Women Are Losing Their Absolute Sh*t Over These Hot Florida Cops

BRB, moving to Gainesville, Florida

UPDATE: Disturbing news has surfaced regarding anti-Semitic remarks made by Officer Michael Hamill. We just can’t have nice things in 2017, dammit.

In the wake of Hurricane Irma, Floridians are assessing the damage and getting back on their feet. It’s been a hard several days, which is why a photo of super hot police officers about to work through the night helping those in need is making women of the internet very happy.

The Gainesville Police Department is here for all your hurricane recovery needs, and a recent photo they shared on their Facebook page before heading out to help residents post-Irma has plenty of women, um, needing things.

“Officers Nordman, Hamill and Rengering…part of the night crew getting ready to do some work,” the caption reads. The photo of the three officers has thirsty women trying to come up with reasons why the Gainesville PD should show up on their doorstep — and it’s hilarious.

The top comment is on top for a reason. Because, oh my God.

Rowr.

Grandma is wise AF.

Ticket? What ticket? *twirls hair*

Gainesville is about to see a tiny bump in female tourism. Just a tiny one.

These guys have women ready to turn to a life of crime.

We have the feeling a lot of Gainesville women are digging through their garages for an ax right about now.

In any other situation, the below chain of events would sound extreme. But not this time. We’re taking notes.

There were also several comments like this one, requesting a beefcake calendar of the officers. For charity, of course.

Happily, it looks like our dreams might come true. An update to the post assures us that there will be a calendar, and fast — with all proceeds going toward Hurricane Irma recovery. So not only are these guys smoking hot, they’re using their hotness for good. Swoon.

The department also dropped the disappointing news that Officer Nordman and Officer Hamill are both married, but their wives are loving all the women drooling over their hot husbands. But all is not lost, ladies — Officer Rengering is single, though his coworkers sound a bit concerned for his safety. The department writes, “Officer Rengering is being placed into Cougar Prey Protective Care, similar to the witness protection program for his safety.”

Very funny, guys. But I prefer to be called Puma.

They were also careful to instruct that no one should call them unless they’re truly needed. But like, define need, officers. “Please do not call 9-1-1 and request this group respond to your ‘incident’.”

Noted. But please keep posting photos, guys. With all the bad news lately, pictures of hot police officers helping out their citizenry is renewing our faith in humanity. And, uh, other things.