my 16yr baby sister forced to have anal sex by senior bf
  • Gianna
    Posts: 142Member
    My baby sister left her facebook open on my moms computer and my mom found an argument between my baby sister and her bf where she is apologizing to him and makes a promise "so sorry, I promise I will let u fuck me in the ass next time" my mom is unconsolible right now. The kid is there everyday and there now and my mom doesn't know wat to do. She asked me to talk to my sister and I'm soo freaking mad right now and I need your guys' advice. What should I do? What would u do? Is this normal of a boyfriend to ask now a days? I remember being 16 and I jus would never allow this? I felt like its a man power trip and if the try to do tha to you itsalmost disrespectful to yourself to allow it. Now iv been with my husband married for 4 yrs and been with him for 10, it has come up in our relationship and we've experimented, but all on my terms, bc "I" allow it or "I'm" interested. I can't imagine apologzng to some pig bf about it. Advice please!!!
  • RyotMommaRyotMomma
    Posts: 402Member
    Um rape much? If she doesn't want to, she has the right to say no
  • Peace
    Posts: 3,230Member
    Oh, wow. It sounds as if she is so afraid of losing him, she'll do anything. Including things she obviously doesn't want to do...maybe focus on respecting boundaries? That he wouldn't pressure her or make her feel bad about herself for having them? or her ever feel the need to apologize for them?
    And that sex hopefully is an intimate experience, two people mutually feeling cared for & respected.

    Good luck, I hope she listens to you.
    Your poor mom, I'm sorry for what she's going through right now.
  • SaraSara
    Posts: 1,064Member
    @Gianna, make a copy of the conversation. Sit down with the boy after pruning to garden...those pruning shears can be so heavy...and talk about how much you love your baby sister and would hate to think she would every be pressured into doing something she didn't want to do... Then again, I might not be the best person to be giving advice. I am overly protective of those I love. With my teenage son I have found flat out honesty and bluntness work the best. Good luck.
    Think of your problems as challenges to overcome not obstacles to be avoided.
  • Peace
    Posts: 3,230Member
    Or share a copy of that conversation with his mom...
  • LifeofchaosLifeofchaos
    Posts: 1,046Member
    A lot of girls in HS these days are having anal sex rather than vaginal sex to preserve their virginity. One of my friends a decade younger than me enlightened me to this fad. Strange strange works we are living in
  • meandmy243meandmy243
    Posts: 9,474Member

    A lot of girls in HS these days are having anal sex rather than vaginal sex to preserve their virginity. One of my friends a decade younger than me enlightened me to this fad. Strange strange works we are living in



    They are also doing it cause they cant get pregnant... That and a whole lotta oral sex... Found out my bfs little sister has been servicing guys on the bus and in the ffa barns...
    let them eat cake! because id rather have pie!!!
  • Gianna
    Posts: 142Member
    Omg! In just so confused? I'm feel like going back over there and telling him to get the such out of my moms house! But I know my little sister is going to take things negatively from then on, and not hear anything else I had to say to her from that point on. I need to stay on her side in order for her to trust me.
  • Gianna
    Posts: 142Member
    My mom has to sit there in her own house andpretend like nothing happened. And she says she can't even look at him or her! She feels so disappointed. My sister is the baby now, and she is an honor student, in choir, tons of clubs and dance. She has only hadone other boyfriend. Which my mom was naive with that too and she did lose her virginity to him. My mom makes it so easy thought. Boyfriends, girlfriends can spend the night, everynight. They go to work and all the kids ages, 20, 18, 16 are there with the house to themselves. Just having fun! My brother now has a 1yr old, and his gf is pregnant again 3mo. So now what is my mom going to do if someone else gets pregnant, raise 3 grandkids! Not to mention my grandma, my moms mom, was in the hospital last week admitted, and she just had to pay 6k to a lawyer for another problem that she has, something again that is totally not her fault, just one more nasty card life has dealt her with I feel so bad for her
  • AnonUser24
    Posts: 2,594Guest
    Just a thought... The first thing that I thought was that depending on the context of the rest of the convo... Was there any way she was being a smart ass? Like being sarcastic in response to him? Saying "oh sorry next time I'll just let you fuck me in the ass, jerk!" maybe a long shot but worth having an honest conversation with her to find out.
  • AloneOverseasAloneOverseas
    Posts: 2,312Member
    Oh wow ... I would freak out! 16 and anal?? And being pressured into it??! I think I would confront both of them, maybe together. She might be angry, upset, but hopefully he would be embarrassed enough to never pull a stunt like that again!

    Just the thought of girls doing this as kids just sickens me ... :(
    I love purple; I love cats. Imagine if cats were purple ...
  • Gianna
    Posts: 142Member
    @freedomlover: I had that same thought maybe she was teasing him, dirty talk?maybe? I think I've teased dh with it before? I hope so. That when I talk to her its not to late! I would hate to think that my poor little baby sister was exposed to so much physical pain in humiliation by someone who obviously doesn't really even care about HER!
  • Gianna
    Posts: 142Member
    Some of the other conversation was, put your shorts with my cloths into the washer.... dear lord how my mind races
  • SaraSara
    Posts: 1,064Member
    Or you could post her FB link here and she can have all these random mommies sending her messages... I know, I am cruel and unusual.
    Think of your problems as challenges to overcome not obstacles to be avoided.
  • Gianna
    Posts: 142Member
    I know that would be sweet:) but I would have to sacrifice my sm by exposing myself. I need this. But I will rely each and every advice my sm sisters have shared with me. I know at what angle to go with things now based on all the advice from this post, so thank you to all my smart and wonderdul ladies!
  • AloneOverseasAloneOverseas
    Posts: 2,312Member
    Will you update us with the outcome?
    I love purple; I love cats. Imagine if cats were purple ...
  • Gianna
    Posts: 142Member
    Yes of course
  • boring_nameboring_name
    Posts: 670Member
    I agree a talk with your younger sister about the consequences of both vaginal and anal sex is a great idea. She needs to know all the information so she can make informed decisions. If she is going to make adult choices she needs all the information. Add in to your conversation what constitutes rape and or sexual assault as well. 
    If she is an honor student, in clubs, dance, etc. Make sure she knows how a pregnancy can affect all of those aspects of her life, and encourage her to make positive choices about her future. 

    How old is this boy? If he is over 18, there is the possibility of a crime having been committed. Communication with a minor for immoral purposes is a crime that includes any sexual talk, photos, or descriptions usually through email, messaging or texts but I believe in person as well that's just harder to prove. It is a sex crime punishable by jail time and having to register as a sex offender. 

    As for your mom. IMO she should take back a little control over the household. Allowing bf/gf overnights and agreeing to raise your bro's kids? She is being taken advantage of and needs to set clear boundaries.

    I'll only add this part because I've been in her shoes (somewhat and a LONG time ago). I know you are scared for her and disgusted by the idea of her being with him however no matter how many times you call her 'the baby'... obviously she isn't a baby any longer. I only say this because to this day I STILL get treated as 'the baby', introduced as 'the baby' even though I am over 40. I have 7 older siblings. It can put pressure on her to prove "I'm NOT a baby!"... I was pregnant and married by 18, in that order.
    B
  • LifeofchaosLifeofchaos
    Posts: 1,046Member
    Without seeing the rest of the convo it doesn't seem like he's "raping" her. Just from reading your original post it seems like maybe it's something they are discussing and perhaps she's nervous about it (I know at 16 I sure as hell would have been) also it seems as if your mom allows such reckless behavior to happen allowing bfs/gfs to stay over..... That's crazy!!! All you can do is talk to her and be supportive. As @boring_name pointed out she is no longer a baby and it sure as heck doesn't sound like she is an innocent,
  • unforgivenunforgiven
    Posts: 12,718Confessional Manager
    Oh my goodness! She's only 16!!! Her bf sounds like a jerk, plain and simple. By her saying 'so sorry, I will let you ...next time' leaves my stomach in knots. I hope she's not doing this for the wrong reasons. All you really can do is be supportive.

    confessional-manager

    "What looks like torture is a time to rejoice
    What sounds like thunder is a comforting voice
    When what is beautiful looks broken and crushed
    And I say I don't know you
    But you say it's finished"
  • Gianna
    Posts: 142Member
    I still haven't had a chance to get her alone to talk. I've invited her twice already. But I'm going to invite her over again. We'll see? Or go over tomorrow