak ill of their momma in front of them, it boils at hatred in children you would not believe... speaking as a momma of a 9 yr dd that visits her daddy every other weekend...
    my mother used to sing me a song. It went like this: "Life is short, life is shit, and soon it will be over.
  • Charlotte_SometimesCharlotte_Sometimes
    Posts: 1,761Member
    @deviltwinsmomma  Ok, thanks?  I don't know why but thanks. :)   
    "But a lesson must be lived in order to be learned" Ani DiFranco, Manhole
    "Screw you guys! I'm going home." Eric Cartman
  • deviltwinsmommadeviltwinsmomma
    Posts: 2,743Member



    No.  Didn't you hear?  People on assistance are supposed to eat beans & rice every night.   Take the bus.   No movies, never eat out, take the kids to the park if you want entertainment.  If your kid has a birthday and you want them to have a cake you need to bake that cake from scratch including milling the flour!  

    Obviously I am being sarcastic, but so many people seem to hold this kind of view and it's insane.   Truth is, so many people (single parents mainly) wouldn't need assistance in the 1st place if the attorney general's offices in various states would do their freakin' job and collect child support.  My firstborn son's father paid CS for 3 years and only because he was in the Army and I wrote to his commanding officer, providing him with the acknowledgement of paternity he'd signed, and they made him pay. 

    Once he was out of the Army he didn't pay a penny until the Attorney General's office "found" his father when he was about to turn 18!  Then, they would only go back for the past 4 years he didn't pay because they found no record of the paternity papers.  It was BS and my son's father lived about six miles from me for my son's entire childhood and worked a good job as an aircraft mechanic but they never could "find" him.  

    Point of my long ramble is that many parents get away with not supporting their children at all and force the other parent to seek government assistance.

    Now to get back on track;  I have been judged in that way.  We took a vacation to Colorado one spring break.  We actually won a $1000 gift card from Southwest Airlines from playing a sweepstakes game from the Coke bottle codes!    It covered our airfare and then we spent some of our income tax refund money (from both of us working all year) on the hotel and sightseeing. 

    It was the first real trip my kids had ever taken and they got to see snow!  But yeah we got comments about it because we were also on food stamps and the kids got medicaid that year.  It felt very much like we were expected to just "suffer appropriately" for the fact that we received any help.   Never mind the fact that we both worked and were in school as well.



    all of this and more!!! you are one cool ass chick! @Charlotte_Sometimes

    plus i know the feeling of being judged, my exh newly exgf talked a whole bunch of mess because of the child support payment .. my dumbass ex would use me as an excuse not to pay rent at her house...

    my mother used to sing me a song. It went like this: "Life is short, life is shit, and soon it will be over.
  • AnonUser35
    Posts: 535Guest
    You can have nice things and be on assistance, but I don't think it is right for someone who is on assistance to go out and buy a Louie bag....paid for in cash. If they can afford that kind if bag, surely they can afford their groceries.
  • Charlotte_SometimesCharlotte_Sometimes
    Posts: 1,761Member
    @deviltwinsmomma   awwww thanks, you're making me blush! :)   And yeah I am a little sore from a recent comment from my mom.   She was referring to my 20 year old who has been kind of directionless, and she said "Maybe he has no desire to get a job because he has not really grown up seeing his parents working"... and my jaw hit the damned floor.  Not grown up with seeing his parents working! Holy fuck.  

    Yeah, maybe not my useless exH!   But this made me crazy.  When he was little and his brother was little, I worked at their school.  I wanted them in private school so I worked as the afterschool teacher and as the janitor in exchange for tuition and received a small check too.  I also sold on ebay.  My ex sat around and got drunk and played video games, and his "work" was occasionally calling his parents to beg for money.  Even though he was the one with the computer science degree and the ability to earn 50k a year if he'd just get off his ass!  Whereas I was the HS dropout w/2 little kids.

    When we split, and then  I was with DW, DW worked FT at a convenience store in a scary part of town, and I did ebay full time, made the same as a FT job,  then I got a job doing data entry from home where I was often required to do mandatory overtime and worked sixty hours a week.  Did that for years, then I got a job with a temp agency doing more data entry just not at home.  Then I worked in a law office, while I was in school.  Now I have been a full time student but have always done ebay and odd jobs and whatever else on the side to supplement what we get in school aid. DW too.  All this time she's worked at a pizza place or mowing lawns or some combo AND school and my mother had the nerve to say that to me!  There was a six month period where DW was out of work in all the years we've been together, and she has severe physical problems from a back injury when she was a teen.  She has nerve damage and chronic pain and sometimes her legs give out completely  but she's always worked anyway and only cut back when we started school full time.

    I just lost it on her... I told her just because I managed to be home when my kids were home and work jobs from home and work jobs where I could take them along when I was little doesn't mean it isn't work!  She's left me with my brother all the time, then I was a latchkey kid, so I guess that's the only way it counts as "working" to her.  If you are gone from 7 am to 7pm every day.  Pfffft.

    Sorry, I just really really had to get that out.  Been bugging me for a while and telling her anything is like talking to a brick wall.   She likes to say how I have always had someone to "take care of me" and never had to take care of myself and I wonder what planet she is living on.  She also likes to say how DW should go back to work at the pizza place and let me focus on school and then she can go to school later instead of us both being in school @ the same time.  Sad thing is, there is more income in this house from student grants and loans than when we were both working full time crap jobs.
    "But a lesson must be lived in order to be learned" Ani DiFranco, Manhole
    "Screw you guys! I'm going home." Eric Cartman
  • BirdieBirdie
    Posts: 2,377Member
    We went to a super nice restraunt last night for our anniversary. I got the wtf look from alot of people. Only reason we could go was because my FIL gave us a gift card to it. My gift cost 20 including shipping because I know how to find deals. It's a very nice ring courtesy of Nomorerack. We are on food assistance, Only. We pay our child support, pay our rent, bills and all of that. It sucks being looked down on when I get something new or nice. Most of my clothes have holes in them, I never pay full price for anything, my kiddos have hand me downs, which I in turn hand down to help someone else. Also, I'm a SAHM. That also gets crazy looks when people find out I'm on food stamps. We sat down and weighed both options of me working or not working and the cost of both. I would be working to pretty much pay for gas to get to work and daycare to keep the kids while I worked. We are doing the best we can with what we have and what we think is best for our family. I'm tired of being called lazy and told I live off the government. Sorry not the case.

    That was a long rant. Sorry.

    SMSM_s_5

  • deviltwinsmommadeviltwinsmomma
    Posts: 2,743Member
    @Charlotte_Sometimes shit girl are you my sister??? I still get crap from my mom for 1. dropping out of college because im the only one in the family that did, but my kids are clothed and fed with a roof over their heads.. fuckin old bat...
    2. having a bag of skittles for kids.. lol thats a whole different thread about old fashion racism.
    Any way you are a rockin chick!! I call it how I see it! \m/
    my mother used to sing me a song. It went like this: "Life is short, life is shit, and soon it will be over.
  • BellaBefanaBellaBefana
    Posts: 10,374Member
    I say "screw 'em" all...when you have kids, you do what you gotta do, including humiliating yourself!
    Bite me, cupcake!
  • BellaBefanaBellaBefana
    Posts: 10,374Member
    @Kim: nobody should be buying a Louis bag, cash or otherwise!  [-X  I can't stand those stores, I would go to get donations for a $500/person charity event and I've NEVER met such rude people in my life!  I was in sales, and I learned fast not to judge how much someone can spend based on how they look!
    Bite me, cupcake!
  • Charlotte_SometimesCharlotte_Sometimes
    Posts: 1,761Member
    @deviltwinsmomma   fuckin old bat is right! LOL   Who knows, maybe we're related and it's genetic... don't we live in the same city?  My mother bitched and bitched at me to go back to school (I dropped out when I got pregnant at 19), then when I went back she was not happy because I am getting my Master's and she thinks I should have gone with a 2 year tech program. 

    Just like she bitched and bitched at me to leave my ex before he was my ex.  Then had a cow because I met and got involved with a woman instead, who is good to me and nothing like the ex.  Never happy! ;)

    Some people, you can NEVER win, ever.  So to hell with them.  I just hate that her birthday is coming and I am obligated to interact with her.
    "But a lesson must be lived in order to be learned" Ani DiFranco, Manhole
    "Screw you guys! I'm going home." Eric Cartman
  • BellaBefanaBellaBefana
    Posts: 10,374Member
    I think it's just mothers in general...mines been driving me bat shit crazy too....
    Bite me, cupcake!
  • Desilou
    Posts: 22Member
    I've been wondering about this for awhile. It seems that the general opinion of America thinks if a person/family is receiving welfare benefits, then they should be almost 3rd world poor. I keep thinking that if someone allows their selves to fall so deep into poverty they are most likely are not going to rise back up.

       There is always going to be abusers of our welfare system. But everybody deserves to have decent clothes, an occasional meal out and ab-day present/x-mas presents. And a yes, and few minor luxury items even.

       As a person that receives food benefits I have become almost paranoid about what people see me  buy at the grocery store. I know as soon as I take that EBT card out, the cashier and the person behind me will start critiquing my purchases. So much judgement.
  • Ashdawn684Ashdawn684
    Posts: 979Member
    Since I have left DH I am now on some assistance, I am on food assistance, yes I have an iPhone because I got it when things were not the way they are now, my mother has me on her plan and paid my last bill to keep it on I totally get judged if someone sees me with it. I feel like I have to do some swift ninja moves at the register with my EBT card so no one knows
    ~Live life to the fullest, or die trying~
  • Charlotte_SometimesCharlotte_Sometimes
    Posts: 1,761Member
    Guys, gals, don't let 'em bring you down at the register.  Honestly.  People don't know jack about your situation and have no business judging. 

    You might look at ME on a good day and think I have nice things/money.  I buy ALL of my clothes/shoes/purses at thrift stores and do my own hair and I can look like a million bucks when I have literally spent a total of $10 on an entire outfit.  :)   There's no point in judging people by appearances or thinking you know their situation because you are probably wrong!

    Of course, that's on a good day.  Most days it's dark roots and whatever the hell was clean. lol
    "But a lesson must be lived in order to be learned" Ani DiFranco, Manhole
    "Screw you guys! I'm going home." Eric Cartman
  • WillileeWillilee
    Posts: 1,621Member
    It's not about people having nice things. It's about the people who have a new coach purse every month, or their kids have new iPhones and iPads every time one comes out, or they have a new $40,000 car every year. There was one of those at DSD's school. 4 kids, 2 new cars, and flaunted her welfare checks like "yeah I'm on welfare! Can you believe I still buy all this?". It's THOSE motherfuckers who are the problem. How about we give that $ to someone who is struggling? Don't talk to me about your fucking welfare check after you tell me you ONLY shop at Wegman's because their stuff is such better quality. STFU.
  • mommydeliriousmommydelirious
    Posts: 4,415Member
    I don't really understand HOW people could afford all those things on welfare. Im in Canada, but its not all that much unless you have a litter of children and get x amount for each of those as well. I would think rent would take up a part of that, then there's normal bills like housephone, heat, lights, car, insurance, food...how the hell do you afford an ipad? 

    Photobucket
  • regpregp
    Posts: 1,445Member

    I don't really understand HOW people could afford all those things on welfare. Im in Canada, but its not all that much unless you have a litter of children and get x amount for each of those as well. I would think rent would take up a part of that, then there's normal bills like housephone, heat, lights, car, insurance, food...how the hell do you afford an ipad? 



    Here are a few options:
    They lied about how many people they need support for.
    They lied about having other income.
    They get loads of food stamps and sell them for cash (that happens A LOT here)
    They have those nice things for awhile after they get their tax return or cash assistance and then the things get repossessed later.

    @bellabefana - Don't give that watch up. You'll be back on your feet soon. Someday you can give it to your daughter and tell her how resourceful you were and how you made it through everything and still have this keepsake for her.
    The only thing saving you from me is Jesus.
  • BellaBefanaBellaBefana
    Posts: 10,374Member
    The ones who flaunt it seem to be the ones who abuse the system...the ones who really need it are generally the ones mortified by it...
    Bite me, cupcake!
  • BellaBefanaBellaBefana
    Posts: 10,374Member
    And I have NO intention of giving up my watch...I paid cash for it, it's mine...my old engagement ring, that's another story... :>
    Bite me, cupcake!
  • BellaBefanaBellaBefana
    Posts: 10,374Member
    What pisses me off about all this the most, is where the fuck are they getting money for extras?  I get the same amount of unemployment as someone who makes 30K/year, but I have bills that would match triple that income (and I'm lucky, I don't "overspend" or have a huge mortgage) and now that I am getting the unemployment (I waited to apply, never thinking I'd be out of work this long) they lowered the food assistance by $100+/month...it was barely enough to begin with.
    Bite me, cupcake!
  • regpregp
    Posts: 1,445Member
    @bellabefana, probably not any legal channel. @madme is right, these people usually have no problem stealing their children's or relatives' identities to get utilities, vehicles, rent-to-own furniture, etc.
    The only thing saving you from me is Jesus.
  • MistressHeidiMistressHeidi
    Posts: 984Member
    I think a lot of the time it's the one who do illegal things that make a bad name for everyone else on assistance. I received assistance for a short time years ago after both my xh and I lost our jobs. It was enough to barely survive and buy food, that was it.

    Now I work, my pay is salary plus commission, so it fluctuates wildly and I don't get overtime so I work an insane number of hours plus most Saturdays. My neighbor who lives a few doors down is on public assistance, neither he or his wife work, and have not worked for as long as I've known them, which is about 10 years. They buy a new car every few years, a new couch every year, they take vacations every year to Disneyland, Six Flags, places like that. I work and haven't had a new car ever, my car is 20 years old and breaks down all the time and I very seldom can afford to fix it right away.

    I'm not saying people who get assistance shouldn't have nice things. everyone should be able to have nice things. But it makes you very bitter when you bust your ass 6 days a week, struggle to pay your bills, can't afford to do anything, don't qualify for any type of help because everyone says you make to much money and you watch someone else, who doesn't work, doesn't pay taxes, get everything. I guess a lot of it is jelousy, but I can't help it.
  • OtakuHimeOtakuHime
    Posts: 357Member
    @Ashdawn684 I have an iPhone too! I used to be embarrassed about my EBT card, but now, I think more people use them, then not. I also have a fancy computer. I use both for school and work, and pay for it. I've never been on a vacation, I've never had a car new than 15 years old, I don't go to movies, rarely eat out, and calculate everything I spend down to the penny. I have 3 special needs kids which make it really hard to work, but I recently got a part time job with  a person who lets me work flexible hours. I can't afford daycare, the kids and I have got out to eat as a family maybe a total of 10 times in the last year. My friends call me the miracle money management because I'm not in debt (other than school loans). I don't have cable, but do have internet (for school), I do have video game systems, that I have taking great care of, and I only by used games for my kids. That's our form of entertainment. I've just recently been able to save money. Being of low income doesn't mean you have to suffer like you live in a 3rd world country. I already know America's poor is rich compared to them.
  • Jjva
    Posts: 47Member
    I may get flamed, but I don't think you DO get nice things when youre on public assistance. I'm not saying that nice things you acquired in more flush times should be given up, but buying a new car or new couch or new purse? And by new I mean brand new, not previously owned. New to you is different.
    I try not to judge, because I know that things are not always what they seem...I.e. Gift cards given by family for things like vacation, etc. But it's hard sometimes.
    And I also have a problem with someone choosing to be a SAHM and take assistance....but only IF working would no longer require assistance. If working would literally only cover gas and daycare and would still require someone to be on assistance, then yeah, I'm ok with it. But if choosing to be a SAHM means you're getting assistance, I have a problem with that.
  • OtakuHimeOtakuHime
    Posts: 357Member
    Forgot to mention I shop at Walmart or clearance ONLY!
  • fantasticalmamafantasticalmama
    Posts: 139Member
    If the exwife is the primary custodian of the children and has to be on welfare (atleast 130% below the poverty line) I wouldn't be complaining too much about her expensive habits, I'm sure a judge would gladly up the child support so that the state didn't have to pay her welfare.
  • OtakuHimeOtakuHime
    Posts: 357Member
    True, sorry for going off on a rant, that's a subject that really bothers me.
  • regpregp
    Posts: 1,445Member
    madme said:

    I think that some you you girls are missing the point of the OC.  There are a handful of people that full on abuse the system.  We're not talking about the people that genuinely *need* assistance, I think that the OC and the other gals who are referring to the "lifers" as I so delicately put it.  The ones that flaunt their toys, but bitch about not getting enough money... It's NOT fun having to be on assistance - I have been on both sides of that fence myself.  However - when you're a "lifer" you see things differently, like you're entitled to gov't money, that the utility companies are "assholes' because YOU don't pay your bills, and - lastly - you own nothing, and aren't trying to make better for yourself. YKWIM?



    exactly
    The only thing saving you from me is Jesus.
  • beambeam
    Posts: 1,579Member

    There are FAR MORE rich and well off people I know using / abusing / swindling / working / loopholing / dick slapping the system to fill their pockets and they get away with far $$ that takes programs and help away from people who truly need it - of course there are a few true abusers but I think some people may need a pick-me-up or a nice outfit for interviewing.
     
    How about women getting paid the same as men when they do work?
    A broken heart is a rite of passage and, looking back, I must have wanted one pretty badly. "Kick me," I demanded, and when somebody finally did, I burst like a cheap piñata. - DAVID SEDARIS
  • irishlassirishlass
    Posts: 7,057Member
    Im kind of angry reading this thread. Im going to try really hard to be... nice!!

    There are FEW people who abuse the system. The vast majority of people on assistance need it, and use it properly. Its those horrifically negative and plain MEAN attitudes that make people like me feel incredibly guilty for buying myself the tshirt that i bought today, which cost me one pound. One. I bought my son his school uniform 2 days ago and had to buy the cheapest of the cheap shirts. They are going to feel like hes wearing plastic. But if I so much as go NEAR the nicer shop, I feel guilty and like I dont deserve to have good things. 

    We are an advanced society, a 'forward thinking' world. Why are we still so judgemental of each other?! We cant POSSIBLY know the situation of anyone other than ourselves. 

    Well feast on this. I am on FULL benefits. I went to Tenerife for THREE MONTHS. We lived in a gorgeous house in one of the most prestigious complexes in the South. Judge away. What you wouldnt know, is that bf's dad paid for the flights and accomodation. I simply used my benefits to buy food in tenerife and we ate out 4 times for dinner. once was valentines day, bf paid. once my mum paid. once my dad paid. once we all split it, our leaving dinner. 
    "Be who you are and say what you feel. Because those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter." - Dr. Seuss
  • momtomany74
    Posts: 294Member

    Okay- I am new here and certainly hope I do not make a bad impression.

    My opinion is this; If you're a working family trying to make ends met in this depressed ass economy, by golly you PAY into the system so why shouldn't you get it back in the form of foodstamps, medical, or anything else you need?

    If you're a single mother who got stuck into your current situation, then I believe you should get all of the help you can.

    Here is an example, and I swear this is all 100% true. I have this "friend" (I use the term lightly because not only is she a system scamming leech, but a total emotional vampire) who sucks the system dry, and plays and scams it like a pro. Several people reported her but to no avail. About 9 years ago she was indeed working and paid for IVF to conceive her first child. After that, no more. Once she saw how she could live and find way to scam, she went onto conceive her 6 year old twins on IVF. How does a welfare recipient afford IVF? By telling her father and grandmother she needs money for "surgery". So baby fever again strikes when the twins were 3 and she fucks this married asshole she meets online and has a fourth child all the while taking every kind of assistance there is to take, as she had since giving birth to her oldest. Well, said baby spent a week in the NICU and she decides she didn't like his start so he wants a "do-over". The poor baby was 3 months old and she goes an get knocked up with #5 and when the government didn't give her her extra "paycheck" for popping out yet another, she had a FIT!

    How, you may ask, does she live well. Let me tell you. She claims to be mentally unwell enough to work and for years had doctors sign waivers for her not to work but this year, she couldn't find anyone who would vouch she could not work so she forges doctor's siggy. Gets reported but nothing ever came of it. I didn't report her but her friend's friends did. She lives in a nice 5 bedroom home, gets section 8 to pay, foodstamps WIC (she breastfed her baby but got the formula package and sold her formula for $$) full medical for her and her 5 kids and cash assistance. She also gets ssdi fo baby #4 because he's "slow".If she has a month where she would rather go out eat like 20 times than pay her ultilites she goes to her local community action counsel and plays the "poor single mom" card and gets it all paid for. She has been going to school online for years and gets student loans which she doesn't report to welfare and uses the money to go to Disney World every year. Also, she plays all the different toy charities at X-Mas time when she splurges on presents when she gets her all loan money. So her kids sometimes have 50 presents a piece to open every X-Mas. She is nowhere near getting a real degree and has about used up all the loans she can get. It's not like she' a good mother either. She is so nasty to all the kids (but thinks she can "but" their love) but whoever happens to be the baby at the time. I understand getting frustrated with your children, believe me, but there' no reason to call an 8 year old a cunt and wish death on her 5 year old dd when she didn't do as she wanted. And yes, people have called CPS on her a lot. Her kids are the rudest, most entitled brats and most people can't stand them around. When she goes out to eat, she lets her kids trash places but won't tip.

    Yes, I am pissed and bitter.

    Why? Because I worked my ass off for years and twice, even two jobs. I stopped working when my 5th child (who's special needs) became deathly ill. My husband is badly under-employed (the economy in our area) and works his ass off whether he's sick or not (the man goes to work vomitting at times) and comes home in the worst pain sometimes. Do we get a fraction of the things she has? Hell no! We have not had a family vacation in 6 years, rarely ever go out to eat and don't qualify for help on utilities because he "makes too much." When he ges paid, rent and all our bills suck every dime away. My childen from my first marriage get a pitiance in child support. I think what burnt my ass the worst is the times I have had little to eat and Miss Welfare Leech is at a restraunt and orders her food with me on the phone.

    I truly hate that woman and others like her who make people who need a hand up look bad because of people like her. If you made it through, bless your heart.


     

  • AnonUser35
    Posts: 535Guest
    I don't think anyone here is knocking anyone for being on benefits and truly needing them. But I personally know someone that bought a $1000 pursue in cash while "needing" benefits. A THOUSAND DOLLAR PURSE...so, yeah, in this situation, I judge!
  • BellaBefanaBellaBefana
    Posts: 10,374Member
    The only time I've ever judged anyone, and working in a hospital we got LOTS of Medi-Cal patients, was this one woman who brought her school age kid in for an xray and hands me her medi-cal card.  I proceed to complete the registration forms and get to the guarantor section...I know what her answer is going to be, but I ask who her employer is.  She says, "oh I can't work, I have children."  Now, I work with mostly single moms at this job, I was doing my M.A., but this response pissed me off so badly, my sweetest, nicest response was, "oh, gee, I wish I could stay home with mine, but I have to work." Or something to that effect.

    I had another friend who took a $1500/month cut in her benefits to accept a full time job at the hospital...I get that child care is expensive, and sometimes it doesn't pay to work, but shit, people, they have provisions for that too...I'll have a lot more respect for the single parent flipping burgers getting all the assistance they need, than one like this chick...
    Bite me, cupcake!
  • BellaBefanaBellaBefana
    Posts: 10,374Member
    And, for the record, I don't want to" know how to work the system..."
    Bite me, cupcake!
  • DemandaDemanda
    Posts: 5,920Member
    It used to really cut my grass when I worked... we held the contract for welfare recipients to get their eyeglasses, and yes, often they would pull out big wads of cash, or drive away in a new car, or have on designer clothes and shit.  It is hard not to let it piss you off when you see it day in and day out.  But, and I know this is just one eyeglass company in one city, these people were definitely in the minority.   

    Also, I'm not on welfare, but I do live off student loans and well below the poverty line. I have nice things, I take vacations, I eat out a lot... I'm spoiled by some of the people in my life.  So too could these people be, ya know?  My BF paid for my last vacation as a Valentines Gift, my parents the one before that because they thought I deserved it. I don't wear cheap clothes, never have, never will.  Most of my clothes are from when I worked, and I always always always ask for clothes for Christmas and birthdays.  We just don't know someone's situation. 

    I do understand that some people will always abuse the system, and that's unfortunate and I think we have a right to be angry about that.  However, I'd rather some people abuse it than there be nothing in place. I have believed for a long time that there should be a cut off point to prevent lifers and that people should have to get training, or volunteer, or something for their benefits.  I make less than someone on welfare and I have to attend school and pass my courses (and I have to pay it back!) I don't have any problem with this,  I see nothing wrong with there being a level of accountabilty on behalf of someone receiving government assistance.  And I see nothing wrong with cutting them off if they don't comply or once they've reached their maximum allowed time.  Most everyone I know disagrees with me on this, but I stand by it.
    "The truth will set you free. But first, it will piss you off." ~ Gloria SteinemPhotobucket
  • regpregp
    Posts: 1,445Member
    @madme - You're welcome. The original post was about people who abuse the system, so I am speaking to that aspect. I didn't see anyone putting someone down simply for using assistance when they need it.
    The only thing saving you from me is Jesus.
  • KellynnKellynn
    Posts: 2,284Member
    @Irishlass, I don't begrudge you your 3 month vacation in Tenerife, I really don't. I'd just like to say, though, that I would never be able to holiday for months in a tropical location, no matter who paid for it, because I work. You do get full assistance, and so you were able to jet away. If you had a full time job, that would not be possible.
  • irishlassirishlass
    Posts: 7,057Member
    @madme nope, they knew I was away. To imply that I would partake in fraudulent activity is quite frankly disgusting. 
    And, while I was typing, more comments were added. I will not address every single comment, because that would take too long. Its a message board, isn't it appropriate to comment on threads? Am I missing the point?

    @CKLW you've proved my point. You have no idea in what way I was able to jet away. You dont know what I was doing there. Or my situation, or if I am even able to work at all. YOU may not be able to leave for three months, but someone else may be. You dont know. Quick to judge. Its not good. It isolates people further from society, and exacerbates already huge issues. 
    "Be who you are and say what you feel. Because those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter." - Dr. Seuss
  • nothingivebecomenothingivebecome
    Posts: 53Member
    @madme I don't know how things work where @irishlass is but I do know that she was on vacation. she didn't pack all her stuff and move there, rather went on holiday there. If their benefits work anything like state's benefits do then no one would be asking for their money back at all. My mother receives assistance...she called to make sure that she would be able to use it while she is here visiting this summer and was told absolutely she would. She was told that as long as she is not living here permanently then she was more than welcome to use her benefits wherever she wants to. I don't see where @irishlass taking advantage of the fact that she had a paid for vacation as taking advantage of the system at all. I see it accepting kindness from "family" 

    @cklw There are plenty of people who would not be able to take a 3 month vacation, no matter whether they work or not. Is your snarkiness really necessary? 
    I give up - nothing is what I've become!
  • irishlassirishlass
    Posts: 7,057Member
    @madme I saw that comment. I read the thread. I responded. I just didnt respond how you expected/wanted me to. I didnt have anything to say to that exact comment, just plenty of others in the thread. 
    Again, how I believe this society is mistaken. My life is not "time off". I do plenty. That 3 months away was not "time off". 

    @nothingivebecome thankyou so much! Im not feeling so eloquent this late in the day!
    "Be who you are and say what you feel. Because those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter." - Dr. Seuss
  • nothingivebecomenothingivebecome
    Posts: 53Member
    @irishlass I thought you worded your statements JUST FINE 
    I give up - nothing is what I've become!
  • irishlassirishlass
    Posts: 7,057Member
    @madme I get your point, I just dont agree! The 'we' certainly applies to you and CKLW. But again, you dont know what I was there for, you dont know who else could do the same. My sister, for example, spend a month in Texas at SXSW. She was working, but it was also a holiday. What you are saying is an assumption about alot of people's situations. Thats okay though. I understand alot of people feel resentful about working, which is unfortunate. And it gets directed to those who are in less fortunate positions. I wish it didnt. 
    "Be who you are and say what you feel. Because those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter." - Dr. Seuss