'Nothing's Wrong, It's Just Hard': Mom's Post Nails The Struggle Of Parenthood
Her post describes exactly what it’s like to be a parent
Author Bunmi Laditan wrote a post on her Facebook page recently that’s resonating with moms everywhere — because we’ve all been there.
Laditan details a typical morning getting her three kids ready to leave the house. She explains all the little hurdles she encounters in trying to get them all fed, clothed, and out the door — and absolutely nails why sometimes, “Nothing’s wrong, it’s just hard.”
She writes, “‘This is unbearable,’ I think as I listen to my children bicker. It’s not yet dawn, but they’re awake and their belligerent voices are an assault on my still-sleeping senses. Nothing’s wrong, it’s just hard.”
Wow. Was she taking notes in my house this morning as my daughter called out to her brother about whether he had her Rubik’s cube while he called out to me about what I was packing him for snack today? Everyone’s fine, but it’s still difficult. Trying to have a clear thought amid all the chaos is difficult.
Laditan notices her youngest son refusing to eat his breakfast. This will sound familiar. “I know he’s hungry,” she writes. “I sigh and turn to face the stack of soiled dishes I would have done last night had I not overdrawn on my energy reserves. Nothing’s wrong, it’s just hard.”
She beats herself up a bit for her lack of organization as her oldest kids riffle through the laundry pile to find clean socks and for the lunches she packed that are “healthier than I ate as a child but somehow still not good enough by today’s standards. Is string cheese a protein?”
“Nothing’s wrong, it’s just hard.”
Finally, she has her crew ready to go. “I put my coat over my pajamas and give my children a once over, making sure they look like they come from a home with a mother who cares. Close enough.” But even though they’re dressed, her youngest has finally decided to eat breakfast (of course), her oldest is worrying over a test (“I wish I’d helped her prepare more for”) and her middle is “lost in the angst of being the middle,” with Laditan reminding herself to give her more attention.
Of course, she can’t find her keys.
Eventually, she got the kids to school and nabbed herself “a warm, sweet drink purchased like a prayer at a drive-thru.”
“The day got going and all it cost me were a few gray hairs. Nothing’s wrong, it’s just hard.”
Who hasn’t had a morning like this? Basically all of my mornings are like this — rushing around and making sure everyone’s set, but all the while, I still never feel like I’m up to par. No matter what I do for my kids, I’m forever chiding myself for not doing more or better or different. Why didn’t I sign my son up for that after-school karate club he wanted to try? Why didn’t I make sure my daughter played a winter sport? I’m not reading with them enough. She’s not practicing her violin enough. He’s not being drilled on his math facts enough. They don’t eat vegetables frequently enough. I don’t clean the house often enough.
Basically, I never feel like I’m enough — and Laditan absolutely gets it.
She wraps her post with an analogy about stew that somehow sums it all up:
“Motherhood and life, two dishes messy enough on their own but when combined form a savoury, chunky stew: thick, and bubbling with potatoes, carrots, herbs, and chunks of tender meat in seasoned gravy. To be eaten at room temperature. With someone in your lap begging for bites, neck outstretched like the sweetest of baby birds.”
Sounds about right.
