How Not to Comment on a Blog

I love comments. I crave comments. The little ding my e-mail makes when I have a new one has me dashing to the computer to see who said what. It’s flattering to have people react to the words you’ve written or parts of you that you share. Any blogger who claims not to care about comments is lying. Comments are what make a blog a blog, rather than just a diary.

Through comments, I’ve learned valuable sleeping tips and tonsillectomy recovery ideas and potty training tricks. I’ve learned where to buy things I couldn’t find myself and how to make the perfect ballerina bun. I’ve laughed really hard, and often thought that someones spur of the moment comment far rivaled my well planned out post.

Commenting is also a great way to gain readers– when you say something witty and entertaining on someone else’s blog, chances are people will want to follow you to your blog. But there are also some comments that ensure that they (or at least, I) won’t. And I seem to be getting quite a few lately. So, I present you with the top commenters I’d rather be without:

1. The Cut & Pasters: The most irritating commenter is the one who leaves a million comments such as “great post!” or “love it here!” clearly without having ever read a single word. It’s as if they’re trying to gain credit by hitting as many blogs as possible, except nobody is keeping score but them. While there are times when a simple word says it all, it’s obvious when the commenter has actually read the post or not. And that’s kind of the point.

2. The Shameless Pluggers: If you have something relevant to link, go ahead, but just posting “I have a great giveaway, be sure to visit!” pisses the hell out of me. Maybe add it at the end of a relevant comment. Maybe, but at least make an effort to say something else first. And what about the people who insist on leaving their url everywhere they visit? If your comment is worth following, I’ll click on your avatar and be brought to your blog. Typing it out won’t help you gain any readers.

3. The Inappropriate Commenters: Comments should be relevant to the post they accompany. This isn’t my Facebook wall, so don’t use the comment space for random thoughts or messages. See that mailbox icon above? Use that to e-mail me. Please.

4. The Spammers: It’s bad enough that my inbox is filled with girls from Russia who want to marry me and illegal drug suggestions, but my blog gets inundated too? That’s not cool. {The Akismet plug-in kills 99% of these, but before I installed it I was getting 100 or so a day.}

5. The Anonymous Pricks: Some of my favorite comments ever have had opposing views to mine. Well, that’s not true– my favorite tell me how witty and pretty I am, but I do very much appreciate when someone takes the time to present me with a differing point of view. But, only if that person has the balls to use their name. Otherwise, they’re just asking to be deleted. And I’m not afraid to do that.

6. The Un-Reachables: When I was on Blogger, nothing drove me crazier than someone asking me a question in a comment and finding “no-reply-comment@blogger. com” as the return address. Then, I am forced to respond to the question on their blog which isn’t appropriate or not respond at all which is even ruder. And fake e-mail addresses? Oy. Get a life.

7. The Paybackers: The “thanks for visiting my blog today” folks are not only rude, but insulting. While it is much appreciated when a blogger pays you a return visit, by simply thanking you for visiting them, they are making your little corner of the web about their blog. Same with “visiting from xyz!” You can’t find anything else to say along with that? Then don’t.

Did I miss any of your pet peeves? What drives you crazy? Or are you all too afraid to comment?