9 Parenting Classes We Wish Really Existed

When you walk out into the world with your new baby, you might think you’re prepared thanks to the early parenting classes you’ve taken or books you read.

The upbeat “it’s so simple!” tone of parenting classes can give you the sense that now that you’ve got the instructions, all you have to do is follow them.

Now, in a certain way, that’s true. For example, you’ve read about people jumping out of planes. You’ve possibly seen videos, you may have talked to someone who’s done it. You understand the entire concept of jumping out of a plane. But it’s not until you actually kick open the airplane door that you realize that none of that really prepared you to – whoa! – JUMP OUT OF A PLANE!

So while the Infant CPR class is important and the breastfeeding instruction is essential, wouldn’t it be great if there were classes that instructed us on the real day-to-day challenges of being a parent? Wouldn’t it be amazing to have some transparency around the things that get little more than a passing reference from the parenting experts? We’d like some more instruction on the things that make us say, “Wait, WHAT?! Why didn’t anyone tell me about this?!”

If these classes were offered in real life, we’d be first in line to sign up.

How To Live In A House That Will Never Ever Be Clean Again Ever

The books tell you to “find 10 minutes to tidy up while the baby’s napping”. AHAHAHAHA! Good one…

What To Do When Your Kid Seemingly Doesn’t Need Sleep

Lessons include “How Is This Possible?” and “No, Seriously, How Is This Even Possible?”

What To Do When The Baby Poops In The Tub

This one is never covered in the classes. And it’s one of those things that happens and you completely freak out and call an experienced mom friend and she’s all, “Oh, yeah. That happens” but she totally doesn’t remember how she handled it because, duh, complete exhaustion.

Intro to Sleeping With Your Eyes Open

See above.

What To Do When Your Kid Suddenly Refuses To Eat Healthy Foods

Why does an adventurous and enthusiastic eater turn into a picky little emperor overnight? No one knows, but it happens. It’s time to embrace the pouch. I don’t know why babies love to eat from pouches, but they do. And yes – it might be the only healthy food your baby eats all day!

Getting Dressed 101

This class would cover topics like “Using Scarves To Cover Stains” and “Making Two Different Shoes Look Like A Fashion Choice!”

Fundamentals of Managing Life While Carrying A Baby 24/7

The parenting books really skim over babies that absolutely will not let you put them down, the ones who look at you like you’ve lost your entire mind when you try to hand them to someone else so you can go pee by yourself for 40 seconds.

How To Manage A Tantrum At The Grocery Store Without Having Strangers Take Your Photo And Post Judgy Instagram Comments About You

Self-explanatory.

Hormonal Changes For The Beginner

You’d think that surviving both adolescence and pregnancy, you’d be prepared for whatever your hormones throw at you. Wrong! Riding the postpartum roller coaster means learning all new ways to manage hormonal craziness.

Until a “Real Life Parenting University” opens, we’ll have to just rely on a combination of reading up, supportive family and friends, and good old wingin’ it! But mostly winging it. Because (spoiler alert!) not a single parent out there really knows what they’re doing. So you got this, mom.

Happy Family believes transparency is everything when it comes to caring for your baby. From the clear packaging that allows you to see each recipe to stories about the farmers who grow the ingredients, Happy Family’s Clearly Crafted gives parents the peace of mind we wish we had about everything else.